hahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhhaha.

-off to try the math question yet again-

how i wish i cud feel like this forever. (:

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

woot!
crawled bed todae.
haha.
supposed to go kallang for the sea carn heats for j1 todae.

haha!
supposedly to be meeting jen jen in the train.
but i left home earli thinking tt the bread shop got open.
cuz i was darn hungry and needed breakfast, but the shop isn't open.
so i ended up in simei mrt earli.
so i decided to wait for jen jen in tanah merah.
ahha, den she came.
den i read her sms.. haha. so funny.
den got jie's sms too.
with all the fuck words. haha.
so funny, was pretty pissed at firest but it's all misunderstandings la.

den met all of them at kallang.
ah ma was late, but wells,
she bought fruit cake for me for breakfast so i can't say much. :P
thanks!
see? i love her!
she loves me!
soo nice of us! (:

den reach le,
while waiting for our race,
i went to james ong and asked him to row with us.
in the end, we all exchanged seats and i was the pacer.
haha.
den when we were going into the sea,
tt nordin says we sure lose. =_-
fucking hell.
rowed with james ong.
he rawks man! (:
den willie was the coxer.
haha.
very funny la.
shi yu was the person hu started the race
and she made sure everyone's boat was in line. (:
thanks yah!

den we lost.
we're the last.
ha, no big deal actuali.
predicted.
actualli zi yang doesn't remember the deal we had. :P
-phew!-
den willie was like i tried my best le,
and and the whats'hisname guy was like teling him, i already let u win liao, but i still won.
haha. doink doinks.

den den, everyone left.
sat on the water-breaker with amanda waitin for training to start.
lalala, den amanda left.
den i just followed shi yu n hui sin to sdba to sell the fishball.
tt last 3 packets of fishball we sold was to a damn weird acs boy.
he actualli wanted to trade his smashed choc with us and some plasters.
haha.
weirdo.
he was god-damn rich.
there was 50, lotsa 10 and 2 dollar bills in his wallet.
damn. i wasn't tt rich when i was in sec sch, and even now. =(
poor me.

den was like waitin for their debriefing to be over.
wanted to go for lunch with them,
but realised i'm too broke to,
so i headed home.
den while walking james ong came outa the kallang river toilet.

he was waving to me.
my eyesight has worsen so i din realised it was him
but as i walked nearer den say hi.
den we walk to mrt together.
haha.
he was telling him a lot of things.
his muggin days, why i shd study, how i shud study, etc etc.
we sat the same mrt, cuz he was going beck to sch.
den we tok about lotsa things la.
apparently he was the one talking. haha.
i was just listening.
haha.

he's v v v v v v good.
if there's a bestest cher in the whole sch, i'd vote for him.
hee. (:
though he doesn't teach me. :P
but he make me regret my deicison of taking bio chem
i shud have take econs.
haha.
with a cher lidat, i'm sure to score.. (:
so jia ying, u can do it de! he's a great cher! (:

well, james ong made me determined to mug.
i'm going to mug using his ways.
i think it'll work.
well, it will work. (:

haha, thanks arh james!
u rawk. (:
shall tell u more lame stuff in the future.
oh, told him about silly and stubborn, next to stupid.
hahaa. (:

damn!
i missed the 'crouching tiger and hidden dragon' film!
i only saw zhang zhi yi. she 's god-damn chio!
i love her to bits man!
yummy!

ha, my armpits are screaming in pain!
it's red.
too much abrasions against the life vest and the cockpit edge.
fucking hell.
pain! =_-

what else?
i'm feeling like shit now
kheng hong called me and asked if he can dun go for the heats for sea carn tml o nt.
i almost wanna screamed at him.
ha.
expected anwyay.

argh.
i'm dying.
someone save me.

ha,
just remembered.
was like asking the gurls to tok about their love life in shiyu's hse todae.
den hui xian asked me.
i told them i dun haf.
wich is v true la.
den.. =_- haha, shiyu mentioned nua nua!
shit sia.
i almost luff my ass off.
hahaa.
gauwk!

went running todae.
ran just 2 rounds.
lack of strength, stamina, and time.
am supposed to go home to prepare the dinner stuff.

oh!! i even try reading chinese and english articles le.
must try to improve my chinese reading skills.
my chinese oral is dying.

well, i haben bathe.
i stink.
must go try maths later.
promised myself.
-sigh-
nite.

ha.
damn tired now.
shall do a summary on todae.

slpt at 1am.
woke up at 6.15 with amanda's morning sms n call.
den struggled a while to get off bed.
changed.
ate the malt dad prepared for me
den chiong mrt.
reached kallang.
saw ella.
walked with her to sdba.
den, talking cock all the way about studying, marriage, etc etc.
and getting old. haha. it's incredible to just tin of it.

rowed in the gurls boat at 1st,
den changed to the guys' boat.
ookay, they were fast in their pacing
and water fly and splash at heavy rain everytime we row, esp during the starts.
den train like mad.
now my palm old blisters which are recovering had new blisters on them.
damn, must stick plasters on them tml.
den, end training, went lp to eat ban mian again.

den went shi yu house to slack.
haha
her toot toot terrier ruby is so skinny!
it hates all of us for no apparent reason,
kept barking at us and trying to bite us.
haha.
den ate cookies, yummy! (:
while watching tt mtv, okie, the vj linda is chio..
i'm damn damn damn jealous
but well, it's okay.
i carn do anything about my looks seriously.
i just suck. =P
den crap talk loh.
den did nail polishing for shu hui.
okie i suck at it.
den played with the nail polishes.
and was raining like free want loh.
den walked to the bus stop with shu hui in the heavy rain.
waited for bus 12 damn long.
though my bus came 1st.
ahhh. den reach home, washed the shorts and sponge.
cuz i nid it tml.
there's sea carn heats and trainin afterwards.
so damn right?
i dunoe how am i going to cope with everything la.
well, i need sleep desperately now.
so ciao!

jia you to other taking a and o lvl chinese exam tml! (:

doinks doinks doinks!
ought to be muggin away todae.
but the stupid me, as usual,
spent my time in front of the computer,
trying to find a nice pinkish background for this.
sucky..
after like 4 or 5 hours, everyting has gone to waste.
cuz i cant find a blardy nice pinkish blog background in here.
fuck rite?

what's the colour of a human spirit?
is it yellow for happy?
red for anguish?
black for strength?

gawk, i can not wait for olympics to come.
i hope ian thorpe can compete in at least one of the games.
pleaseeee!! =/

well, haha.
i really hate myself for not mugging hard.
urgh.
someday i'll be able to do that.
maybe.
-smirks-

well,li yan made a gnag blog for us.
haha.
i rrly love the username for the blog.
haha.
i find it real cute! (:
-grinz-

haha, blardy fuckin brudder kpkb-ing for the com
haha.
but still i wun bug till i finised wad i wan to do.
(:
he v fucking noisy la.
i rrly hope he dies. (:
i hate him. really.

wad's more?
well,i think i will go buy dinner and start muggin'.
ciao peepz. (:

haha.
my brudder is like some lunatic screaming, turnin, twisting.
haha.
he's one real fucker.
damn it.
why do i have such lousy brudder..?

tada!
it's a friday!!
and my sch has ended 2.5 hours ago! woo!
i'm delighted.
very delighted.
hahaha. (:
it's the june hols!
-clap clap clap-
-hurrays hurrays-

been waiting forver for this to come.
shall do wad i promise myself to do.
to relearnt everything i had been taught for the last 6 mths.
i ne it's gonna be hard due to the lack of concentration i have.
but well, i shall do my best k?

*note to the others:
when u see me online, ask me to fuck off to mug.
when u see me slacking, ask me to fuck off to mug.
when u see me online, just god-damn-it ask me to go offline.
and i'll wurve u very very much..
serious! (:

ooh, the thing is i just remembered that the o lvl's chinese is coming v soon,
around the june la.
well, i wish those to are taking their o lvls mother tongue all the best. (:
jia you! u can do it de!
chinese isn't tt tuff actually.
the paper 2 is damn easy. (primary sch standard in my case)
the paper 1 is the one which determines ur grade la.
the compo part.
eeyyer! i alwasy hate chinese compo.

which reminds me of my chinese now.
it suck so badly like my english. =(
even speaking in chinese is an obstacle now.
i dunoe why leh.
i suck at everything except sproutin nonsense.
i suck at speaking english, but i can read and write in english perfectly.
i suck at reading n writing in chinese but it's okie for me to speak in chinese.
hell, what's wrong with me?!?!

okie, the key point (lol.mr toh) is i suck. =(

den den todae, was crappy.
i found myself laying on granny's bed.
ha, had a lot of mosquitoes bites on my legs. sucky.
bathe den dad fetched me to school.
den upon reaching sch, i had tummyache.
and i had tummyache throughout almost the whole day can!
went toilet like 5 times le.
if my tummy doesn't ache, at least my a**hole hurts. haha
so fucked up rite?
ha, den went for the db test.
crap lah.
my pulling sucks.
did 68 for left and 64 for right.
den si ge was like watchign me during my test.
he v happy when i m suffering. =_-
cuz he smile smile smile when i was in pain.
urgh.


ha. now blardy hell,
my lil' fucking brother is crying
cuz he wants to use the blardy com just for his stupid com game.
sometimes 9well most of the times) i rrly wished i cud slapped him hard on his fucking cheeks.
just becuz he wants to use it to play doesn't mean tt i HAVE to let him play.
the thing is i came 1st.
when he wakes up he started kpkbing tt he wants to use.
fucking hell, if u wanna use u blardy hell, stay up n wait for it la.
hu ask u to sleep.
now i play den u just wake up and try to spoil my mood.
ha, fuck off la.
how i wished he was dead.
den h cud sleep forever and not wake up and bug me saying tt he waited v long for the com and he wants it now.
blardy hell, he threaten to off the whole damn switch, luckily dad is around.
or else he will rrly off it and i'll fucking make sure he pays for it.

okie, anyway pei shan!
todae si ge wore red boxers to school.
plus i think he smokes. =_-
he got those smoker look.
plus nuam nuam smokes.
seeing nuam nuam carrying a lighter means he smokes to me. =_-
hmmm.. maybe nua nua smokes.
hahahaha. =_-

den den den, okie la, chem lecture, went J201.
mr tan was like pissed with us cuz we were late and we damn slow.
haha.
den i almost dozed off during his tutorials loh.
u dunoe how good he is in psycho-ing pple to sleep.
den bio lecture.
haha. funny.
the audi is damn cold can.
den my contacts dropped.
so i remained cocked-eye thru-out the whole lecture.
den toh wans me to go present smth with me being cock-eyed and cold.
was the on the stage, cud rrly see, so it's good. (:
but the stage is so blardy cold can.
my teeth is shaking..... =_-
urgh. so idiotic.
den chiong outa the audi when the lecture ends.
so happy can.
can defroze!
den GP.
mr lim forgot to call us to hand in the paper 2 which i obviously din do.
sooo yay! (:
den den bio tutorial, mr toh was liek going thru the essay question
he is the 2nd best in psycho-ing pple to sleep, next to mr tan ah lek.
haha, i almost fell asleep.
i wa like staring into spcae le, den i looked at him
dn he looked at me and smile. =_-
den i just turned my head, like dao-ing him lidat.
haha.
so funny. =_- damn tired la.
den got the stupid quiz.
haha. failed le
copied a lil' frm jie yin. haha.
but still sure fail.
den ciao liao.
toh let us go 30 mins earlier loh.!
actually todae is supposedly to end earli.
all classes end at 2.15 todae.
but the fucking thing is my school day ends at 2.15 todae oso!
so i din get to miss any lessons la.
so duh! =_-
wasted rite?

haha, den chiong to the canteen, so hungry after going to toilet for ao many times and i haben ate a single thing.
den left our bags in the canteen, started to walk to the waffle + bubbletea shop.
den the gate auntie ask us to help her buy.
den we okie loh.
den walk 1/2 way, i sudden;y realised tt we should go the library to return the books 1st cuz later we sure cannot finish eatin the waffle de. =_- plus we cannot bring our bubbletea into the library
den we went beck to the canteen, chiong to the library, return n borrowed some books den chiong the the shop.
on our way down, saw nuanua.
ha, he looked shagged.
den ah ma tell me, eh jiamin ur nuanua v tired leh!
den i was like yah yah yah, den dun care le cuz rrly damn hungry lah.

ha, the funny thing is i everyime talk about him to the rest like i noe him damn well lidat.
den damn crap la.
den everytime i see him, my gang will have a big commotion, den ill act like i dun care lidat.
haha, so everytime i see him, i treat as if i nv see him lidat. haha.
so cute of me rite ? haha =_-

den den bought two waffles and 1 choc ice blended den walk beck to sch, sat on the table directly in front of the side gate den tok and eat with jie yin n manda.
haha.
so crap den chris n li yan came along.
den chris kept chao-ing wanna go home.
den jia ying, yin yin came over.
den jie yin started to tok to yin yin about snoopy.
de topic only they interested.
we listen until sian le so we ciao. haha.
en my bus came rite in time. yay.
was the 1st to go.
well, i gtg chiong to the toilet le.
ahha. tummyache again.

oh.. jay jay smsed me todae.
haha. (:

and thanks li yan for the card.
yah, will mug hard de.

-sigh-
there's db tml and sunday.
hai.
wish me luck.
=D

hey hey hey hey hey. (:
tired tired tired.
just finished washing the dishes.
haha.
stupid xing he.
blah blah blah.

school's sucky todae.
v slack la.i tin i go sch for nth loh.
chinese is such a bore.
just sat there n do the worksheet.
din complete it in time,
my chinese suck to the core de.
den ate a fish burger for break.

den chem lecture loh, oso dunoe wad the cock tt guy is tokin abt la.
but i'll catch up during the hols.
den maths tutorial, i oso dunoe wad i doing.
haha.
den GP tutorial, was copying all the meaningful stuff into my bk, din do his worksheet la.
he say tml must hand in but i dn do anything so i heck. =_-
haha. our class isn't handing in any work to him loh.
so he can man man wait lah :P

den slack the whole noon away in the library, talking, drawing away.
haha.
den library close le, we went to the toilet.
apparently eveyone was having tummyache.
haha.
den on our way to toilet, saw nua nua.
eeeyer! he tuck in the shirt and wears belt de =_-
so chou!!

den den den went for netball le loh.
okie la, was very lan todae.
played two matches.
won one, lost one.
i tin i rrly suck as a player todae.
den amanda still try to bluff me, telling me tt mrs lim says i play well.
haha.
tt dai dai, i noe my own performance la dear. haha
well, den came home cooked cabbages for dinner. haha.
so happy can. den eat loh, aya, tired le la.
need to rest.
must wake up at 4.30 tml to mug for bio tml.
well, nite. (:

haha.
i'm so darn tired now.
can barely keep my eyes open.
but well, i shall for the sakfe of my pimples.
haha.
hafta wait for mama to poke em nicely and squeeze out all the pus.
woo. :P

so meanwhile, i shall blog.
school's a bit on the sian side todae.
cuz it's wed, meanin' tt the week is ending and and.. june hols are coming.
woo mama. (: i'm definitely v happy on thinkin about it.

den todae sch.. shan't tok about it.
nth much oso.
oh, got screamed by gordon's fucked up GP cher.
tt pregnant lady.
she is one fucker man.
cuz mui hia suddenly wanted to vomit so we rushed into the nearest ladies, which was the teacher's toilet.
when we came out, the fuckin cher was like screaming at the top of her lungs: WHAT R U ALL DOING IN THERE?!? IT"S A TEACHERS' TOILET!
den we of cuz yelled beck, she was vommiting!
den intead of apologsin for screamin at us, she treated as nth had happen.
fucking woman. =_-

den left sch earli for sea carnival heats.
i rejected the gurl for she asked us if our clas wanna to take part in the canoe relay. haha.
crappy. :P
den when it's reaching our turn, it started to pour like siao!
haha, den spent the whole rainy noon escaping frm the rain.
oh, letttie came. haha. we crapped as usual. it's nice to have her beck. (:
den jen jen left us while the rest for us head to leisure park for ban mian.
haha, den li yan gong gong followed us to lp den she realised tt she have to rush home arh! den tt poor gurl have to spend her $ on cab fare.
den we waited for benny damn long can till we cannot tahan liao den we went to eat.
waited for 40mins. haha
den after finished eating he oso haben reach yet.. =_-
called like siao
den after like 30 mins after eating, he smsed beck.
went to carry his stuff for him, den settled him down to eat his ban mian den crapped.
till 8.45pm lidat. =_-
den walked all the way beck to kallang mrt. =_-
far can. =_-
den den... head home loh.
okie, i carn stand properly just now,
so shagged todae, though i din do anything
well, need to sleep liao.
nite. =)

oh. had a heart-wrenching day todae too.
haha, was walking with jie yin to leisure park,
den jie yin spotted a grasshopper on the floor.
den we gathered ard it.
haha it's soo huge loh compared to a normal grassie.
den i started throwing sticks on it.den denise did tt and jie yin too.
apparently it din hop away.
it just move its legs.
i thin its injured liao la.
den we decided to leave it alone.
but there were people walking towards it.
den at 1st there was three guys, we were staring at them,
so i think they knew tt there was somehting on the floor,
so they avoided tt part of the road.
den a couple came walking back,
they were apparently too engrossed in their coversation den tt gurl stepped on the poor lil' grassie!
mejie yin n denise screamed when we saw tt.
i felt the pain can.
den when benny n us walked beck, we saw the dead grassie.
with it's body stucked to the ground and its legs detached.
poor guy.
i hope it gets a better life next time.
yah, God Bless.

nananana
nanananan..
hey...............
GD BYE!
(tuaght by benny; his class' song)

boo boo boo.
todae sucks.
i'm so friggin tired. haha. (:
can't rrly open my eyes.
think my vison is gettin worse =(

ahh, civis class todae is crappy.
taught them how to row the boat tml.
technically is just tell, but my speech rrly sucks,
so i hope they do noe wad i;m talking about.
haha. hope the boat moves tml.
i'm sittin with my lao po.
i wanna sit all the way back, so tt i can scream at hu-ever hu stops rowing.
=_-


ahh, den maths was damn funny.
li yan tried to teach me trigo.
haha. my free-maths tuition cher.
my concentration span damn lan lah. haha.
kept turning to tok to amanda n jen jen,
and still, did a lot of careless stuff, ha.
kept leaving out some stuff in the calculation.
haha, den when li yan go thru the paper with me,
she went like, this one memorize. this one oso memorize, this memorize, memorise. blah blah. haha. =P

tee hee.
den chem tutorial damn sian. haha.
den chem lecture.. ZzZzz. (:
den den chinese lesson made me sleepy,
my eyes are damn tired. i can't open them.
den she ask me read the passage. haha.
i tin i read like weiliang.
ahh screw! NOOOOo! SCREW. =(

den den bio lecture. haha.
shit. toh chose me to do the human presentation he wants to show to the rest for the next lecture.
damn sia suey can. =_-
den break le!! haha.
went to canteen to have malay food. yummy can. (:
was eating the choc bits manda bring when nua nua walked past.
den jen jen went: nua nua spotted.
den she started turning her head to his direction, and screamed: NUA NUA!
den manada screamed: that wad yuan de!
den he din turn n see but his fren did.
den he told him lah, pointin at us. =_-
damn leh, i tin my gang damn sia suey. haha

den after that, i kinda like see him everywhere loh.
he was walking here n there, while they were eating the onion biscuit. haha. so horrible can. so smelly. =(

ahh, den i missed toh sms so we wasted a lot of time contactin each other. haha.
den saw nua nua again la. his class was just beside mine.
den we were discussing about the db stuff.
haha, den went for pe.
crap a lot. was playing with the inclined pull-ups. haha.

den went home le. (:
was at the bus stop.
den saw tt cchs guy. haha. zi yang i tin and tt gayish guy.
haha, zi yang ask me dun be so thickskinned when all i did was to try to get drinks frm him. haha.
den tt gayish guy v funny la.
was like talking to him.
haha. (:

well, den reach home sleep le. (:
neta study now.
shall not type more.
i noe this entry suck. haha.
well, (:
nitez. (:

okie, was pretty shagged all day todae.
dun ask me why, i dunoe
i shdn't be so tired out.
but i dunoe why. =(
sometimes i just get upset with myself cuz i'm tired.
yah, i'm forever tired except on sundays! (:

my alarm clock went off at 4.30am.
i'm supposed to wake up for the meeting but i failed to.
benny tried to pull me up from the bed
by smsing twice n calling once.
tough luck benny
u need to try harder.
u got a lousy member here. haha.
shall try waking up at 4.30 tml again.
someday i'll make it.
trust me! :P

okie, todae got off at the pretty bad start.
it's cool to have dad making breakfast for me and driving me to sch,
but it's a sure NO NO thing to not see nua nua in the morning. hahaha.
no la it's a bad thing when u got bad (i mean rrly bad) tummyaches. =(
upon reaching sch, i chiong to the toilet le.
den it's still earli
so i decided to walk to the bus stop to meet da rest.
i walk loh, den saw jen jen n chui ying waitin there.
as chui ying is sufferin frm the same fate as me (she's havin tummyache) they went in 1st.
den after waitin for not too long, my tummy aches again.
i tried to bear with it but goosebumps are popping up
and i can't make it le cuz i head beck to sch, for the toilet. haha.
so i failed to wait for chris n manda,
so i mean wad's the pt of going outa sch in the 1st place.
i felt stupid can. ha.

okie, it was raining le, so we went to our classes,
was going to the locker after leaving my bag in class alone,
den li yan came n walked with me.
thanks dear. haha.
wasn't rrly in the mood to tok cuz i'm tired n my tummy is rrly bad. =(
den on the way, saw lu jun behind her was nua nua loh.
den said hi to lu jun, li yan tot i said hi to nuanua.
ahah.
den saw amanda wandering around happily
with her ponytail swingin to and fro. haha. so funny can.
den li yan screamed for her, she no reply de. =_-
den we decided to just follow her la.
i think she's sleepwalking sia.
haha. tt dai dai president. haha. :P

oh, den went for gp.
tt hock loon damn jian can?
indirectly 'forced' us to write the UN family GP essay
den he return us our fac paper.
fucking hell loh he.
he say: it's a one to one trade.
trade my ass arh.
den i anyhow write la cuz rrly tired. haha.
haha, den chiong wan leh! (: den got beck.
guess wad?
blardy hell, i actually passed my test!
HAHAHAHAHHHHAHahaHHAHAHahHAHahaHAHahhhahahahHHAHaha.
call me crazy.
this is my 1st passed test.
i actually got the highest in my gang.
woo-h00.
only got 50%.
got both 25/50 for the essay and p2. (:
but i'm more than satisfied can.
woo mama. (:

den went bio lecture loh, oso dunoe wad toh toking about.
den i v sian, thehead cannot stick to the neck le loh,
it'll slant to my shoulder. =_-
now i noe why nua nua listen to lecture everytime the head rest on his shoulders de. haha.
den i start to shake my legs loh,
den when lecture wan end tt time,
the gurl beside me turned to me and said:
can u start shaking ur legs? the chairs... =_-
den i was like oh.. i'm sorry.
and the thing is tt i'm not the least sorry at all. haha.
damn it la.
she deprived my freedom of shaking my legs.
but it's okie, i'm a gd gurl, i think for others. hahah. =_-

den bio lab,
i realised tt i din bring my lab pract worksheets loh,
so i got nth to do.
got the hydrilla leaves (a whole bunch)
oberved them under the microscope.
den meanwhile me n jie yin play with the basin water.
we placed our beakers between under the taps,
and on our taps to the minimum amt of turns whereas the water comes out drop by drop.
we were competing whether hu's big big beaker will get filled up 1st. haha.
she won but her tap was running faster loh,
plus i tot of this game can. (so i deserve some credit)
haha.
den toh came, he saw the taps turning and turn mine off.
i was like: MR TOHH!!! me having competition leh!
ahha.
den he apologised and said i'm childish.
haha.
den got xtra hydrilla leaves ma, so me n jie yin, stuff it in a beaker
n start pouring methyl blue,salt solution,iodine and all the many different flavours of hand soap in it.
den we stirred and wait for it to staturated.
den she was writin up, i go nth to write up,
den i go observe the soaked dirty leaves.
actualli oso looks the same under the microscope,
luckily toh nv see us doing tt. haha. (:

den maths lec,
we sat behind nua nua and gang,
they specially resevred a seat for m so tt i'll sit directly behind nua nua.
the thing is tt no good sia.
1stly canot see whether his handwriting nice o not.
2ndly, canot see the way he writes.
3rdly canot see the direction of his paper. straight o nt.
4thly canot wad he tok about.
5thly, his hair was standing so tall and straight tt i carn see the screen. hahah. =_-

den over le, went for chinese.
mdm twu v nice.
she let me rest cuz she see me v shagged.
haha. she still ask me if i'm tired o not.
i said yesh, den she let me rest. haha. (:
luckily i copied the rite person's work (denise's)
or else i must do corrections during her lesson. haha.

den maths le, can tired can.
oso duneo wad she doing so i only her summary den wait for time to pass cuz i'm so blardy hungry n tired.
oh den she returned our maths fac test too.
hahahahahahHHAHAHHAHHAHahahHAhaHAhahaHAhaHahahHAhAHHAAHhah.
holy cow! guess wad? i passed yet again! (:
got 16/22. which is not too bad for a start.
but i can get 18 de loh, cuz i'm careless.
my 1st line was (2-3x) = blah blah..
den 2nd line was (2x-3) = blah blah..
ah!! jiamin, ure a sucker man!
den after sch le, chiong to downstairs pei jie yin sell her kacang puteh.
oso no1 buy.
i wanted to cope de, but all seniors are there canot cope.
so disgusting can? i wanna eat oso canot! =_-

den after earning 3 bucks or so, end le,
went to look for amanda.
she just finished PW,
we left our bag in library den walk to my home to get pe tee n shorts for net ball later.
haha.
den she slpt on my bed for 15 mins den go le.
was walkin back la, den realise canot make it le,
the library will sure close at the rate we are walking. den take bus 9 loh,
chiong up le den realise my bottle was not in my bag.
so gan chiong can.
den rush to the last class we went, saw mui hia oso lookin for her bottle,
found hers and mine in the class.
haha, we're absent-minded peeps. =P

den went for netball.
was selection day.
the thing is must run 2.4km.
den chiong another 800m.
den after tt do twice the shuttle run non-stop.
was like dying when running 2.4
so fucking long arh.
i run like the 5th round i tot end le, den the senior say haben had to run one more. haha.
reach at 12.49mins or 14.49mins if i'm not wrong.
den for 800m, i ran for 3mins plus.
haha.
happy can.
ran like fuck.
den shuttle run is sucky, got only 20.22. i hate myself. =(
den end le.! so ahppy den go home le.
waitefor bus damn long.
reach home bathe, eat dinner watch tv, copy bio lab pract and anyhow do chem tutorial. haha. (:
okie la, li yan waitin for me to publish.
shall stop here. (:
ciao.

i need time.
to get u off my mind.
and sometimes i may bother you,
try to keep in touch with you.
even ask too much of you from time to time.

went kallang for dragonboat.
kay, i felt damn extra,
cuz every dragonboater is with their class
except me.
den they ask me why i come.
like i extra lidat
like i'm nt supposed to be there lidat
=( haix.
and darren said: you shi u! (it's you again)
ayo.... den i replied canot meh. =_-
haha, next time when i see him i must say'you shi ni!' =D

den went there loh, walking 1st with leah, den with shu hui them.
when ella oso asked me why i here.
int he end, i landed up coxing with ying chun.
coxing is so damn fun can! (:
okie, i coxed for syarbil's class, hu's civic rep is the waist size 24 guy hu sat beside me y'dae.
haha.
i dun tin he remembered me but haha. so funny.
his class a lot of malays arh.
i dun like. =(
not cuz i racist but cuz my english suck and i'll show my sucky-ness when i teach them how to row.
haha.
wich is true la, it happened, they knew i suck in english. =_-

well, den i got 5 bucks frm ella for coxing.
me n ying chun split it. (: 2.50 each.
den i din bathe den go off le.
watched the guys do their pull-ups.
haha, alan pulled desmond's pant when h was doing, and his briefs showed.
bleah, luckily i din see anything , i just saw alan pulling the shorts den next desmond tryin to beat alan up.
crazy guys.

ha, den met daddy n mummy at bedok to go for sweet potato porridge.
yummy caN! (:
den reach home blog den now wanna sleep le.
haha. (:got nocturnal meeting tml.
4am. -yawns-
must sleep now.
nite pple. (:

-grinx-
i'm happy todae.
for i had enough sleep already!
finally!.
been waiting for this day to come, since last sunday.
haha. :P
will wait for the next sunday for my nice n long slp again.

hmm, forgot to blog that it was cong's burday y'dae.
din rrly remembered cuz he doesn't wanna see me on his auspicious day.
he's like hock.
pple sms him happy birthday, he wun reply a thanks to me.
what's the whole world comin to?
damn.

den sorry to jay jay.
ha, promised him not to tell anyone this,
he doesn't ant this to be famous.
so be it. (:

haha. (:
going for dragonboat later.
the sun like not VERY BIG now loh.
i think i'll kana heat stroke later.
and will prolly look like some 80% cooked crab or lobster tml.
tee hee.
ain't tt cool?

well, i dunoe but seriously, i can;t wait for the hols to come.
i need time.
a lot of time to catch up with my work.
i'm like carrying all the burdens of stuff tt i haben do and i dunoe how to do.
i felt so stuffed up.
so running outa time.
so lousy at time-management.
well, i need a secretary to write up a timetable for me. =_-

i'm outta here.

am so bloddy shagged now can.
my arms are burning now.
(after rubbing counter pain on my aching sore arms)

haha.
the burning was like shit y'dae.
apparently i applied too much,
the skin is like so hot that it burns till the arms become red.
haha, den i tell manda, she say i dai. =_-

okay, todae.
meet the dragonboaters at kallang at 8.
okie, all j1s except for darren. haha.
den they kept suanin' him, :P
spent 4.70 just eating egg suage muffin,orange juice n an apple pie.
den sat there, nth to do rrly, cuz dun have much interactions with the peepz.
den, go trainin le loh,
i was in the whole gurls boat.
mr chew was on it too.
den he v noisy lah.
yak yak yak yak non-stop
he wants us to row 10min non-stop loh,
say what train our endurance.
ahha. dun crap loh, chew.

den he made the whole gurls n whole guys boat to compete.
he made one gurl to row the whole boat n one guy to row his whole boat.
den hu reaches the point 1st, wins loh.
so fucking stupid can?
den i compete with david.
whoa, the boat was damn heavy can.
but but but but,
the hting is.. i WON HIM! hahahahahaah.
i'm the 1st gurl hu won the guys, den next was shu hui.
they say i'm strong, hehe.
i'm happy can.
must thank them for cheering me on when i almost gave up.
was already having muscle aches after gym y'dae
den shi yu was like screaming, i treat u eat twix! hahaa.

den den, rowing was so tough todae, i dunoe why.
but shi yu made me realise smth about me.
when i'm tired during the rowing, i'll just anyhow row.
haha.
it meets more to the eye,
i means that i'll still complete my job whether i'm tired o not! ahha.
no lah, i means when i'm tired, i'm a sucker at doing things.

den after training, went stadium to bathe loh,
spent lotsa times locating the bathroom, cuz they were having NDp reheresals there.
den wehen we enter, the kayakers come out le,
saw nazeem hu pat my head,gordon,pauline n si ge.
yah, si ge damn stylo can.
ahah, so act cool de.
wore baggy all-overs,
baggy yellow tee and baggy knee length pants.

den bathe le, go leisure park had my beloved ban mina,
yummy can! (:
den hafta chiong to the bus stop to take bus to the mrt.
den i forgot where's the bus stop,
had to run back to where they're eating and ask.
haha.

den saw willie, darren n morgan still there.
din tok much la, they were toking about hps.
den waited for the bus damn long can,
waited till the gurls came den the bus come.
=_-

den willie n darren apparently like dun wan me to follow them lidat.
but i just did, duneo how to go to sch in the shortest possible time ma
so i followed them loh,
den kept chasing after them
guys do walk fast. =_-
they only tok to me when we're walking to the interchange.
ha. (:
they're so crappy.
can still remember the forced grin willie made to say HI to me. =_-

den reached school feeling so relieved cuz i'm feeling v weird with them.
ahha, den apparently mdm twu gave the three of us a make-up set, a pair of socks and a sparkling hand gel.
hahaha. so funny.
we were playing these thru-out the performance.
haha, we're aykking so much can.
den james ong the nice nice damn cool cher, told me, we r v talkative, wich i respinded to him tt we wear skirts.
haha.
den i told him a lot of lame stuffs and gave him jie yin's hack sweet.
haha, den he went off le, came beck tt time canot sit next to me le, cuz a guy conquered it.
den tt guy has a waist of around 34 (his pant size
apparently he noes tt we're toking about him.
heck la, so bored at tt time wad.
den jie yin's fren look like benny loh.
my sista.
haha. =p

den so suay loh after the concert,
failed to get the reception food i'm supposed to get.
den my bus came but when i flagged it, the bus waved his hands, signaling NO to me.
and the thing is tt the bus is NOT full.
fucking uncle can?
den i waited for another 15-20 mins for another bus,
this time, i mangaed to get a seat,
and i failed to get down the stop i'm supposed to stop,
so i missed my stop and had to walk beck home. =_-

well, but everythign's fine now la.
i'm so bloody shagged.
still thinkin whether i shd go for big walk with jay tml o not.
dilemma.
i need both sleep n time for my work tml.
yet i carn bear to reject him.
arrhh! =(

*oh, i think hock chuan is a sucker.
he's so what loh. =_-
i smsed him happy birthday on his birthday, normally pple will reply thanks rite? he didn't
after ages ago, he finally msged me y'dae.
asking me aout skill a in chemistry.
i felt like slapping him with full force sia.
hock, what u do take me as?
ur reference book ah?
damn it.

ooh, thanks for massagin my back todae.
hehe,
i love u, jen jen n amanda for this.
(:

hey hey hey hey hey.
so shagged now. zzz.
hmm.. there's training for db tml 9.30.
ha, must go chao chris to meet to go together. (:

den todae was tiring.
was like damn tired in the morning,
okie, jie kb me for settin the alarm clock at 4.30.
haha, cuz i'm supposed to wake up for the meeting.
okie, i carn bring myself to, so i fell aslp.
den benny msged yet again to ensure tt i din overslpt. :P
ha, met jen jen on the bus as usual.

i missed daddy's breakfast, he's in indonesia now.
cuz i had an empty tummy to sch.
den went for pe loh,
supposeky must run 4 rows, but i ran 2 n walked one.
hehe. (:
quite slacky.

den went for gym.
si ge oso there leh! *pei shan!!!* (:
yuan lai si ge is kayak de, but he still white white de.
plus i don like himleh, cuz he's frm st pats'.
eeeeyer!
den i was like quite lonely in the gym lah.
=( all the sea sports pple i oso dunoe.
only noe desmond n kingsley, den kingsley v chao, desmond a bit dao de leh thesedays.
weird :S
was damn lonely la.
den mr chew n kingsley kept buckering, mr chew even threaten to kick kingsley out.
haha. so crappy den si ge n i was like luffing siilently when they argued,
cuz there's only three of us. ahha.
den everyone so dao in there de, all nv tok to me n i dunoe them,
except for one sailing guy, weiliang i tin is cool enuf.
den mr chew wants us to do 4 sets of all the items.
okie la, i find the back strength one the easily den the one arm pulling one v tiring.
but den i'll work hard on it.
oh, the crunches suck too, after si ge finished sittin on it, i took over loh,
i took very long to finish 50 crunches.
doing 20 was like tough hard, i kept pushing myself.
kept psycho-ing myself,
30 more..15 more, 10! 5 more only! haha
den while doing it, alan n tiong puay came!
whee, i'm startin to like them v much.
haha at least alan and tp will tok to me loh! (:
they so nice!
den i saw si ge struggling to do the legs lift-up,
he was shaking v badly when he lift his legs up,
den i ask alan see,
he luffed and say
si ge looks like he's sitting those muscle-reliefing maching. (an muo yi)
haha.
den chew call me si min, den ask me where i'm frm,
said i'm frm db, he say i strong.
den he say db got gurls v weak de.
fuck loh! =_- den i ask got meh.
den he say got got got den crap.
i dun like him for degrading my fellow team mates.
i hate him for that. =(

den kana cheated by ah lek,
he bluffed me n amnda, we went chess room to check if it's available,
den it's empty so we on the aircon, den pull everything out loh to start the tutorial.
den he change venue.
but he seems happy todae lah,
den i was like so fucking hungry,
my tummy was growling so ever loudly,
even li yan heard loh,
everytime it growls, li yan look at me n giggle.
wa liew, damn hungry.
den i scolded my tummy: dun disturb me lah! (mai chao la)
den i tin i said too loudly, ah lek tin i'm tryin to tell him to shuddup. =_-
den he v nice lah, we're all v slpy, dne he let us off earli, den i dragged jie yin to pei me to canteen to buy fish burger.
haha den reach audi, i finished it le, brought my jacket along too! (:
den jie yin wanna go toilet, den nua nua oso going outside ma, den i pei jie yin loh,
den nua nua walk towards the main entrance there,
i oso gong gong follow cuz i forgot there's toilet below the audi.
ahhaah. =_-
den ka kia n gabby sar next to me during bio lecture.
den i stoned thru-out the lecture oso duneo wad he toking about.
ahha. but i'm amazed by the bio show.
haha. =_-

den got gp loh, went air con room (media resource room)
den saw nuam nuam n si ge at the stairs,
si ge ask nuam nuam dun kp so much. =_-
den bio tuorial loh,
toh v monotone, we almost fell aslp loh,
den we begged for break for mins for lunch,
den we chiong down,
i gobbled down 2 more fish burgers n 1 cup of iced coffee.
yum yum,
den tutoriAL finish le, chiong to library to meet si ya n han wen
haha, den tok cocked with han wen there loh,
chit chat. damn funn! (:
den si ya move her place cuz we're disturbing her writin her com.
haha, even han wen agree that my chinese reading suck. =_-
damn! how!!!! =(

den chiong home to finish up my mad murders reading.
damn cool.
i'm damn motivated to sudy hard due to the last story.
i amazed by their madness. truely.
that book gave me the creeps. :/
den slp for the next 1 hr,
wake up dinner den now blog.

boring life hor? =(
but life's lidat.
must study le. (:
campbell... i'm coming! (:
ciao.

shall do 10 push ups lata. (:

aya, felt so hyper now.
and my left leg is having spins n needles.
how cool rite.
urgh. i hate these things.
=(
*ouch*

waassup.
just now, was shitty.
me n manda went TM to meet wei yi n to buy our stuff
all i only wanted is to get cong's present.
in the end, after hours n hours of shopping around,
i ended up buying nothing.
dun ask me why.
it's either the clothes there suck or the prices suck.
saw jun wei sir, han wei, allen nad sun yi. and many many more.
i asked for sun yi's opinion for the tee,
he picked one for me,
i wanted to get it lah, but too bad la, it only left size L loh.
then cong de size.. hai..cannot make it lah.
i hate myself.
den went popular with ah ma,
she bought her suff while i stood dere watching the peter rabbit show.
so cute leh.
furry furball! the tail oso v cute.
canot stand nor squat nor sit can? =D

den den, todae i got a jok frm jen jen.
i luffed until i wanna go crazy can?
haha. the snoopy's sister joke.
hahaha. so hilarious.
den jie yin is v pissed over it.

sometimes, people do drive me crwazy.
i dunoe what they want from me.. =(
when i talk n play with them, they lose, they will cry and tell everyone i bullied them, making everything my fault.
when i learnt not to play with them n keep diam diam about everything, they cry cuz they felt i'm neglecting them.
wa liew eh. =_-
what u want?
so i got amanda to remind me to how to response to such situation.
see? i even plan le.
i dun care le lah.
so next time if u dun wanna play with me, tell me loh.
i shuddup.
100% guranteed.

dun ask me why do i sound so frustrated over these.
luckily i'm a low EQ person,
(wich means i might have high IQ! hehe)
lucky jen jen and li yan has low eq.
amanda told me now why she finally understands that li yan n i click.
cuz everytime i suan her about everything, she oso wun get upset over it, she'll just luff and be a good sport.
i dunoe lah.
i felt so retarded.

*now i noe why ah ma asks dumb qns when she's tired.
now i noe why her mouth pouts when she's tired.
(cuz i did that todae, unknowingly. haha. was shagged)

hey.
jennifer, mai choke my neck arh.
mai so jek arh arh.
tell u arh, my nua nua come n whack u den u noe arh..

u noe hor,
my san-chen-rou de middle oil orh, tt jennifer arh..
hai! hai! hai!
she arh..
CANNOT MAKE IT ARH!
den she still insist that she can make it.
i oso dunnoe why.
think she like my neck v much, (:
i oso like my neck v much. :P

aya, she insisted i shud write abt her,
cuz if only i write abt her, den she'll read my blog.
so bhb rite?!?! hahaha.
she scoldin me yao siew now.
oso dunoe why, but i think she looks more like a yao siew den me.
but she smiling now lah, think she rrly look like bai chi.
hai, all my frens.
all cannot make it arh! just like me. so nice rite. =D

hai, stuck in the com lab now.
supposedly to be doing our presentation,
but the com stucked arh, cannot read the diskette,
(plus, if it can read the disk, the powerpoint wun run oso lah, cuz it cocked up, we realised it longgggg ago! hee)
so it's like free computer time for us now.
so mabbi i din need to come onilne at nite later.
so tt i can spend more time doing my organic chemistry, wich i need to master.
plus, my trigo, i think i suck in my studies arh!
but it's okie, i'll try hard to do the best i can loh,
haha, tt's a good attitude eh?

todae was greattt! hehe.
except for the cinese period, cuz we need to write chinese compo,
i wrote on the unluckiest day i had, wich i dun haf. :P ahha.
lucky me! =)

todae was like damn cool loh.
dad made me breakfast. whee. he rules man.
he even washed the dishes for me last nite.
cuz i was damn tired.
i think i suck as a daughter.
i accidentally ask him to go n die y'dae.
haha. sorry dad, wasn't thinking last nite.
was shagged, i love ya.
(din think he'll get to read this, but well.. he's my dad k.(:)

den he fetced me to school todae! =)
den kheng hong gave me 1 whole packet of twixs n mars.
got 5 pieces inside.
li yan gave me 3.
i gave some to people.
ate the rest of cuz.
whee, i love them man, they rocks. =)
i gave people the chocky giant stick todae!! hehe. (:
wrote jie yin, amanda, hui xian n k.h poastcards.
hehe.
i think todae is like some frenship day. (:

oh, spent last nite slacking away, onilne with the db gurls.
i dunoe why la,
but i felt so left out in db trainig always.
mabbi it's the loniless that made me wanna quit.
i dunoe why, but i felt as if they feel that i'm faking.
ha. heck lah.
lalalal.
i still love netball. (:

ella said that she will only select 1 left rower loh.
i noe that it wun be me, but still, i'll try my best to get in the 12 men boat thingy.
i think my strokes suck.
i carn stretch n dip cuz my energy is like always exhausted. :P
but i'll try my best i believe i can n will perfect my strokes.
haha. (:

haha. li yan n jen jen singing the buddhist death march for me.
well, the com is up n okie now.
jiamin signing offf. (:

joke of da day:

there's rumours about me having a crush on soon huat.
hahaha.
his gang say de.
so funny.
i tot i heard smth about it yesterday when i passed him the chilli bottle.
den li yankana asked by jian yong if i have a crush on my jie mei o not.
hahahaha.
so funny lah.
i haben even taken a glance at him yet.
oh well, will lah, someday somehow, when i'm free.
haha

i was lyk lying on jiamin shoulder slping .... hrmz ... realli find jiamin gd .. haha .. coz she always pei he wo .... forgive my childish act ... haha .... was lyk telling her to carry me yest after pe ... =P childish riTe =x ... oya .. den after tt wake up to chit chat wif dem .... den decided to listen to my md n hab a sing-along session wif jiamin ... haha ... both of us were lyk ... rapping the edison song ... lolz ... he juz so shuai n the song is juz so cute =).. den mdm twu bu shuang ... coz she complain we make alot noise ... =x

haha.
actually, i'm not good.
only sizhao noes my true colours.
shh! =P
haha. =X

hey hey hey
*smells self*
i stink like the kallang river.
haha.
okie, it's becuz i just had db training now
and i din bathe before i come home cuz
there's really a longggg queue for the toilets in the stadium.
suxxxyy!
haha.

school's okie todae.
jie yin cried again.
bleah.
dun ask me why.
she just felt left out, cuz we just din tok to her.
-sigh-
when i'm engaged in smth, how am i supposed to noe that anyone is neglected or wad. =_-
i felt so bad lah, okie?
aya, i oso dunoe why she got so many tears while i dun haf any,
suxxxxxy.

den den, maths fac test suck lah i think i can just get borderline pass or i flunk it lah.
den i was like grumbling about db training wich will take place later la.

the training was slacky cuz ella n zhi qi din come.
but the kayakers n sailers came loh.
den they learn how to row.
dey compete with the db team,
n the db team actualli lost thrice.
db pple are demoralised enuf le loh, de the asshole hav to rub it in.
fucking hell rite.
i felt sad oso. dunoe why.
now i noe why db rawks.
i'm beginning to love it.
tee hee.

i wasn't in the boat that was competing.
was in the boat with the newbies, as in sailers.
they suck loh,
all so heavy den dun wanna row.
me,kat,xiao hui,tong,alan rowed like siao to get the whole boat moving.
so suxy.
i was the pacers, with kat.
but i can feel the weight of the boat gettin heavier cuz they stopped rowing.
den xiao hui was so pissed with them.
lol, i corrected my strokes todae.
shall improve more on it. hehe.
i'm happy lah. (:

den den, training was rrly slacky todae.
so i'm happy. hehe. i'm s-ucker k.
den den, after that, db pple had meeting,
zhi qi came den he chided them for losing out.
it's rrly heartbreaking to me, nevertheless to him loh.
i loved all the talking though.
it left me thinking much.

kheng hong read my daily book todae.
he siao kia lah.
he even add comments in it.
he sound sad writing it.
man i wrote him a card though.
just like to jie yin n manda. hehe.

saw benny while rowing.
he was canoeing.
hehe.
sms-ed to tell me my hair looks nice.
what nice pig rite! =D

well, shall go bathe n mug.
laters!

they say dragonboating is the most stupid and brainless sports in the whole universe, u dun even think about the wind direction or anything, all u need to know how to row. but people joined dragonboat because they know it's all about teamwork, when u win, u share the glory n happiness with the rest of the 23 people in ur boat and when u lose, u will not to be crying alone, 23 more people will cry with u.

*looks at clock*
damn damn damn.

time to snooze.
nites people. (:

ooh.. guess what?
jie yin wun not like to noe that we've been bringin foodstuff to school todae, cuz she din come to school.
had some medical apoointment eh?
but but!!!

i saved her one tiwx.
*brr-ing brr-ing*
so sweet of me right, jie yin?
den she always say i everytime bully her.
i oso dunoe why.
hehe.

must go shop for chips n biscuits someday,
li yan oso *hinted* to me liao.
i'm the only one hu haben contribute to the food 'market'
no time n money to purchase food for u guys.
but i will.
at least try la. (:
thursday can?
i bring on friday, if nt goes wrong. hehe.

tml got maths test.
i hope i'll pass.
i'll try my best.
note to myself: don freak out.
note to others: do pray.

oh. i dun tin i'll be going for nocturnal club meeting lata.
too shagged to pull myself away from the bed later, i prognosticate.
forgot to how spell it liao.
haha. must go to dictionary.com to check. =_-
well well,
bedtime.
dun stop me.

i desperately need sleep.
i felt so retarded without it.

try searching for the sparkle,
not just the flaws.

hehehehehehe.
-giggles like a siao kia-

todae was shit n all da lovingness.
okie, let's touch on the shitty part.
i just passed my chinese oral.
ya, how can it be rite.
i got a gift in crapping n got a distinction in o lvl's oral.
heh. =(
i'm so upset can.
cher say i can still can pass, but my onversation part is really v lousy.
she say really canot make it sia.
think i jus passed.
shit leh.
she ask me to speak more chinese.
i was like wtf! i'm always speaking in mandarin.
i think i rrly suck
i carn read in chinese/english, neither i can i speak perfectly in them.
shitty.
suddenly, i hate myself. =(

but but the good thing is early in the morning,
papa made me breakfast, yah malt stuff.
den manda gave me the big packet of twix! hehehee!
den i consume it all of cuz. yummy can! =D
was watin for chris mah,
my ka kia came over and gave me 5 small pieces of twix! hehe
den during civics, li yan gave me yet 3 more small pieces of twix.
liew, i'm so blessed! =_
felt so loved can.
hehe.
i finshed everything loh.
=D
*rubs tummy*
i'm gettin fat man! =D

den den, nua nua styled n gel-ed his hair todae again.
so ugly leh. =_-
eeeyerr!

-sigh-
todae sucks pretty bit.
i din noe if i fell aslp last nite.
but i woke up at 3.45 lidat
den sms benny.
tot can meet the blardy nocturnal meeting.
sms he din reply so i called.
he was sleeping loh tt piG!
den after that, he went beck to sleep.
i did a bit on VA den slpt oso.
was rrly sleepy n shagged todae in school.
so unhappy over everything cuz i'm tired.
hehe.
wells, haha, ah ma v happy about her 'dai dai' club.
i definitely dun wanna be in it.
haha.

tml GOT DB training.
wish me luck.
my blister bleed leh.
like how worse can i get
i'ts reddish brown now.
i mean where got blister lidat one!
I'm gonna try my best tml again.
paddle hard, use up all my energy.

8...9...10...
stretch out!
pull hard!

oh, forgot to add.
i wurve my daddy!
he made me breakfast todae!
i got to eat some malt + wheat + ovlatine powder thingy todae.
it's so darn delicious!
yummy.
i love my dad. =D
do you love yours?


*please say yesh!*

whee.
my lefty middle finger hurts like fuck.
haha. such agony eh? :P

todae todae,
woke up, realise it was 6.10 liao.
oops. so sorry to benny sia.
promised him to wake up at 3 de.
after all, i'm memeber no. 3 in the nocturnal club.
i think i suck at a member there. lol.
immediately, grabbed my fone,
realising, there's 2 missed calls, 4 messages recieved.
boy oh boy. lol.
felt so silly myself.
it's funny when i think about how come no1 in the room wake up due to the noise made by benny's sms-es and calls.
haha.
i think everyone at home sleeps like the same.
we sleep like a log. (:

den reached school le loh,
we waited for ah ma for a while den morning assembly liao.
wah, den i got a lot of food frm pple for breakfaz!
i felt so blessed with my peepz.
i think they love me as much as i love them.
-giggles-
got red bean bread frm amanda, bear cookies frm jen jen, 2 time chocolate bar frm jie yin. hehe.
eh, li yan, *hint hint* hahahahaha. =X
den the next thing is saw nua nua with his un-gel-ed hair.
haha. so cute leh him =D
okie la, he looks better with his un-gel-ed hair. hehe.
den went for lessons le.
Gp was cool and funny.
haha. the computer cocked up. whee.
so nice rite?
but bad for li yan.
she stayd up till 2am to do this, den todae dun nid.
so ke lian... =(
but nvm la, she nice nice de, wun hot rite. :P hehe.
den he started crapping on the death penalty again.
so funny.
i started logging the faulty computer with all sorta names.
i tried: student, haha, nuanua.
the thing is that the computer screen is put on the big big OHT screen.
when i typed nua nua, my gurl gang like not loud loh.
mr lim turned out and see, luckily i deleted it fast,
den i told him, cher, canot lah. lol.
so henggg. :P
den we crap crap crap loh.
jen luffed at mr lim stupid story about a man killing another man who is found tokin to his wife on the sofa, realised that the man he just killed as her long lost uncle in china. haha.
den amanda luffed when mr lim is thinking.
i think she luffed becuz of his expression la. i oso dunoe why.
all v high todae.
except poor li yan.
poor gurl. chill yah?

actually i thhink i'm rrly useless n sucy.
cuz i din contribute to the blardy GP project.
i'm so sorry that li yan have to do so much.
i'm so stupid.
i'm so useless.
*especially after dragonboat trainings*

den bio lecture, sat beside gabby and li yan.
gabby was like so sleepy.
i kept poking him to keep him awake.
hhaha.
pinched him too.
it's his birthday todae.
gave him two of my red bean buns.
yum yum. (:
den throughout the whole lecture oso dunoe what mr toh toking about.
haha. lucky i'm not the only one. :P
den den, went for bio lab loh.
did on cheek cells,
got a lotof cheek cells sia.
i'm so happy!! whee! 1st time sia.
last time in mjr, try so many times oso dun have de. =_-
must use other's saliva den got. hehe.

haha. so thrilled lah. :P
den den, went for maths lec in audi.
on the way, (was chiongin to audi to put my bag den go toilet),
kana stopped by some aunite, she asked me to be a kind soul and help siew ling into the audi.
hha. den toked to siew ling loh.
she haben forget me leh! hehe. so sweet! =P
den walk walk walk n talk talk talk.
den reach le, to my horror, OBS started lesson le.

den i realise ah ma dem book seats for me le.
=_-
and it's behind nua nua and gang.
haha.
ah ma sit behind nua nua.
i sat behind nuam nuam.
den li yan was stucked with ka kia.
he dun wanna let her come sit with us.
so throughout the whole lecture,
jen jen was eating her plain bicuits,
me trying hard to listen to OBS,
and ah ma n jie yin listenin to nua nua n gang's conversation.
nua nua v noisy arh they tell me de.
haha.
ah ma tell me he asked the rest about the oral he's having later.
he said he dunoe how he pass o lvl chinese one.
den said he had chinese tuition in the past.
ahah. i think he suck leh,
which chinese goes for chinese tuitions.
okie, many does, but i think v waste $$.
den i found out tt nuam nuam isn't sinaporean,
cuz nua nua asked if his country nid to take SAT o not.
aya, v noisy lah.
nuam nuam tok english v fast n luan,
i thought he speaking in malay sia.
haha.

den den, went offf le,
got chinese oral test,
sucks sia.
tml is my turn.
i'm the first to have my oral taken tml.
eeeyer!
i suck at reading in chinese. =(
dun like arh.. eeeyerr. =(
wish my luckies. (:

den den, maths, slacked there lah.
den off le.
went for lunch.
had two fish fillet burger (YUMMY!) n 1 cup of coffee.
den went to library n slacn tok to jen jen about nua nua n that *croack*.
we were debating on who's shuai-er.
haha.
den den we go find ms puah and ask all qns, den here i am,
back at home.

well, must go and run leh.
it's been 3 days since i long ran.
need to release stress.
boo! =P

must chiong bio tutorial later.
must sms jen to remind her to bring her med for tml.
must wake up to attend meeting at 3.
must study.
must recover frm blisters.
must drink more water.
must heal my left cheek ulcer (it hurts so ever badly)
must love self.
must let ma poke my pimples later.
must pray for everyone.
must sign out now or else, i got no time to finish everything typed above.

ciao! =)

i really love u guys,
u know rite? hehe. :P
*hugs rrly tightly*

Your Existing Situation
Sensuous. Inclined to luxuriate in things which give gratification to the senses, but rejects anything tasteless, vulgar, or coarse.


Your Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.


Your Desired Objective
Her need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes her restless and she is driven by her desires and hopes. May try to spread her activities over too wide a field.

Your Actual Problem
Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.

Your Actual Problem #2
The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of illusory or meaningless activities.




well,
*ponders*
maybe. (:

=(
i'm so dead now,
felt so bad now.

okay.
dragonboat training really sucks todae.
everyone had low morale. =(
den i was at the second seat.
so, i carn afford to be slower.
was like urgh!! =_-
den den, the seniors scold me for the bad skill of paddling,
cause they changed the way of paddling,
so i carn rrly cope with the new way in such short time.
den summore, the pacers all pace differently,
but ella thought i row different pacing,
den scold me oso.
i think i really suck at rowing. =(

after the training, i wanted to leave,
but rest wannna learn coursing,
so i stayed to learn frm clara loh.
i was in the boat with her, shi yu n some 04s13 people.
with cheryl's crush.
i think he v weak leh. lol.
very fun lah with them.
they all so cute de.
haha. (:

den sucks cuz we carn bathe,
the stadium is having some soccer match,
called dad but he din pick up,
so pissed, went home myelf loh.
den sit mrt, stinking with sweat n seawater + drain water,
very hungry loh, (the whole day had porridge n 1 yakult only)
den somemore, i walked almost alone (cuz dun rrly noe leah n her fren) and walk to mrt station loh. so far.. =(
if i noe the gurls dun wan take bus to mrt,
den i sure go with renny them de to eat kfc. =(

well, *just finish dinner*
i chiong the food into my mouth like siao.
damn damn damn hungry. =(
ahh, so shagged now.
tml still got land training,
and my noctural club.
damn!

must go do reading log now le.
ciao.


*oh, i saw shi ming at the bus top near temasek sec,
was in daddy's car* (:

awwwww. =(
my body's aching all over.
my back is aching, it's a relief to sit straight.
my fingers and pams are red with blisters. esp my middle finger. =(
my arms are sore with muscles aches.
ahh, and the bad bad bad bad bad thing is, i still got training later!
what de toot rite?

bleah. been neglecting much suffs thesedays.
life's so busy.
i missed running, for almost 2 days le.
i missed studying, as usual. haha.
i missed my sleeping, i'm so darn tired.
so shagged.

yah, shal go sleep more baby.
catch ya laters.

ahh!
wasted yet another day, =P
i'm so dead.

okay, just came beck frm school.
stardust. hehe.
it's crap lah. though entertaining
(partly cuz we entertained ourselves thru endless talks, gossips n screaming)
it' nt too bad for a 2 bucks tic. (:
jerome got 3rd for his solo act.
i like it's much nicer den the winner loh.
haha. just that jerome's chinese pronunication is arrhh..
he rrly shud have sang jay chou's song instead of tt huang hun.
but dude it's good though. (:
if i know that the duet got only 4 grps, isure go n sing with manda sia.lol.
we'll conquer the rest n get 1st with wu ding and nua nua dancing in the beckground. lol.
okie, we spent our times, screaming! so darn good can.
i screamed: YOU"RE SO CUTE!! to cheryl after they scream her name.
hahah. so funny. people kept turning beck n look at us.
i think we're attracting attention sia. :P
den we spent our time talking about the worst scenario that will happen when u're performing.
haha. was hilarious can. so funn! (:

okie, before that, was fuming.
haha.
ma dun wanna iron my pink tee for me!
so i finshed up the twix wich i specially bought for my ma in siglap 7-11.
that shop rrly good cuz got sell big packet of twix.
lol. i'm happy. (:
so i ironed my tee in the end.

oh, ma just fell down n slip down the stairs. =_-
(just like jen jen did during the performance)
she slipped when she was mopping the stairs.
so poor thing,
but she blamed me for her fall.
cuz i was talking to her at that time lah. :S

den morning, went marine parade to meet chris n the dragonboat pple for breakfast.
ate macdonald's suage muffin
(is the sauage = chicken?? oh no.)
yum yum leh! but fattening, oily loh =_-
den head to kallang for training liao.
haiz, bad luck.
i felt so outcasted. =(
like so pai seh. so long nv go le, den suddenly pop out.
even eric ask me. =X just like yin jie,clara n xiao hui did.
boo. =(
den training.
now i think it's not that hard.
it's shit when u're rowing only.
ur spine aches, your butt hurts and blisters start showing up on ur palm.
the worst of all is that ur arms aches like siaoo and it's so darmn cramped le but u carn stop, cuz u simply carn.
by doing so, you're letting down the people in ur boat.
they're struggling as much as u but they din stop.
so why shd u?
dragonboat = teamwork. (:
okie, so i acquired 3 blisters on my left palm n awful sores on my butt.
aww. =(
it's even more trainings to go.
tml's one. bleah!
it's not tt tuff when u're doing it.
but the thinking makes it worse.
now den i realise why i quitted db.
it's not becuz i find it tuff.
it's becuz i hate the atmosphere there.
so awkward. always felt so outcasted.
badd.. *shakes head*
den ate ban mian loh.
hehe. i'm satisfied with ban mian,
it always make me happy.
yummy! (:

what else?
ooh.. i wasted the WHOLE DAY todae.
i think i'm a sucker at managing time.
shall go bathe n maybe mug.
or else.. shall sleep.
hehe. i think i better stick to sleeping.
whee. (:

dedicated to my frenz (esp manda n sanjay)

man,
it's natural to feel lonely.
though no one wants to lonely.

but dear, you must understand that it's not always true that,
when you feel lonely, you are lonely.
because you tend to forget how much people love you when u think that u're not loved.

please,
for a moment,
think of me. (:

i'm right there.
there - in the smallest piece of your heart.
i'll be there, till your body is dead and your soul is gone.
just right there, supporting you and loving you.

always.
i promise. (:

"Hold On"

This world
This world is cold
But you don't
You don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear


But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through


Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know


Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all
Hold on
And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to no more


But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through


Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on


What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?


Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on


dedicated to cong.
we'll hold on.
i will at least. (:

wahahahahahahhaahahahahahahhahaa.
i felt so disgustedd.. eeeyeeerrr!

guess who i saw on the 10pm chinese news?
haha.
i think only li yan happy over this,
i saw mao qiu kor kor! HAHA =X
he's crapping on the star-seeing exhitbion.
saying that the star he saw was a black spot.
i was like finding something in the kitchen,
den walk out, saw some guy who looks like mao qiu,
den i went beck kitchen, den realised it was HIM!
den i ran beck to watch the tv.
haha.

(this post is for li yan's beenfit!)
-winks winks-

man!
i missed running todae.
overslept. =(
boo.
now i feel so horrible and stuff.
so darn hungry oso.
*feels tummy growling*

urgh.
todae's tiring.
had spe in the morning, badminton.
hmm, it's okay lah. was playing with it lu jun.
den after that, amanda's tummy was aching.
oso dunoe wassup with it.
so we changed our tee den go for lectures with amanda grabbing ur tumy in pain.
so ke lian lidat. pain pain pain. =(
somemore is amanda, she pain, i dun like.
den during english tutorial, she buay tahan liao,
den we tell watermelon she pain loh,
on her way to the sick bay, she cry sia.
den me n li yan chiong to canteen buy bread for her.
(we think its gastric)
den the bread hot hot de leh, the fillet just fried de!
i feel liao, so hungry, so i bought two.
one for me n one for her.
den on our way, i eat loh.. lol.
share with jie yin n li yan. yummy leh hot fish fillet. :P
den aya, jen jen say must buy hot milo for amanda,
den they no money with them, so i go with her to buy loh.
den on my way beck, i buy another fillet to munch on.
( so i ate two, damn! i'm so hungry! =( )
den den den, let amanda sleep on my tummy den etertain her.
haha. with li yan's adventure with mao qiu.
so useless one leh li yan.
lol. she canot bring herself to say nice nice n funny tins about mao qiu n her de. :P
den i tell them about nua nua's adventure loh.
den i got nua nua's hp no leh! heee! =_-
den i saved his hp no in all their hp no.
(actually up to that time, i still haven seen him lah)
cuz i thought the adventure over liao, den dun need look and find fault in him liao.
who knows, no him = no life leh!
lol. i mean, v sian lah.
plus jie yin dun tok about hong hong n li yan on mao qiu de.
so not fun =(

den after much crapping, amanda okie le.
den mr toh nv comtodae.
a bit bad lah, cuz i spent the time eating n toking.
den we went canteen loh,
on the way walked past nua nua.
he was toking n walking with some ger lah.
den they say loud loud: jiamin! nua nua walk with gurl leh!
=____- i think if he dunoe anything, he must be stupid sia.

den went canteen, jing zhong class got pple birthday den i got free cake.
den tml oso desmond's birthday so i give my piece of cake to him loh.
den sing birthday song for him.
oh.. den i almost dropped the cake on nua nua's fren hands. lol.
den den fold straw stars oso. so give desmond lo. (:

den slack the whole day in the library,
accompanying amanda cuz she dun have key. =_-
hai.. reach home den sleep like siao liao.
i yawned at the sight of maths, in the library,
i haben even do it loh,
den li yan say oh no, i haben do den yawn liao.
but the thing is always yawn when i see work.
damn. =_-


den was pretty pissed with jie yin oso lah.
she crazy loh!
she scold me for not doing maths in the library.
den ask me if wan ask ms phua maths.
den she scold scold scold.
i was like WHY U SCOLD ME.
i dun even know i'm supposed to stay back n ask maths.
u nv tell me how i noe.
den she say she tell amanda liao.
the thing is i'm not amanda, and amanda not me loh.
how i noe!
make it sound like my fault lidat. =_-
den i dun rrly wanna tok about anything lah, den do functions tutorial loh.
sigh.

conclusion: what a bad day.

tml got dragonboat, i better start pia-ing work todae.
dragonboat is taking up my free time.
i wanna learn frm nua nua. =D
little time, so much to do
but yet........ so qiang!
and si ge aka nuam nuam.
so cong ming, go lecture dun need listen, dun need notes.
wah! my idol sia. =X
den u seee arh, next yr, retain de is me not them =(

damn, i need sleep.

just read li yan's blog.

she made me realise that i kinda appreciated toh's prescence.
haha.
i find him nice as a fren in a bio tutor.
always suaning me as 'auto-pilot' nowadyas.
cuz i always volunteer to answer question.
(i volunteered cuz i noe the explanations n ans so that he wun call me for the qns i dunoe how to do. lol)
den after telling the class the answer, i will say, WHY? den i'll go on to explain.
lol.
(i think toh likes that) lol.
cuz every1 in class when asked to tell answer must be asked by toh to explain den they will explain de.
haha. oso dunoe why,
i like to talk alot during his lessons.

hmm.. what else abot her blog.
there's no ah ming ge or mao qiu or smth.
lol.
well, she touched smth about me,
saying that i hide my feelings inside n show the happy me in school.

ha, it's partly wrong lah i think.
cause, when i'm alone n bored, i'll start thinking about bad stuffs.
but in school, i get to see people who love me n whom i love, it makes me really really happy.
yah, did told her about my broken frenships n in past.
and the impending ones.
i think i'm born to suffer from failed frenships.
(unlike other - failed relationships)
it's my life.
think i had to get used to it ba.

that's wad's life's all about eh?
when you fall, just get up n carry on.
like who cares, if u fell?
no1 will, except urself.

i learnt something from yue chao.
to him, life only revolves around love, boy-ger relationships.
to me, it's about adapting.

adapt. adapt.
i wonder, when will i get used to something..?
things always change when i start to adapt from it.
people change.
i'm sorry that i never can adapt from this.

all i noe is that
if there's anyone putting you down,
no matter who is it,
it better not be urself.

cause when the whole world turns its back on u,
u should turn your back on the world and go your own way.
walk on.

for me,
no matter how sad n devasted i am,
i know i got my frens, like amanda, jie yin,li yan n jen jen.
i dunoe if they're my true frens, hu will stick toegther thick n thin with me, but the belief just gets me going.
and the most important of all,
i know that i got me right in myself. (:

sometimes, i just simply love myself.
whee! =D

well well, sch's tiring.
just saw jie walking to the mrt.
damn it leh.
she everytime kao bei me on wearing her shorts.
liew, i tell you wad she wore loh,
my pink giordano kids tee, teva slippers and my discman.
yeah! all i wore was her shorts.
wa lau, she v jek arh leh.
i oso nv kpkb about my stuffs. (till now)
so jek arh!!!!!!
just time she got discman i oso nv bring it out for even once.
ayo, so jek arh leh! =_-

haha. okie.
finished complaining.
i tink ah lek got some problem with our gang sia
he like hate my group pple.
so fuckin shittty.
haha. but nvm. it'll get better, i hope.

oh, my face is like damn sucky now.
some pimples all over the face.
ahh. =( dun like.

oh. todae's lessons are pretty alrite.
gp was interesting, as in they let us watch some video.
the vidoe is on a murderer who is jailed for 16 yrs, finally loses his appeal n served his death sentence - by lethal injection.
why he murder, how he did it and blah blah blah.
haha. cool but disgustingly upsetting.
the emotions are highhh.
haha. the thing is apparently nua nua dunoe how to appreciate.
the moment he got into the kecture hall, he went toilet den he went to the seats to get his bag (upon knowing that we're to watch a video) n walked outa the lecture hall.
haha.
he damn zai lah.
(oh, he drank ribena instead of bandung todae, i think he likes red/pinkish coloured drinks)lol.
but this is the last time i'll be 'touching'on him
cuz jie yin n jen jen was like gossiping about me liking him.
hahaha. so in order to stop everything, i shall not tok abt nua nua anymore.
no more lame jokes about him.
no more crapping about him.
no more 'nua nua spotted'
no more bandung.
no more him. (:

well, mr toh.
got his make-up lesson after schools todae.
den i oso dunoe where wad.
so i sms-ed him asking him when n where n wat time it will end (cuz jun was like asking)
so i messgaed him saying that the class dun wanna see him so much la.
den ater 1 hr later, he replied (to my relief, i tot he having bad mood tt day den i further worsen his mood. lol. tot he angry sia)
he said: the feeling is mutual. haha. he even added the :P face.
funny cher.

what else?
oh.. i'm friggin hungry now.
skipped my breakfast n lunch.
drank 1 cup of coffee, a slice of fish fillet. (wich jen jen abandoned) and 2 bars of twix, 1 bar of cabuary choc, 1 bar of mars proudly sponsored by my ka kia.and 1 bun from christie.
haha. sounds much but not enuf for me.
darn hungry now.
i'm happy cuz i had twix todae. (:
yummy!

well, i must thank yue chao here.
he's like so rocking good.
he still thinks that i'm sec 4 in mjr.
lol. damn it.
must thanks him a lot.
cuz cuz, he motivated a lot of stuff in me.
on studying, on beliving n working/fightin hard for wad i wan and confidence.
oh, thanks for telling me not to be so boyish!
haha.
he used to be my kor.
as in 'kor
though we exchanged less den 10 sentences in mjr.
still remembered knowing him when introduced by cloud.
ha. =)
thanks for everything dude! (though he dun get to read this)

was listening to them singin 'ao ye' when i tot of cong.
the song actually reminds me of him.
but but was pretty upset with him la.
hai, dun wanna tok or think abt it.
his birthday falls on college day.
well, =)

i think i shall head to bed n sleep for 1 hr n 45 mins den go run.
running is tiring n disgusting. (at least to me)
but i run everyday, cuz i carn run from frm reality.
i run everyday, to keep myself awake from all that's real.
i run, to make myself feel good.
cuz i really love the sweat rolling down my skin.
the sweat dripping from my hair to my shoulders.
i dunoe why.
i felt bliss. (:

i think it's a form of crying.
indirect crying. (:

what happened to you?
what happened to me?
what happened to us?

i'm sorry that it has to be turn up this way.
i dun... understand u anymore.
just like u don't know me anymore.

i'm sorry that i turn out to be nothing but a blardy bitch.
i'm sorry that i dun have a part in ur life.

u ought to be glad that u seen my true colours.
u ought to be glad that i've end your sufferings.
u ought to be glad that u got ur freedom now.
u ought to be glad that i ain't here to reprimand u for any faults u have.

u can have your life back.
now,

go.

ooh. todae PW was fun. lol. but last week's was hilarious.
we downloaded mr lim's pic n set it as desktop beckground.
we went photo editor to enlarge his face.
to inspect his nose, his think lips and eyes.
boy oh boy that was funn! =)
it made us luff till our mouths carn shut.
we drew target to focus.
radius to hit the target. (that was crap)
we wrote on the teacher's remarks for our proposal: excellent! this proposal is so well done that your group will not have to do anymore PW for the rest of your lives.
and the thing was mr young (our pw cher) happened to read it. haha.
todae, i learnt how to love malcom in the middle sitcoms more.
i learnt how to love cartoons, and how to draw squarepants spongebob.
kheng hong drew spongebob, nicole drew spongebob's cousin and i drew spongebob's dad!
showed it to vanessa n lindsay, apparently dey dun find it funny.
man, i must be darn childish in their eyes.


i'm so happy over knowing someone who has the same birthday as me.
now i know why charrisaa n wei sheng so happy eh?
hmmm....
whee. i'm so hyper! hehee.
so blardy excited lah. :P

i think i'm just being over happy.
like seriously loony now.
haha.


heck.

urgh!!!!!!
todae is a preety bad day. =(

the very first thing todae was that i felt awkward seeing jie yin.
haha. it's like yahhhh.. she doesn't wanna tok to me.
so they all pang seh me beofre the morning assembly loh.
amanda went with chris to her locker. apparently too lazy to follow.
jie yin n li yan went somehwere to return some snoopy comic book.
i was left alone loh.
i was like, thank you loh.. lol.
heck.

den i remembered i haf to stuff my tee shirts into the locker.
was at the B block, so it was pretty convenient.
ask my ka kia to pei me go.. he sitting down liao, say lazy.
lousy ka kia hor? eeeyeer!
so, i pulled poor weiliang. (he oso wanted to attend to the gents la)
oh, on my way there, saw nua nua whilst talkin to weiliang. lol. =/
den i stuffed my tees and waited for him.
on my way down, ella asked me if i wanna go for nationals for dragonboat.

i dunoe if she meant by joining the nationals n continue db-ing for the rest of my 2 yrs (hopefully, it's two.. not three)or she means for nationals only.
(plus, i rrly forgot that she neeeds people for the com.)
so sorry ella. hehe.

after asking her many many many question. i agreed.
bleah. dun ask me why.
i dunoe myself. :/

wad else?
hmmmm.... todae was shitty cuz i had chemistry SPA.
okie, the 1st bad thing was: i forgot to close the lid while weighing the calcium carbonate.

2nd thing, i mixed the stuff in conical flask instead of beaker. (realised it when i found that the conical flask dun have the tip to aid the pouring of the solution.)

3rd, my pipette filler gave up on me. so i changed loh. but still canot. change n change again. no time liao den use loh. it can't lower the level of water. it can only increase. fuck loh. all 4 lidat. =_- den i keep poruing away the excess.
ah lek see liao, like not happy.
he stood in front of me and watch.
den minus-ed my marks in front of me! damn!

4th, my titration values are like 3.0 different frm others.

5th, i dunoe how to calculate.
i gave up all 3 qustions.
there goes my marks.
ha, tell me how bad can any practical be..?

i think my chem is like dying.
practially dying loh.
i hate chem pracs.
i think chem n maths are joinin forces to hate me.
urgh! no!!! =( *shakes head vigorously*

haha.
let's talk about the good things todae.

got amanda's sms to remind me to bring my calculator.
(though i already stuffed it in my bag le),
it shows how much we loved each other eh? lol

got sanjay's sms in the morning.
he cheered me up pretty bit.

haha. got to know that nua nua always alight at the tpjc's big gate there.
(okie, it isn't a good thing to noe, actually, it's nth. lol)
actually it's a good thing, it makes me feel happy cuz he dun have his mama or papa to fetch him to sch. wahha. okie. i'm being a sadist.

ooohhh.. the happiest thing todae was that i found someone who has the same birthday as me.
wow! i'm so happy. i dunoe why.
just imagine u giving someone a present on ur b'dae,
and yet receive a present from that someone.
wahh! like christmas lidat leh!
ooooohh... must know his ic no.
so that i can tell whether he's 'bigger' den me or not.
hahaaa.
liew, must get to know him so that i can feel christmas before it actually happens.
ooh.. his name is shi ming.
not bad, at least got the m-i-n there.
haha.
yah.. i'm going bonkers.
just just... exctied it's been 17 yrs till i found someone like that.

i'm so hyper. :P
tee hee hee!

i know it's pointless typing anything and everything here.
i know nothing ever helps.
i know i deserve to fail.
i know i suck.

but tell me what can i do,
when no one cares?

it aches inside.
i'm so tired.
so sick of everything.
but still, what can i do?

-hits my head over and over again-

why am i so stupid?
why can't i do such a simple sum?
why can i only make a person cry, not laugh?
why can't i make a single good decision?
why can't i be satisified with what i have?
why am i failing every test i took?
why am i such a failure?
why am i such a moron?
why am i such an idiot?
why am i such a retard?
why am i such a bitch?

someone,

tell me why.

well, guess what.

i flunked my chemistry test again.
i mean, yah.. it might not be surprising to u,
but i'm really disappointed with it can.
like really big disappointment.
i studied like big fuck for it.
and in the end, it all comes up to nothing.
i feel like dung.
okie. i'm a big fuck.
immediately, i sms cong to tell him.
and all he told me is to: get used to failing. life is lidat.

-sigh-
no one ever tries to understand eh?

oh what else..?
ha.
i made jie yin cry today.
okie. she cried twice, due to me.
i din do much, seriously,
all i did is to tease,tease,tease and tease her.
i dunoe wassup with her.
and wassup with me.
maybe i just don't really care.
sometimes i just simply envy jie yin. yahh envy.
tears come to her easily, unlike me.
sometmes, i wish i cud cry and cry and cry.
i felt so upset over everything and i dunoe why.
no one will ever understand i think.

i cud pass my biology test. urgh.
i wrote the wrong answer in front yet a correct answer behind.
ahh... careless.
chemistry.
i think i'm born to fail it.
like maths.

haha. was talking about nua nua to amanda todae.
i think he's good.
as in good in managing time and stuff lidat.
he's taking 4As and swinging rackets all day long.
i dunoe how he manages everything.
plus, i think he sleeps a lot...
look at his pimple-free face.
he must have time to do facial or sleeps damn lot.
man, he makes me inferior.
ha, i told amanda that i must and will do better den he did.
for they say he's arrogant.
i mean, no big deal if u're from vs, i'll show u mjr can do better den u.

amanda replied:
oh. lidat arh.. dun need to compare liao. you go home sleep.

haha.
well, maybe she's right.
other then that i wanna ask nua nua:

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!?!?!

but it's not so bad...

you're only the best i ever had.

well, i'm pretty in a confused state now.
dun really know what to do and what not to do.
ahhh... it's a decision making path where i get to choose which track i wanna go.
but the thing is, i dun wanna follow the old tracks,
i wanna go a new track and make a trail.

well, ain't supposed to be here.
i hate it when i'm stuck here,
i can't go offline cause someone really needs me.
but another thing is, where's everyone when i need them?

well, people always say: it's better to give more den receive.
hopefully it's true in this case. (:

hmm... i dunnoe wad to get for cong.
his birthday's coming.
(yah lah boy. ur good fren here, didn't forget u.)
i hafta apologised for the past horrible present.
will try to make up everything this time.
i know i suck as a best friendof yours.
maybe i'm not the best for you anymore.
maybe, we dun even treat each other as friends anymore.
i dun know, i dunoe wanna noe.
really.
the truth hurts.

ahhh... shall go back to inequalities.

i think i'm a sucker, cong.
i'm so sorry.
so sorry for being such a loser in everything.
sorry.

wellx, blogger has changed its style.
ahh.. whatever.
hate myself for eevrything todae.
i hate myself for spending all those precious time in the library, drawing stupid stuffs. i'm just so into them.
i hate myself for wasting those money and eat junkies which obviously is fattening.
i hate myself for sleeping upon reaching home when i'm supposed to sit down n do maths.
i hate myself for not waking up in time for my usual evening jog.
i hate myself for sleeping beyond the schdueled time.
i hate myself for talking too much of nua nua.
i hate myself for not bring my maths- binomial theorem.
i hate myself for not understanding maths.
i hate myself for not loving myself.

but well, i love myself for all the dos.

reminder to all:

the years start coming and they don't stop coming,
so it didnt make sense not to live for fun,
cause for your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
You'll never know if you don't go,
You'll never shine if you don't glow

I'm here just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racing heart is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?
And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say...

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm
So I say..

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say you're right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to lose you again

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

Yes I will...

though i hate to leave you.

just read the happy prince..
(not that i haven read it before)
i dun understand why he's called the happy prince,
when he isn't happy at all.

people say that love can't be that strong,
you might just believe them.
but we can show you,
we can prove them wrong.

-winkx-

HAVE YOU EVER
1. Kissed your cousin: on the cheeks. maybe. ages ago.
2. Ran away: yes. from reality.
3. Pictured your crush naked: no?
4. Actually seen your crush naked: haha. nope.
5. Broken someone's heart: maybe...
6. Been in love: what a pity. never.
7. Cried when someone died: maybe. dun remember.
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: all the time?
9. Broken a bone: no. i hope i'll nv have to.
10. Drank alcohol: yah. when provided.
11. Lied: tell me who doesn't?
12. Cried in school: yeah. twice.

WHICH IS BETTER
13. Coke or Pepsi: neither. pass me a milo.
14. SPRITE OR 7UP: neither. hate soft drinks, they make me fat. urgh.
15. GIRLS OR GUYS: well, it depends eh?
16. FLOWERS OR CANDY: flowers. at least it doesn't make me fat.
17. SCRUFF OR CLEAN SHAVEN: clean shaven please. (:
18. QUIET OR LOUD: loud. just like me. (:
19. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: blondes. darn funky.
20. nice or playas: nice. (:
21. TALL OR SHORT: tall.
22. PANTS OR SHORTS: shorts. short shorts. (:

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
23. WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: face?
24. LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: jennifer? was grooving with the orientation 2 music.
25. WORST QUESTION TO ASK: anything that irritates me, like asking which classroom we are heading to now, when are we having our notes (hell, i dun owe anyone anything, i'm not your maid or your timetable..)

THE LAST TIME
26. SHOWERED: last nite.
28. HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: dun remember. guys freak me out a bit nowadays.

WHAT IS
29. YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: currenlt, my watch. can't live without it.
30. PERSON YOU HATE MOST: hmm.. quite abit. i always hate people who hates me
31. THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: todae just started.
32. COLOR: all sorts. i love colours. pink,green,white,yellow,orange,black,brown,purple, etc etc. get it?
33. MOVIE: dunoe. all movies are nice to me.
34. SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: physical education. i like to get my adrenaline pumping. (:
35. JUICE: soursop! (: hee.
36. CARS: cars that can bring me to where i want in the shortest possible time and has a radio and air con is good enuf. (:
37. ICE CREAM: cookies n cream/sticky chewy choc./sorbets are nice! (:
38. HOLIDAY: anywhere. i hate being here. :(
39. SEASON: summer. nice sun.
40. BREAKFAST FOOD: waffles/pancakes. yay.
41. PLACE TO GO WITH YOUR HONEY: beach. but the thing is i got no honey.

WHO
43. MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST: myself. silly me.
44. MAKES YOU SMILE: my friends.
45. GIVES YOU A FUNNY FEELING WHEN YOU SEE THEM: my crushes.
46. HAS A CRUSH ON YOU: no one. =(
47. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: hmm... ain't saying. (:
48. CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER NO MATTER WHAT: sanjay?
49. EASIER TO TALK TO,GUYS OR GIRLS: it depends. my gurl gang prolly. (:

DO YOU EVER
50. SIT BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL ALL NIGHT: nope. but an sms. =_-
51. SAVE CHAT CONVERSATIONS: auto-saved. good com. (:
52. SAVE E-MAILS: some emails are meant to be deleted while some are not. (:
53. WISH YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE: always.
54. WISH YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: sometimes. period. :P
55. CRIED BECAUSE OF SOMEONE'S MEAN WORDS: never. and wun.

BEST
56. COLOGNE: no idea
57. PERFUME: dun rrly care.
58. KISS: from my papa and mama i think.
59. ROMANTIC MEMORY: dun have any.
60. MOST RECENT ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: smile.

HAVE YOU
61. Fallen for your best friend?: last time? perhaps.
62. Made out w/ JUST a friend?: no.
63. Been rejected?: ha! nah. (:
64. Been in love?: never. sad case eh?
65. Been in lust?: hehe. :P bleah.
66. Used someone?: hopefully not, but everyone does that unknowingly, doesn't it?
67. Been used?: always felt as if taken for granted. so used. =(
69. Been cheated on?: hopefully. dun wanna think about it. :)
70. Been kissed?: by papa n mama? forever by my lil. rbother. tsk! :)
71. Done something you regret?: lotsa stuff. =(

Who was the last person
72. You touched?: my mama. (:
73. You talked to?: my mama.
74. You hugged?: li yan i think. always hug her.
75. You instant messaged?: samantha. last nite.
76. You said you loved?: myself. need to pull myself together eh?
78. You got upset with?: myself. for being such a loser in everything.
78. You yelled at? i dun yell. i talk louder. (: actually, dun remember. jie yin i think, always try to cover her voice. :P
79. You laughed with?: jie yin, li yan after piggin outin long john's, when i was too into the nua nua talk till i almost got banged by a van. stupid. :P

80 and 81 are missing

Do you
82. Color your hair? used to. during drama performance. made it blue. (:
83. Have tattoos? nah. it hurts.
84. Have piercings? yah. one pathetic hole on each side of the earlobe.
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? boy friends and gurl friends. yesh. other then that, nope.
86. Own a webcam? nah. whats' the point?
87. Own a thong? nah. ain't buying what i ain't going to wear.
88. Ever get off the damn computer? haha. when jie wants to use the com. :)
89. Sprechen sie deutsche? huh?
90. Habla espanol? what?
91. Quack? apa?

Have you / do you / are you
92. Stolen anything? yah. ages ago. =/
93. Smoke? no. never will. urgh.
94.Schizophrenic? haha. hopefully not.
95. Obsessive? yesh. i admit i am. to a large extend.
96. Compulsive? yah. always.
98. Panic? yeah. when everything goes wrong.
99. Anxiety? yah. when everything goes wrong. i hate it.
100. Depressed? nowadays, always.
101. Suicidal? used to.
102. Obsessed with hate? used to. not now. no. (:
103. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? no. haha. do i look like a sadist?
105. If you could be anywhere, where would you be? anywhere where my gurl pals are at.
106. Can you do anything freakish with your body? no, if it hurts.
107. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others? eyes/smile
108. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: why not.
109. Would you marry for money?: hell no. hopefully not. hopefully. :P
110. Have you had braces?: nope. have a nice set of teeth. hee! *shows off teeth*
111. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: nope.not that free.
112. Do you like hairy backs?: hell no? haha.
113. When was the last time you had a hickey?: never had one.
114. Could you live without a computer?: no. no. no.
115. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc...? msn.
116. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?:
117. If you could live in any past, where would it be? haha. i like life the way it is now. dun wanna live in any past with war n terror.
118. Do you wear white socks?: nope not now. ran outa them.
119. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: take them off duh. i prefer being a barefootie.
120. What is your favorite fruit?: mangosteen?
121. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: both. prefer white ones though.
122. What is your favorite place to visit?: the beach. (:
123. What is the last movie you saw?: haha. don't remember. it's been soo long... the one with ailing, amanda and wei yi. ooh. big fish!
125. Are you photogenic?: nope. i suck in everything. i spoil all pictures. =(
126. Do you dream in color or black and white?: rarely dream. think it's coloured.
127. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: *looks at toes* yahh.
128. Is it chipped or fresh?: chipped. guess so.
129. Do you have any dimples?: my left cheek. (: hehe.
130. Why do you take surveys?: cause i dun wanna do my work.
131. Do you remember being born?: nope. tell me who remembers.
132. Do you drink alcohol? yah. when provided.
133. Did you like or do not you like high school?: i like going to schools. got good good frens. they keep me going. (:
134. What is the best accent? ang moh.
135. Who do you want to kiss? aaron carter? haha.
136. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: sunrises. it reminds me that i have another day to live. :)
137. Do you want to live to be 100?: yahh. why not?
138. Is a flat stomach important to you?: yesshh.
139. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: nope. dun have one to start with.
140. Are you loyal?: depends. lol. most of the times, yesh.
141. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: yah. why not. they can believe in whatever they wan to believe in.
142. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?:. off. unless it's creepy.
143. Do you have nightmares frequently?: nope. rarely dream.
144. Do you like your nose?: maybe. small and nice. lol.
145. Do you think you can draw well?: it depends. i think i can draw. well or not, i'm not to judge.
146. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: never believed in him since i heard about him, cause i never have presents during christmas from him.
147. How many pairs of shoes do u have in your closet?: not so free to count.
148. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: same shoes. dun wate money. (:
149. Do you write poetry?: nope. haha. if i would to do that, it'll suck like hell.
150. Do you snore?: haha. sometimes.
151. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: sides. so that i wun suffocate.
152. dog/cat?: both. dogs looks innocent while cats are pretty lil' furry things
153. Do you lick stamps?: haha. used to. now they got sticker ones.
154. Do you use an electric can opener?: never seen before.
155. Have you ridden in a hotair balloon?: nope. so pathetic.
156. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: physical. i can deal with emotional pain. (:
157. Favorite TV show?: mtv (both eng n chinese)
158. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?: ha! myself?
159. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?: piano. violin.. is alright
160. Are you a sex addict?: .... haha.
161. Do you know someone who has cancer?: dunnoe rrly noe. dun wana noe.
162. Do you like to argue?: yah i love to argue. come on babe,let's get down to business. (:
163. Do you hunt?: haha. hunt for money? ooh. nua nua! always search for him. lol. so that we can laugh at him. =/
164. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?: fastfood joints so i can talk as loud as i want, throw my food as far as i can, and dirty the table as badly as i want to. (:
165. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?: zoo. at least i can act like a chimp there.
166. Do you have a middle name? What is it?: haha. no. if there is, it'll be JiA
167. Are you basically a happy person?: on the outside, yah. inside, dun think so. eeyer!
168. Are you tired?: yah. tired of everything.
169. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: nope. haven't drink anything since i woke up.
170. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?: hmmm... yah. the drama performace, xi xing. yah. (:
171. How many phones do you have in your house?: 2 home fone. 1 fax fone. 3 handphones.
172. How long is your hair?: v v v v short. urgh! =( piglet says i look like a boy.. =_-
173. Do you get along with your parents?: yup. very well. (:
174. What color of eyes do you prefer?: sapphire blue. icy-blue. (:
175. Like your name?: nope. not when everyone has the same name as me.
176. Were you named after anyone? haha. no. hopefully not.
177. Do you wish on stars? hmm.. never. maybe ba,obs.
178. Which finger is your favorite? middle finger. (: the longest and the slimmest. lol. =)
179. When did you last cry? a few nights ago. how i wish i can cry now.
181. Do you like your handwriting? duh! obviously i do! it's yummy. hehe.
182. Who do you admire? haha. lotsa people for different things.
183. What is the #1 priority in your life? happines.
184. What is your favorite lunchmeat? seasoned chicken/pork.
185. Any bad habits?: a lot. hehe. shan't say moree.
186. What is your most embarrassing CD? ar? got nth to be embarrassed about.
187. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself? yah. i need another me to be even louder. i need another me to argue with.
188. Are you a daredevil? most of the times, yah.
189. have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? hmm. the only person i tell everything to is myself and manda. she noes wad i noe. i hope i noes everything she noes.
191. Do looks matter? i think so. or else, i'll have a lot ofex-s now. lol.
192. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? haha. dun remember. :P hopefully not.
193. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? pooh. 99%- no. 1%-yes.
194. Do fish have feelings? yah. they hate being cooked.
195. Are you trendy? haha. think so. carn afford to be any trend-ier.
196. How do you release anger? cry. talk about it all time till i got bored of it.
198. Do you trust others easily? it depends. 70% - yesh.
199. What was your favorite toy as a child? barbie dolls. i never stop loving them. not ever now. yahh. i have a fetish on barbie. they're soooo pwwreety!200. What class in school do you think is totally useless? hmm.. civics. waste of my time. :P
201. Do you like sappy love songs? yah. they make me wonder why i dun have anyone to sing those too. (aww!!)
202. Have you ever been on radio or television? tv. yah. when huay kuan got my performace recorded and played that during lesson. lol.
203. Do you have a journal? yah. u're reading my blog. got a written journal too. (:
204. Do you use sarcasm a lot? haha. always forever.
205. Have you ever been in another country?: yahh. but haven sat plane for at least 3 yrs. (sigh)
206. What do you look for in a guy/girl? love for everything. (:
207. What is your nickname? rabbit.
208. Would you bungee jump? haha. sure. why not. if it's for free, count me in.
209. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? no. hate to kneel down to tie n untie.
210. What are you worried about right now? failing all my tests. taken one and those which i haven take yet.
211. Do you ever wear overalls? haha. when i'm young
212. Do you think you are strong? strong in mind. weak in action.
213. What's your least favorite thing in the world? suffering.
214. How many wisdom teeth do you have? haha. i dun even noe wad's wisdom tooth.
215. Do you have anything pierced? my earlobes.
216. Do you have any tattoos?: no? =_-
217. What would you change about yourself?: everything.
219. Who are the people you care most about? my loved one. friends, family....
220. I see: myself typing this post.
222. I find: time to finish my work. i hope.
223. I want: love from everyone. more time to finish my work.
224. I have: tons and tons of homework to do.
225. I wish: that i have a confidante. that i'm more a mugger den a slacker. (damn!)
226. I love: my friends. peace. myself (i hope)
227. I hate: hatred, death, suffering,unhappines.
228. I miss: the old me.
229. I fear: being a failure in terms of results. and not getting into the sch's netball team.
230. I feel: stupid, worthless, like a loser.
231. I hear: my mind calling me to not give up.
232. I smell: like the duck porridge i had just now.
233. I wonder: whether if i can manage everything on my own.
234. I regret: lotsa stuff.

12:50:00 AM

What Name Should You Have? by Lauren

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel

may you find some comfort here

i need some comfort.
-sigh-

sinful sinful.

shall keep to my promises.
shall escape from all that is real.
shall not think about anything or anyone that has no importance in my life.
shall keep everything inside and be happy on the outside.

shall be believe in what i think is right.
shall do what i'm supposed to do.
shall love those who love me.
shall like those who detest me.
shall not interfere in anything that is none of my concern.
shall not have self-pity.
shall be happy.

shall lead a new life.

trust me, i can do all these, for you.
and i will. (:

-smiles-

what a sin.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

why is people at our age so into love?
what's the definition of love?

i dun understand why people are so hard up on relationships.
relationships that involve opposite genders,
i dun understand why.

i dun understand why people rather go for relationships that they knew will never last,than holding onto never-ending ones,
all for the sake of their proclaimed love.

i dun understand why you can't see i gave up all that,
to be a forever friend of yours.

i dun see the point of saying best frens forever,
telling me that u're forever there for me,
and you're not.

you know you're not.
i know you're not.
so who are you trying to kid?

i dunoe what else u want from me.
i have nothing more to give.
i can no longer produce A math solutions till wee hours for you.
i can no longer explain chemistry or physics to you.
i can no longer chat with you on the fone for hours and hours.
i can no longer play word games in the airport with you.
i can no longer tell you wad i can memorize in social studies.
i can no longer do these things.. with you.
because, you dun have anymore uses for all these.
then, i dun have anymore reasons to keep thse going on.
you wun be interested, neither will i be.

all i can provide you is the resource of widening ur social circle.
all i can do is this.
but i'm sorry...
i can't bring myself to do this for you.
because, because, because,
i can't afford to lose any best friend anymore.
i can't lose you.
i can't.
i gone through this pain once.
i can't handle everything by myself.
i can't lose you.

i need someone to support me now..
but..
where are you..?

u told me that you'll here forever for me... =(

*sob*

i'm so in love,
so in love with you.

i'm so love,
if you only knew.

i'm so in love,
i don't think i'll ever feel the same.

yes, i'm so in love,
i'm so in love with you.

[Billy Idol (Speaking):]
Good afternoon everyone.
We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving
up to thirty thousand feet, and then we've got clear skies
all the way to Las Vegas, and right now we're bringin you some in-flight
entertainment. One of our first-class passengers has written a song
inspired by one of our coach passenger, and since we let our first-class
passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.

[Robbie Hart (Singing):]
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the one who grows old with you.


I wanna grow old with you.


things ain't the same anymore.
i just realised.... u're not the old you anymore.
i just couldn't understand what you're thinking.
it's like, suddenly, i dunoe you.
i hope it's not true.
i hope.
but then things turned out the other side.
and you know,


i'm sorry.
i can't be perfect.

-sniff-

i am everything you want,
i am everything you need,
i am everything inside you,
you wish you could be.

i say all the right things, at exactly the right time,
but i mean nothing to you and i don't know why.

=shagged=

went for home visit today.
was crapped cuz i did nth much.
(there's nth much for me to do)
shan't elaborate.
too tired to.

well, tml's chem fac test.
someone wish me luck.

i will pass tml! =D

come what may.
come what may.

i'll love you until my dyingggggggg dayyyy!!!

-giggles stupidly-

boo!!!

failed my bio fac test.
have been failing every single test i got.
fuck!
it's not that i haben been studying.
i did! =(
but i think it's not enuf.
so i gotta get going and mug on chem soon.
(chem fac test on thurs)

this shall be the very very very last test i will fail.
this i promise myself.
i'll work v v v v v v v hard to pass every single shit i got.

if papers are tougher, i shall be tougher den 'em.
if papers are bitches, i'll make sure i screw them up as badly as they screw me.
if papers are shit, i'll ensure i wipe them clean.
mmmmm.... now i'm satisfied.

what else?
been crying thesedays over minor stuffz.
i dunoe why.
emotion just got hold of me.

i'm growing up. (:

tried crying myself to sleep.
failed to do so.
my tears ran out by the time i fall asleep.
so shitty right?
hehe.

was very mean to everyone todae esp. amanda.
hehe. am so sorry.
at least i apologised. (:

what else arh....
i'm scared.
haix.
i rrly hope i can pass chem this time round.

another worry is during bio lectures.
scared of nora calling my name out and ask me any questions.
i sure cock up one.
then toh is coming up for the new lecture on the new topic.
we so fren.
he confirm call me to ans qns de!
ahhh! dunn wannnnntt!

what else?
oooh...
was banging against li yan's locker
cuz the damn thing needs to be banged before it can close.
so i was banging loh. den nua zai came along.
and looked at me while i was banging.
haiyo, it's weird la. seeing him walking around.
eeeeeyeeerrrrrrrrrrr.

oooohhhhhh....
i found a guy who looks like gymnast le!
he looks chio.
duh!
as in pretty instead of shuai.
wahaha. :P


well well, study hard study hard.
it's still




.w.e.i.r.d.

When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk beside you
I will come to you

When the night is dark and stormy
You will not have to reach out for me
I will come to you

Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days
And you don’t know how or why, but you have lost your way
Have no fear when your tears are falling
I will hear your spirit calling
And I swear I will be there come what may


cause even if we can't be together
We'll be friends now and forever
And I swear that I'll be there come what may
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you

We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who'll always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dying
And you need the strength to keep trying
I’'l reach out and take your hand


-winks-
sheesh.
i can't help but think about.......... (:

ahhhh...

study!

ahhh!
stupid canadian pizzas.
it's shitty.
it made me chiong to the toilet 5 mins after consuming.
it's either i have high metabolism/digestion rate or it's poisoned.

wuahaha.
someone wants me dead.
he or she comfirm bribe the pizza-maker to poison me to death loh..
but he/she forgot that i have good immune system and great thinking.
cause i made sure my brother eats more than me.
so that he will die earlier den me if it's poisoned.
wuahaha.

enuf crapping.
shall get down to business.
work. =_-

i need you tonight.
i nee you right now.
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you tonight

haha.
i must have been too bored to feel deprived of.. =)

bye bye to ?
haven't seen him on msn for at least 5 days.
he's gone.
maybe it's good.
or in other way, it's bad to have someone not wantin to tok to you.
but then, it feels good not being used to anyone or toking to someone who knows u but u dun noe him.
ahhh.. irony irony.
the thing is i actually miss npcc.
was singing to 'train to be a leader' song when i saw a blog which wrote the lyrics.

train to be a leader to fight our land.
once in our life.
4 yrs of our time.
have u ever wondered why must we serve?
cause we love our unit and want it to be 1st to be 1st.
stand up and be on ur guard.
come on, everybody, let's do ur part.
do it for the unit. do it for the unit
do it for the unit.
children having fun, we're holding guns.
have you ever wondered why must we serve must we serve?


well, well,
i actually missed the feeling of having a v v v v v close relationship with someone.
till then,


to the someone out there,

if you want to,
i can save you.
i can take you away from here.
so lonely inside, so busy out there.
and all u wanted is somebody who care.

right here waiting. :)

groovin : nelly furtado's try.

i'm just sooo into this song.
-am supposed to be mugging. just finsihed 1100 words assignment-
felt so ever accomplished.

am supposed to pia finish the chem bk i borrowed frm the library.
felt so sluggish now.
but since i promise myself to finsh the bk and some maths.
i shall.
got maths test on tues.
am so ever determined to pass my maths for the very first time on my own.with my abilities and maths brain.
i believe i can't be that bad in mugging.

i can't be.
i shall not be.
i mustn't be.
since jie yin and manada promised to study hard to me.
i will silently promised to study hard for them and myself.
was readin that cat poastcard they bought and wrote for me on the bus y'dae.
was like smiling and smiling and smiling.
they're such sweet darlingss...
awww. =)

i felt awful too. for being such a bad fren.
(shall skip the details)
well, i felt as if

i can blog and blog and blog the whole day.

hey hey hey hey hey.

spent the whole day online yesterday and slacking in sch.
suddenly, i really hate myself for being such a slacker.

ahh. =_-
shall study now and head to watsons' later den see wad i can get for myself.
ooh. i owe mama one packet of twix. =D
shall study and ifnish up my work. =)