ignore me.
tell me i'm not worth being a civics rep.
tell me i'm irresponsible.

call me bitch.
call me hard-headed.
call me hard-hearted.
call me mean for making amanda cry.
call me stupid for crying.

call me whatever u fucking want.

i don't fucking care.

okie.
wasn't paying full attention in sch todae.
dunoe dreaming abt what.

i'm kinda depressed rite now.
over everything.
the only two things which made me feel better:
cong's smses (now) and i made it home to eat the chao siew rice ma bought for me.i dun tin it's intended for me.
i think it's cuz my dad doesn't wants it den she called me home to eat.
actually, i said no. but i managed to cum home so earli becuz i got no cca.
when i actually thought that i'll have volleyball trainings todae.
but becuz the rest rather go to their blardy fuck interact club.
i sat outside the theature for them for 30mins.
which made me so bored and pissed.
and i started thinking that they tua-ed me.
they lied.
they made me believe i'm actually going for volleyball.

i know that ah ma them oso dun wanna go.
fine.
why dun tell me straight in the face.
why givmme such high hopes den make me disappointed.
like who's so fucked up to join interact club.
interact my ass.

everyone in the class is gettin on my nerves.
i dun wanna act a goody goody in front of them.
i dun deserve the questioning of their notes.
i'm not responsible for their notes.
i'm not your maid.
i not superwoman.
i carn just give u whatever u want.
i'm just ur friggin civic rep.
i dun owe u pple anything.

stupid classmates.
they drive me crazy u know?
everyday, see me and say the same thing:
is our bio notes ready? who's the bio rep? can we go take our notes oursleves?
fucking hell.
i said NO once.
NO twice.
they don understand.
stupid nerds.
fucking hell.
study study study study.. shit.

blardy shit.
i know i'm fucking selfish.
i know what i command people too much.
i know i know.
so?
fuckers.

idiots loh.
come sch dun go for lectures.
might as well go home koon.
show face in assembly just for attendances.
i dun fucking care if u got retained cuz u dun attend lectures n pon everything.
but fucking hell, dun u make me carry all ur fucking notes home.
wich i just fucking did.

i'm not ur maid.
my blardy bag is heavy enuf.
i dun nid more notes.
i dun nid to help u.
ur notes isn't mine.
i shall forget to bring it tml.
i shall accidentally fold and crush it.
i don care if u wan it neat or anything.
i'm being fucking nice to carry that blardy notes home.
dat's nt my responsibility.
fucking ass.

fucking hell.
made me run in and out of the lecture hall during lecture jus to collect ur cca records.
i'm nt your dog.
can't u just come in and pass it to me..?
fuck.

u fucking people fuck the shit outa me.

t.i.r.e.d
spent the day in school really tryin hard to listen to all the lectures.
i felt so darn proud of myself man.
at least i noe abt my mole concepts, my ER, my bio stuff, my VA.
not definiately not APGP.
gawk, it's horrible.
sat with nazeem during chem and physics (i don take physics).
he's darn hardworking n cute lah.
haha. goot fwen! (:

hmmm...
went to meet cong at the airport for dinner just now.
ate at burger king den went to the viewing mall.
saw ching wen n her bf. yeah.
den juz sat there n talk cock.
read on article on his reader digest.
love the last sentence wich wrote: .....the challenge between self.
at least it meant like that la. i dunoe. :S
den he idiot lah he. that cong.
haiz. don like.
-hurmpf-

julius just called me.
damn. i'm shocked.
it's been exactly 1 year plus 20++ days since i ever saw him.
den he suddenly valled.
don tin he'll remember me at alll loh.
zzzz.
well, i need sleep.
seriously.

suddenly,
i feel so depressed.

man.
i am so dead.
damn tired. can just fall aslp in front of the com.

on yesterday:
went drama lesson.
they were learning us how to speak perfect chinese.
which made the having of my sore throat good cuz i don hav to read. lol
den went for the celebration of the performance.
spent the time there gossiping la.
about lemon winter tea, princess, the ugly prince, the softballer.
blah blah blah.
at least the talkin makes me feel young.
and it left me felt pretty bad.
but den, there're still be pple gossiping abt me.
why bother?

today:
boring lectures on n off.
met benny with the guys at kallang mac.
den we walked to leisure park for ban mee. lol.
some poor yet handsome fellow fell into the drain n
sprained his shuai right ankle.
[wink wink, gordan (: ]
gawd.
i felt darn guilty.
he and his stupid idea and me and my stupid thinking of agreeing with him.
poor guy.
den we went for the ban mee.
which made me pretty satisfied and happy.
poor guy though. -sigh-
den we sat around and crap till we got sian
and walked beck to the mrt station.
well, i must say that benny looked happy and that CJ badge rrly sucks.
lol.

plus plus, i found out that i'm not the only person hu find kingsley ^!@&*^@!&*#.
boy, am i glad!
felt like slapping him todae.
wassup with all the lies and playing of his blardy ringtones. so gayish.
i blasted my earphones so loud to ignore him during my bus trip.
man, i'm happy.

i'm sorry for being so mean thesedays to e peepz ard me esp manda.
i think the way i carry myself made her pretty awkward too.
as in, if i giv her those =( face, she'll be =(.
yah, but i carn help it.
i felt so impatient and irrtated with everyone.
everything they do irks me.
even when they pauses when we're walking, i'll go crazy.
when they wear slippers to school and din tell me, i'll go bersek.
when they did some lame and stupid stuff, i'll get so irritated.
man.





i must be growing up.

hey hey hey hey hey.

on yesterday:
went tpjc for interact club orientation.
(dun ask me why i went that cca's orientation)
then, went home with amanda.
went aljunied for GP lessons.
hmm hmm, went suntec with jie yin n amanda.
shop for benny's prezzie.
den we walk walk walk walk for like 2 hrs
still haben settle for a prezzie,
we decided to go mac for dinner and chun bian sms him ask him wad he like.
(our legs are aching n jie yin's screaming hungry)
stupid loh.
den we used him as a form of 'entertainment' by taking turns to sms him.
lol. shan't elaborate much.
but it left him pretty confused.
we laughed till i kept coughing and it hurts soo bad. =X
so corny. lol.
den we laughed as we walked, which made us chiong to the toilet 3 times.
lol. (:
den bought him a prezzie which i personally oso like. soo cutee!
then, when walking around.
jie yin went to the metro's kid section n bought a snoopy tee.
while i stared lovingly at the barbie's section.
-sigh-
den sent jie yin to her bus stop den went shopping with our tote bags.
apparently, we're broke. so zzz. =_-
den, went home loh.
online online.
well, i'm bored.

gotta bathe soon.
got drama later. zzz.
-sigh-

on todae:

went school, feeling pretty alrite
(wich is unusual cuz i hate school)
hmm.. went for lectures and stuff.
den after school, we peepz met up for lunch at TM.
woot. was v happy. (:
very.
until now.

just know that benny's gettin his ass outa tpjc,
just makes me feeling more upset.
it's not that he wanna leave, but his parents want him to,
cuz his appeal to cj is successful.
i mean, hu in the right mind will wanna go cj?
(okie, except erwin)
and everyone's so upset over it now.

i bet he's still up.
thinking about the rojak OG and all de dancing and fun.
why is leaving always bitter?
why must we always listen to our parents?
why carn we stick to our own decision?
why must we always be forced to do stuff we dun wanna do?
will any adults listen?
will they care?

they always think that they're right.
i mean.. yah right. =_-

-sigh-
i hope he's fine.
will pray for him later.
poor guy.
-sigh-

hope he's alright.

bother bother bother.
-argh-

woke up at 8pm.
and the 1st thing i tot was dragonboat.
at 1st, it's okie.
but my gums started to hurt.
went toilet knowing that i got a huge ulcer on my gums.
den i realise that, on the opposite side of the gums,
lies the lips, has oso a hole in it. (another ulcer)
blardy ulcer.
so, it's like ulcer on ulcer.
how cool. =_-
it sucks. cuz my lips have to move to speak
and in doing that the ulcer will brush against the other.
ouch. =_-

one ulcer is more then enuf to bear.
imagine the effects of two.

kay. i'm feel like dung le.
den i started thinking about dragonboat.
there's a competition tml.
i tot of avoiding every db peepz so i wun get to know tml's stuff.
but in the end, i managed to gather the courage to sms ella and ask.
she says i dun nid to go even for it.
i felt.....worse.

it's like, i felt so lousy as a leader.
so lousy.
i dun even know why people chose me as one.
i dunoe.
maybe i dun wanna know.

i feel like crying now.
it's like no1 understands.
no1 will ever understand.

now i know how yi wei felt during lunch,
when her senior is so upset with her.
the guilt just creeps up to you n refuse to budge.dat's how i feel now.

i felt so irresponsible for everything.
like being an OGL, siew ling.
i wasn't being v nice to her and stuff.
i kept forgettin her,
which leaves me searchin for her high n low when i realise that she's nt with me.
i kept forgetting her existence.
i hate myself for that.
i hate myself.

when ella told me i dun nid to go.
i felt happy yet sorry.
i felt that i somehow let her down.
let everyone in my boat down.
i'm sorry guys.
it's just me.
the selfish me.
the me who only cares about myself.
i felt so irresponsible for everything.
it's the fucked-up me.
i'm so damned.
damn.

sheesh.
kana banged!
argh.
i hate it.

stupid preston called me up.
and fooled me.
argh!
i feel so stupid.
i even thought it was....... hu called.
he frigging bluffed me he was some other guy frm tpjc.
*Y@&*^!%@&!%#!*
ain't gonna believe in anyone so easily again.

imagine my disappointment when i noe he's preston.
man! he's nt tt guy.
man! man! man!
wah liew!

-sigh-

you know what?

i think too much.

yay.
cong and me had the same msn nick.
which is .: JiA :. + [从] = RaWkz
a bit lame but den he tot of it.
nt me. (oops)

i do believe throughout your entire life in singapore.
u'll get to at least meet everyone living in singapore.
it's just that you don remember.
or it's just one or two seconds of passing-by eah other.
somehow or another, you'll get to meet everyone living in singapore.

*cuts away the crap talk*
man, went to school todae.
a bit sian diao loh.
was a bit like irritated in the morning.
so i din talk much.
then i started crapping.

i think everyone don feel good todae
for some reasons la.

amanda went for a walk herself.
(which implies that she doesn't feel good)

while i remain silent at times.
cause i believe i need to start observing the peepz around me.
(which in turn, make me realise abt amanda and my peepz' characters)

what else?
i think my OG 21 peepz are getting along very well w.o me.
except that nazeem din join them.
poor nazeem. -sighs-
well, i feel happy for them.
shall get my butt outa them too.
since i'm nt an OGL or smth.
i shall.......
i shall.....
i dunoe what i shud do anyway.

hmm. i received sanjay's sms this early morning.
am glad. (:
well, shall turn in now.

-guilthy abt pon-ing db-
but den why shd i feel bad?
the db gurls lied to me that they're going beck during the mass dance, and they din.
so... i lied this time.
an eye for an eye eh?
damn.

how did i turn that horrible?

i'm U.p.s.e.t

very. =(

sheesh.
i'm a unhappy one today.
(at least when it comes to the cca exhibition part)

hmmm...
orientation day todae was loads of fun.
morning was such crap tok abt cca.
den manda, jie yin, jia ying n me went to toilet to talk lo.
watched the j2s as they did their PE too.

den after the talk, the amazing race is like cancelled.
so we did mass dancing.
lol.
damn fun loh.
the guys and gers were dancing together holding hands.
soo cute.. (:
was soo damn fun.
bad thing i dun have a male partner to dance with.
-sniff-
wondered why i dun grab tt guy den dance with him.
lol.

so i grooved with chui ying or jennifer.
damn song loh.
den damian joined us.
din rrly tok to him.
got nth to tok abt too.

den we hav break so jerome and jia hao joined us.
we were like crapping den took jia hao's $
to treat my gang.
the lemon barley in canteen rawks sia. (now then i noe)
den went to photocopy contact list for e peepz.
with jia hao and jerome following.
think they oso nth better to do or else they wun follow us.

den got stage games.
i din rrly watched ran outta hall for a breather.
din see tt curly hair guy perform.
lol.

den we went for skit making lo.
in the end, the peepz did 'american idols'
with jerome doing most of the solo acts.
he rawks man.
lao hu. lao hu.lao hu.lao hu.
lol.

and he sucks too.
fancy lying to me and manda that he's a mixed blood.
when he's pure chinese.
the thing is is chinese sucks to an extend that he rrly speaks like a malay.
and and he looks like one la.
he even taught me how to ask guys for their fone number in malay. =_-

the skit was a success for it rawks
and it's the best.
woot! they rawks.
i hope i got the video of it soon.
den i got to noe tt jerome is frm choir
and he fucking hates chee guan.

he said to me fiercely: dun ever tok to me abt the guy.
i oso dunoe why.
chee guan isn't tt bad what.
jerome isn't tt bad too.

den we ended orientation.
the OGL stayed back.
wden we danced twice the whole 4 mass dances.
so we danced 8 times.
soooo funnn!
i love it man.

den took jerome to the choir room.
den went for the cca exhibition with the gang.
was very irritated during it la.
due to my hormones and my batt was runnin low.
i signed up for tennis and council.
i wanna go for the choir audition loh.
but stupid sore throat doesn't allow me to.
den i hope it'll be gone by friday cuz it's the last audi.
but i dun tin so.
it sucks.
i juz wanna sing.
zzzzzzz

and my fav cheer of all time:
assholes griffins assholes!

lol.
what else?
i'll miss my orientation.
=(
-sniff-

lao hu but fa wei,
dang wo shi bing mao.

*laughs like siao*

beck frm school.
wheee.. my orientation group rawks like hell la. (:
todae... as usual... many pple pon orientation loh..
before games, it was learnin the cheers.
which suck cuz my OG pple wun shout lo.
den we just stone there.
i'll shout if i can.
argh. stupid throat.
in the end, jerome shout at manda and they start shoutin at each other.
=_-
in the end, my OG only left 2 people.
jerome and sum ger la.
den after rearrangin e family peepz for the games, we had a new team.
12 members. (:
comprising of benny and co and more gurls. yay!
den we played our wet games loh.
damn funn!

i ended up sacrificing my time running to n fro to the water cooler.
to get water for the peepz so that they dun get heat stroke.
the sun is soooo big out there todae loh.
den hav to keep refilling cuz i splashed my water on my members.
they damn mean to me ah the guys.
dey refused to givmme back my bottle loh.
den dey play catching with me. =(
run 1/2 way lazy to chase la.
end up filling waith for jerome hu dropped my hp for me.
and pour water at me loh.
zzzzz.
slapped the guys' backs.
dey were like growling in pain.
lol. wich makes me soo happi.
lalalalala.

ohya...
so what loh.
the the the derwin arh.
i dun owe him anything loh.
fucking no.
give me fucking attitude.
you think i fucking care ah.
dun cheer dun cheer la.
dun play dun play la.
dun nid to vent your fucking anger at me.
dun bother making you whole face turn red and tell me fucking that u hate it.
think loh. if u dun like, u're missing out all de fun.
argh.
these kinda morons drive me crazy.

another kind is those like meng boon.
argh...
so hungry for power.
always acting as the family head when he's not loh.
family head got meetin he go.
he think he what?
show no respect for yun zheng nia.
zzzzz.

the gurls are much better.
they help me fill my bottle w.o me asking
but they made me panic cuz i carn find my bottle.
lol.
i love my bottle.
very much.
(:

man, i love my new OG 8.
gonna take more pics of them tml.
oh yah...
the 2 words: lao hu!

man.
just came home frm school.
argh.
i hate that blardy school uniform.
it's completely water-proof loh!
i can feel the sweat rolling under the neck to my body.
and the water wun evaporate cuz the blouse is waterproof?
ahh! so fucked up.

so.. now my uniform is soaked in the water now with some softener.
i do hope it helps. (:
argh.
so damn gross lo.
i wore it throughout the whole day loh. =_-
mass dancing and stuff.
argh!
horrible.

yah.. but it was fun todae.
the mass dances and the cheer part.
others suckx.
the treasure hunt game.... so lame loh.
in the end, my OG never play..
we all dismiss them for lunch. lol. (:
hmmm... the collecting money part and the attendance part friggin sucks.
but when it comes to the cheering part.. it rawks man!
though i haben got much voice left.
(due to the stupid sore throat of mine)
i shout as loud as i can la.
bloody hell.. it made me cough out blood with phelgm.
den it's cool to know that a stranger is linked to me. lol.
as in..siew ling was linked to sam and von.
den benny linked to you sheng n joseph.
etc etc.

got to know a new malay friend though.
he's very nice. (:
but i just heard sumtin abt him which is pretty sad.
-sigh-
but he still rawks though.
good fwen! (:

i looove dancing! whoot!

on y'dae:
last drama performance.
stupid preston left his jeans hanging in the toilet
den after dinner, we went to find the jeans for him.
den he sent us home loh.
again, i was the last to drop off.
so... on the highway, he sped loh.
he just wind down the windows, blast the music and on his blue light in the car.
and drove up to 160km/h.
i was like holding on tightly onto the handle loh... freaking out. =_-
den went home at ard 12+.

anyway.... Pegaus rawks mua world baby. (:
mass dancing rules!

whee!
just came home.
preston sent me home again.
good driver.

hiak hiak.
he drove me and manda frm tpjc to huay kuan oso.
good thing that he teachs hai sing n lives in seng kang.
haha.

tml last day le.
got sunflower frm wei qi.
2 lollipops frm ah fat and li ren.
the guys went for supper todae.
lol.

what else?
just washed my tpjc uniform.
zzzz.
i rrly dun rrly like that boon wen.
argh.
he reminds me of zan yan.
zzzzzzzz.

the bottomline is...
Preston Rulex (only till tml cuz after tml no chauffer le)

man. shall talked bout y'dae.

i came home at 2am.
so crap.
i thought dad will kp me.
but all he said was : don do it again next time.
apparently, i went bendemeer for supper with the seniors.
after the drama.
cause preston says he can drive me home what...
free ride.. why not? lol.
den.. went bendemeer for supper loh.
cheese prata. banana prata. i had dinosaur for drink.
the drink is soooooo sweet.
(it's just milo with milo powder on it lah)
den ate cheese n banana prata with regina.
had shawn's tom yam.
jace's vegetables, mutton and fries.
den i full liao.
yum yum! (:

den li ren started to talk n talk n talk.
(they say not talking is his speciality) lol.
den preston tell me a lot of stuff la.
apparently i was sittin beside him what
den we talk cock loh.
he failed his a levels loh.
den retake.
den he's frm TPJC ah!
sheesh. i don wanna be the next him.
den the guys start their 'cai yi' performance.
den shawn was like looking at me when regina feeds me.
lol. so farni.
den he give the disgusted look.
den guy can make smoke out his mouth after eating tom yam soup leh.
den wei yuan started his one hand clap.
den li ren starts talking.
lol.

den they start talking about driving, police, cars.
den i sit there listening loh.
den teck just got his motor license.
man. that's bad.
i mean it's nt tt good to ride a bike.
dangerous la.
den... teck was like walking with a ger lo..
den BZ was like shouting for him den he nv reply
den BZ went to take his fotos.
lol.
so crap.

ahh.. den they talk a lot of cock lo.
den sat preston's car to send everyone home.
den i'm the last to alight
den he send me home all the way to my house.
=_-
den went to bed lah...

sheesh.
i finished crapping le.
ciao! (:
gotta head to school later.
and maybe preston can drive me to toa payoh oso.
good that he's teaching in hai sing cat.
near tpjc.
yay!
=D

Name LIN JIAMIN ID Number S8733****
Institution Posted To TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE
Course Posted To SCIENCE / 31S

Jiamin is my name.


bitching is my game.

bloggin' time!

was going through the peepz in friendster.
it's sad to know people u thought u know well, din add you.
oh well.
never mind.
shan't complain.
since i'm the suxier one among all of them.
-smirks-

got some free General Paper lesson later.
so i'm headin' there for it.
and before that, maybe chiong to manjusri to pass gui my physics file.

i think he prolly wants to show the students my mind mapping i guess.
cause i think he expects me to get a C5 for my physics.
and i upgraded myself to B3
cause i bothered to draw mindmaps for all my chapters.
seriously, i like mind mapping.
i think it's very cool and very cute too.
don't you think so? =P
that's the way i mug la.
i remember as i write
and by drawing a mindmap
i can write lesser yet know the whole concept.
clever? lol.

den gotta rush to huay kuan for the performance.
todae got no reheresal lo.
very freaky de.
zzzzz.

oh yah.
i got a fucking sore throat.
which came at the WRONG time.
if i don't get well by monday.
my orientation group will die loh.
i don except amanda, jie yin and jia ying to shout.
-sigh-
my team all girls.
so unfair!!
i'll die..

and i got to know that the 2 brothers, BZ and teck
in my drama production.
actually don't live together.
it gets me thinking.
not WHY dey don live together but the BENEFITS when they don live together.
lol.
den i start imagining myself separated frm my jie n di.
quite cool huh?
lol.
=P
man. the thinking actually makes me happy.
lol.

we need to stop.
just stop.
stop for a moment.

think about the past.
the memories.
the once zappy happiness.
the once dreadful sadness.
where it began.
where it ended.

be glad the bad ones are gone.
and await the good ones to come.

it's weird.
i think a lot when i walk home.
i started realising that every single second,
there'll be at least one person dying in the whole wide world.
for wadeva reasons.
old age, sum friggin disease, cancers, AIDS...
i feel the pain.
dun ask me why.
but i feel the tugging of the heart.

well.. so..
be happy.

if u're sad for whatever reasons,
be glad u're still alive.

i'll kiss my ass before i think of you.

the biggest challenge you'll ever come across.........
is yourself.

now...
it's me against me.

lost feelings.
lost hope.
lost love.
lost crush.

lost you.

bored bored bored.
i shall blog! =D

MmmMmmmMmmmmmmmmm...
shall crap on tuesday.

-tuesday-
went school.
get to know new fwens for Orientation Group Leader thingy again...
yah.. 2 more guys... Zzz.
(shalln't type more on them)
den make the play-cards.. zzz.
play one stupid water game den it rained...
den we all siam loh to play in de hall...

yah.. saw huang bi ren and hu yan bing those TCS channel 8 actresses and actors in TPJC lo.
apparently they came to make full use of our track and stand.
they are filming loh.
so lame la.. some running show.
den huang bi ren came over to ask for the direction of the toilet.
haha. so lame den we all so distracted by them.

den went tampines BK today.
for some GP tutoring by ailing.
ate the caramel pie! YummY!
dey all don like.
except me =/ it's soooooo nice loh.
dey all dunoe how to appreciate it.

hmmm den went walking around TM.
a bit sian dao.
look at those clothes.
haha. chio but i'm blardy broke.
i want the OP beach tote bag! -pouts-
chio loh. but again i'm blardy broke.

i feel like snipping off my hair.
but den i dun bear to. lol.
i wanna cut the atomic kitten's tt chio bu's hairstyle.
cool?

i must eat more tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.
tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.tomatoes.

and and and

oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.
oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.oranges.

man. i cleared my mail inbox.
it was tuff. i dunoe what to delete.
den i remembered that i've an ang moh fren.
scott. lol. who was a gay (dunnoe much now lah)
i think he's handsome as in VERY shuai loh.
a walking Ken barbie
but he's in US and and he's a gay.
oh man.

hmm... i gonna chiong to da toilet to bathe.
meeting manda them less than an hr later.
ciao peepz

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs,
they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love,
they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do
things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in
my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It
means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid.

It means I have the courage and strength to
allow myself to be who I truly am and won't
become anyone else's idea of what
they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is
nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame,
try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold
within me. You won't succeed. And if
that makes me a bitch, so be it.

sexy sexy sexy.
naughty naughty naughty.
bitchy bitchy bitchy....

Me

-sheesh-
how's my heart today?!?!?!?!
oh.. it says that it's okay todae.
cause i was pretty exhausted after dancing and running all over.

went for the OGL thingy todae.
paid 20 bucks.
went pasir ris park and pasir ris beach for stupid games.
den when it rained, we rushed back to TPJC for mass dancing session.

was dancing with hui yun.
cool.
i love dancing. (:
den end le.

walked home frm school.
f-a-r.
den climbed 6 storeys to house.
i dunnoe why i din take the lift.
oh well.
i wanna diet! (:

hmmm.... shall walk home tml again.
man, what the heck.
i'm tired.
very tired.

-argh-
i need sleep.

oh oh.
was in the shelter when it rained.
and that ming hiong and his gf have to like hug n touch one another.
i was like 'hello?? eeew!'
den his head was on the ger's shoulder den he kissed the ger's neck..
eew! in front of ME loh.
i was like 'liew! =________-''' '
yah...
i'm nt jealous.
i'm juz grossed out!

Eewww!

and oh. by the way, my group is Pegasus.
some legandary fluing unicorn from a storybook.
was initially from phoenix. but i changed.
argh.
so racist. the dragon grp all malays.
and the tin is that they r so qiang! oh man!
cannot cannot.
-shakes head-
=X

now i know why love hurts.
now i know why a crush is called a crush.
now i know why people like to go near their crushes.
now i know why people like to peep at their crushes.
now i know what's jealousy.
now i know the feel of quicken-paces of heartbeats.
now i know how jen feels.
now i know how it feels like to talk to someone u like.
now i know how it feels like when you know tat he doesn't like you.
now i know how heart-broken people are when they get jealous.

now i know.
cause.............................................................................

and it sucks.
it really does.

-sheesh-
am tired.
very tired.

-stares into the mirror-
i hate my face. the pimples. ARGH!

okay.
i'm damn bored.
got OGL thingy tml.
gotta groove to da music with a partner for mass dancing
-may i find one hu i think is shuai-

-yawns-
jen's seeing her frog prince tml.
(i hope she's very happy)
but den i'm nt happy.

-sigh-
very unhappy.
very.

-press the 'forget' button in the mind a zillion times-

forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.
forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.
forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.
forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.
forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.
forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.forget him.

-shakes head-


i can't.

-yawns-
tired tired tired.
having a fucking headache now,
argh. =_-

i feel so bad now.
i hate myself.
i hate my life.
i hope i wasn't me.
i hope i can take over someone's place.
xin lin/amanda/fang jiamin/wan jun........
i actualli thinks that i'll be good off if i were them.
argh.

i hope i was the only child.
so that everyone will only care for me.
so that i can get anything i want and everything i need.
so that my parents will spoil me.
so that i wun feel so fucking bad now.

i dunoe why no1 cares about me.
i dunoe why i feel like shit now.
i dunoe why i'm so lonely.
i dunoe why i'm so ugly
i dunoe why i'm so fat.
i dunoe why i'm so stupid
i dunoe why i feel so unwanted.
i dunoe why i AM so unwanted.
i dunoe why i have so many pimples.
i dunoe why i have to disappoint myself just not to disappoint others.
i dunoe why i must like one person so much.
i dunoe why i carn get to love sumone.
i dunoe why i feel so unexcepted.
i dunoe why i feel so inferior.
i dunoe why my speech sucks so much.
i dunoe why my english suck.
i dunoe why my chinese suck too.
i dunoe why i carn cope with my subjects.
i dunoe why i wanna cry.
i dunoe why no1 wans to help.
i dunoe why my dressing suck.
i dunoe why i have so many pimples popping out at a time and wun stop.
i dunoe why i hate everyone.
i dunoe why i'm so broke.
i dunoe why i can't do what i want.
i dunoe why no1 supports me.
i dunoe why he don likes me.
i dunoe why i feel so tired.
i dunoe why i feel so sick.
i dunoe why i feel so used.
i dunoe why i feel so sad inside but i have to smile on the outside.
i dunoe why i have to pretend like nth happened but everything bad had actually happened.
i dunoe why i carn find one person to pour everything on.
i dunoe why.
i dun understand..
i dun.

i wanna leave this place.
take me away.
i feel so empty.
so empty inside...

-pouts-
i'm running late for drama rehersal but i shall blog first.
haben been blogging.
haben finished my templates for my blog.
but i think beyonce's rrly chio.
so i had her on my blog.
cool?

yah. brudder's back frm camp.
ain;t got much time to see him online or else where
with the OGL camp (mass dancing!), drama performace (i'm doing the audio)
and and the class camp (wich i obviously will nt be interested in going)
so i'm anti-class camp.
sorry dudes.
i mean yah. jiamin suck.
so what if i do?
it wun make u any better frm me nor it'll make u good.
for i know i'm da least suckest among the 'guys gang if u call it'

fine. i'm nt in the guys gang.
i'm anti-guy in class.
cause..
1. it isn't a guy gang in the very 1st place. wassup with the bimbos inside?
(fine. nt that they don fare well in teh o's but how stupid can one get when u saw them titrating 45cm3 when they merely poured 5cms and the burette read 45cm3.)
2. guys hang out with zan yan hu was beck-stabbing them oso.
3. the guys juz simply suck.
4. the bimbos suck too.
5. there's nt reason to why guys suck lah. =_-

k.
back to the mother-fucking asshole zan yan.
reason why he suck:
1. he's ugly
2. he's still fat.
3. he's nt tanned in fact VERY WHITE.
4. he thinks he's smart.
5. he belittle people.
6. he insults people for EVERYTHING.
7. he likes to insult people from the normal stream though he's only frm the express stream.
8. he beckstabs.
9. he is a flirt.
10. he hates people who hao lians but that what he always do.
11. he thinks he is right all the time.
12. he says he is the chinese walking dictionary (kiss my ass man)
13. he carn exercise. (stupid weakling)
14. he thinks he is super shuai but in fact he looks like white shit.
15. he sucks cause he sucks.
16. he doesn't dare to insult people in front of them.
17. he's one of those bootlickers.
18. he thinks that having a girlfriend is a very BIG thing.
(which in his cae, i think it ought to be too cause i didn't figure out that some cocked-eye girl will actualli want him)
19. he actualli dared to insult me and it happened that i noe it.
and.. 20. does being a sucker needs a reason?

sheesh.
he fucking sucks man.
quoted frm him: "that jiamin arh. wear princess' gown oso dun look like princess. mjr uniform very ugly meh?"
i mean yah.. i't sugly plus i dun wanna be seen knowing HIM. so i wun wear the same school uniform as him unless i need to. that asshole.
to think that i actualli forgive and said sorry to him to make peace with him.
since he wanna start that ALL OVER again.
den i'll take him on.
i'll make sure he come kneeling down n say sorry to ME....
fucking ass.

late update on my results:
engrish: b3
chinese: a1
e maths: a2
a maths: b3
physics: b3
biology: b3
chemistry: b3
combined hum: b3

so my L1r5 is 15.
same as adrian. (eew!)
heard frm sanjay.
well, i missed blogging.
ain't much time to blog now too.

i wasted quite a bit money last week.
got myself a mp3 walkman. gareth gates cd. liang jing ru's cd. valen hsu's cd and beyond's cd.
woah. i'm amazed.
i love being a shopaholic.
just tt i dun haf the money to be one.
-pouts-
i wan the gareth gates 1st album la.
-sigh-
well, i love the billy gilman cd oso.
so fucked up right? lol.
what else arhhh...

okie, i sprained my leg last wed while playing frisbe during PE.
i cried a lot. it hurts like hell..?
it's pretty pai sei to cry in front of ur mates.
was at jen's hse when i cried.
amanda had to squeeze my ankle wich was then so swollen n hurting.
so my tears just poured out, yah. it did.
den i carn stop crying le.
lol.
arhhhh....
what else?
nth much to say leh.
got oso too much to type.


the bottomline is: i'm lonely. -sigh-