but it's not so bad.
you're only the best i ever had. :(
 
woots.
today is a nice nice nice day.
they're having their guitar night now i think.
heh. (:
pardon me weiliang, chin haw, etc etc, for not going to support you.
i'm lazy, plus i got to do a lot of chionging later. (:
must must must. and will will will.
 
anyways. today today.
ran 2.4km early in the morning!
14.14mins! lousy right?
hahaha. but heck heck heck, i'm overjoyed kay?
ran with liyan initially but later i ran faster alone.
i was like wanting to stop you noe?
i was like thinking of the nike ad: the person in front of you is there to be overtaken. (:
hehehe. gilajay :P
came in the 3rd runner for my class. haha. loser sia. =_-
 
den when our classes are learning badminton together.
me and alan VS benedict and tiong. haha.
we were leading at 1st loh. but lost our 2nd and 3rd set. =_-
urgh. so we owe them drinks.
then they went on to play with mr chew, while i played with desmond.
forgot the score, so dun need treat! yay. =P
den played with alan also.
i won him! whees! then, he owe me a cup of milo. whees. (:
 
was sweating like mad loh. den went for classes.
boring! bored bored bored bored.
but i friggin survived!
okay, i must watch my mouth from now onwards.
and my actions. i've been really bad bad bad. =P
 
oh, then amanda and i stayed back with liyan after school for a while.
went home, read TIMES, fell asleep naturally. (: whees.
woke up by a very irritating call. irritating. i tot was mum.
so i sound rather rude.
but i can't go back to sleep le! so irritating leh!
den went online till now.
my computer's winamp/window media player's configuration is spoilt!
damn damn damn damn damn! uRGH! hell no.
so i can't listen to anything now.
W-H-Y?!?!?!?
 
hahaha. i hope i can fix it. hope! faith!
god bless me. yay! (:
i still hate tpjc. urghh.
oh, i just got to know more of some people today.
-giggles-
denise says i'm bian tai, but i'm not okays!?!?!
 
i'm scared of tomorrow.
it's damn hectic and packed.
i hope ma will do me a service by chaffeuring me to and fro tomorrow.
pls pls let her be free!
i can't make it for tmr's land training too.
urgh. interact pass-out is so irritating.
it's such a small event loh, why make it so big? =_-
boon keng so early summore.
how how how how!
interact will clash with sea sports tomorrow.
that sucks a lot a lot a lot.
dun want lah. =(
-sigh-
say dun wan oso no use.
urgh.

oh. look what you've done,
you've made a fool of everything.
 
wells wells.
tired tired day.
just came home.
going to bed real soon. right after this.
 
today today. good day.
saw nua nua in the morning.
received amanda's sms telling me that she wun be able to go to school cause she's having a bad headache.
oh wells, during chinese tutorial, she popped out sia.
=___-
she say she stay at home v sian. =_- dots leh.
if i were her, i'll sleeeeeep at home.
 
den after chinese, was break.
went to canteen to get fish burger.
oooooh, saw nua nua.
denise failed to take his pic using mui hia's fone though. =(
hahaha. but amanda cried la. cause her head aches a lot. =(
dunoe why she rather come to school also.
 
then lessons are good.
chem lec, nua nua sat so farrr behind.
but i managed to catch glimpses of him.
hahaha. heck la.
one day see so many times will sian one.=P
oooh. english tutorial sucks like hell.
 
i hate lim hock look.
fucking hell.
how dare he scold me for i have done nothing.
he chided me and jie yin in front of the class, asking us whether we've settle down for his lesson already o not. saying that this lesson is very important and he thinks that we both NEED it very much.
i mean what the fuck.
we aren't the lousiest of all. why picked on us?
u asshole! fuck fuck fuck,
throughout the lesson, i was scribbling the fuck word over and over again.
drew watermelons (he looked like one himself) and i drew stuff to countdown till lesson is over.
asshole. you suck like hell.
URGH! ass ass ass. =_-
 
then after school, did pw.
edited nicole's chinese compo for her.
it was hilarious i tell u. haha. (:
den after pw, i waited for the gang to finish up their OCIP interview.
great. i dun even have to undergo one.
bloody bloody bloody TPJC.
stupid ms mak and tt irritating guy. ugh.
tpjc sucks sia! =_-
stupid chers all around.
no wonder tpjc is never in top 8. =_-
heh.
so irritating. =_-
 
ahh. =_-
went to uncle louis for lunch at 4pm++
ate prawn mee.
got myself a cup of choc ice-blended with pearls and 1 plain waffle.
den chiong to esplanade for interact meeting.
haha.
i think i'm damn loud and noisy there. =P
the people are nice lah. (:
 
went bedok with the guys to eat den.
bought 4 packets of tissue for 1 dollar from a poor kid.
he's really really cute can?
i can't bear to reject him. =(
that poor child. have to sell tissues at night. after school and everyhing.
he's really cute loh.
he even chose nice nice tissues with nice printings on it for us.
sigh. life is so cruel.
maybe we should be grateful for what we have.
 
oh anyway, saw si ge in city hall today, with the rest of the kayaking people.
he looks... exactly like him. haha. duh. =_-
 
hmmmm... what else aR?
oooh. i must wear my NP uniform for national day sia.
it's been so long ever since i wore that. eeeyers. =_-
i think i'll suck a lot in it. hahha.
everyone will luff at me. =(
and i lost my skirt.
shit. must find!!! =_-
 
anyway, gotta run 2.4k napfa for spe tml.
hopefully i can get A for this item.
i must and i willl.
wooo hooo.! (:
 
good nite nua nua! (:
poor guy, today me and amanda discussed about their gang liao.
hahaha. out of sian-ness.
and and and,
he's skinner and darker.
poor baby. =(
hahahaha. =P
 

today is a yucky day.
so this colour is used.
eeeyyerrr. =(
 
i hate today.
and because of that, i fucking hate tpjc.
fuck you, tpjc.
sucker.
suck! suck! suck!  =(
 
okays, let me explain.
i'm disappointed that i didn't get shortlisted for OCIP.
fucking hell.
my gang members except li yan who didn't sign up, get to go.
except me.
me me me me.
the very fucking lin jiamin.
urghhh.

heh. so disappointing can?
sigh.
benny just sms-ed me. hahaha.
it's funny. he just realised that i got a reminder for him. (:
it simply reminds him that he sucks la.
he's dman wols can.
i save this reminder during the june chalet. haha.
den he just read it. =____-
anyways, must thank him for trying hard to cheer me up.
unsuccessful though. :D
denise oso. (:
 
today is really lousy.
except for the nua nua part again.
haha.
saw him in the canteen during the break.
and during db training. hahah.
ran acrosss him.
he didn't even see me. haha.
wich is good. (:
 
training was horrible cause i ran 11 rounds. haha.
very slowly with fiona. (:
and every round i ran, eric will be behind me, screaming 'BEAT NJ! BEAT NJ!'
hahaah. cause i was wearin the red FBT shorts and wearing my fac tee.
so i look like njcians. hahaha/
eric kept shotuing.
david told me: yay. i overtook nj by two rounds today. =____-
i think they're completely insane.
 
oh, anyway, exciting part!
i saw nua nua topless for a few seconds. hahah.
shall skip the finer details. (:
 
oh wells, checking out pw now.
i still hate tpjc.
imagine my feeling when the name list have everyone's name except mine.
heh.
bloody ass!
 

oooh.
i'm listening to forca! (:
i'm still into that song.
never fails to motivate me.
today is good. (:
 
except that i'm a bit hungry and sleepy now.
zzz.
 
erm. erm. erm.
had breakfast again! (:
whees.
took the bus with adenline to school.
this is the second time of the week taking bus with her to school!
den we tlaked cock lah.
she speaks english, so i have to compromise.
and my english sucks.
even nua nua agrees.
 
oooh. was hyper till my 1st step in school.
zzz. good thing that i didn't have tummyache.
but it's a sad sad day today.
our principal cried on stage.
one of the j2, the rock climbing club president, died yesterday late noon at 5pm.
of some brain tumour.
we had those one minute silence thingy during morning assembly.
it's really sad to see the principal cry.
her voice was shaking and dramatic.
plus, the things that she said was really really sad.
i had goosebumps right from the start of her speech till she ends.
the thing is that her brother died of something similar years ago.
and that 5 years ago, that rock climber guy's mum, died oso from the same disease.
and she described that scene where she visited him hours before he passed away.
he gripped her hand hard. he was on the respirator. he's blind and 1/2 deaf.
it's really very heart-wrenching. urgh.
i swore i could just break into tears if i know who he is.
and i'm scared.
really scared.
and i did pray hard for him during the one minute silence.
 
the same thing happened to mui hia.
she got a tumour.  like what he got.
i'm really worried. =(
*prays extra extra hard*
 
ooh. lessons are extra boring today.
very very. but due to the huge amount of sleep i collected yesterday.
i wasn't that tired. :D
kept bumming into nua nua today. (:
whee.
especially in chm lecture.
can see him directly.
ahah. everytime i look at him, i'll find him staring back at me de.
scary. haha. den my eyes quickly darted back. (:
then somemore at the classroom, denise told me that nua nua go toilet.
den i look up and see, he suddenly u-turn den we find ourselves staring at each other.
hahaha.
 
then did napfa loh.
did one station only. inclined!
i did 31 of that! whee. same as last yea. (:
was the best today. :D
went 201 with amanda and jen jen. jen jen want to take passport size foto.
hahaha. we went.
den we walked home as in to my house. where they take bus 9 home.
whee.
talking to jie yin n denise now.
going to mug soon after dinner. :D

may he rest in peace.
at least he doesn't suffer that much.
you're loved by everyone. (: 
 
 

doinks doinks.
today is a good day i suppose.
and so a nice colour shall be used. (:
yellow was and still is nice.
wonderfool! (:
 
well well. today started good.
cause i had breakfast!
i really really appreciate the bowl of condensed milk flavoured oats + wheat cereal daddy cooked for me.
i really really love it very very very much.
i just realised that i can't live my day without breakfast.
and daddy always make wheats + oats cereal available for me almost everyday single school day.
i'm sooooooooo contented and satisfied.
i love my daddy. (:
 
well, then head off to school.
dad fetched bro to school so i had to take bus to school myself.
but it's okay, i'm willing to share my dad with my siblings. (:
hmm. was late for morning assembly cuase i was stucked in the oh-so-boring E205 classroom, looking at amanda's pw group chiong their file.
it's weird.
but i insist on believing that tpjc's feng shui is damn damn lousy.
i was pretty awake when i woke up at home.
upon reaching tpjc, i felt pretty tired.
and yah, it got worst during tutorials and lectures.
luckily tutorials and lectures are easy on me today. (:
thank God. i appreciate that too.
today's bio lab was cool! awesome.
i just love staring into microscope and look at the cell specimens.
haha.it's funny and amazing that u are made up of so much different shape and size cells.
woots. and and and the cell specimen is stained in blue.
so it's blue when viewed!!! nice right! (:
and and what's more, it's beautifool when there's purple colour in midst of the blue.
i dunoe what it is and where it came from though. :P
 
stayed back in school.
supposed to accompany li yan to tampines mall to buy some birthday present.
but hell, i was damn damn damn tired.
i can't even think straight.
urgh. i hate these days.
so i kinda rejected her (succesfully).
told her my idea. settle the present thingy. (:
went to library to mug. and the very very nice (as usual) amanda stayed back for me.
she told me that her parents will fetch her later.
but i think her motive is to accompany me in school till 5.30 when the training starts.
haha. the thing is my lessons end at 2.15 loh. =_-
haha. then saw nuam nuam in library.
he was readin loh. kao. muggertoad.
dun wan la.
canot let nua nua n co. win me de.
den i start mugging.
haha. but the end product sucks.
i didn't now wad i was mugging.
and i feel asleep!!!
woke up only when the library switches off their lights and air con, indictating that it's closing.
damn. =(
but it's okay den i went for dragonboat training. (:
ying chun and leah were so happy to see me.
leah said she was touched.
both of them n shu hui gave me a hug. (:
then did physical stuff la.
actually db wasn't so bad as i tot.
(now that i got leah as a company. =D)
training wasn't tough.
haha. i slacked a bit cause i dun wan my muscles to ache that much for tml's napfa.
eekes.. speaking of napfa =_-
anyway, did lotsa push ups la. haha.
and a hell lot of fun. haha. so crappy.
zheng yi and gang kept singing those hokkien songs.
i kept shouting. hahaha.
the guys are sooooo funny! (:
allen asked why i'm back again.
told him i missed him. hahha.
plus, he insulted my baggy baggy bag! =_-
said it's bigger den me, haha. in the end,
he got suaned. he is biggder den his bag. =P
 
i felt weird, joining back. =_-
sigh and there's no more sea sports tee for me leh. =(
sigh.
gottta pay 40 bucks for the alumni dinner too. =_-
skipped dinner. so i'm f-ing hungry.
 
diss me off, i shall have dinner then, (:
till then, good nite people. (:
 

this is weird.
i felt sad.
 
why?
it beats me.
 
-sigh-
i felt like shit now.
 
leave me alone.

today's brown. (:
dunoe why. but i felt unclean.
as in oily and sticky everywhere yet i refuse to bathe. (:
oh wells. (:
 
i'm tired
but i slept 10 hours liao.
need to chiong pw.
lu jun's not online. so how am i going to send the stuff to her.
urgh. =_-
i'm sleepy. sleep. sleep. sleep.
yeah, think i shall go for a bath after this.
oooh. i just saw ced's webby,
kinda cool. (:

 

1 minute ago: my computer hung.
1 hour ago: i just came home from sending amanda to the mrt station.
1 day ago: i was very very happy cause i got to see all of my secondary school friends. ate durian. fought with chang yi after so many months.
1 week ago: i was waiting very anxiously for this week to come.
1 month ago: the june hols are almost over! :(
1 year ago: i was still in manjusri. mugging and playing hard with my class mates.
1 lifetime ago: i was a rabbit! haha. (:
5 minutes ago: i was doing the other quiz.
.5 hours ago: i almost cried cause of mathematical induction tutorial.
5 days ago: it was a monday! mrs sze came back! (:
5 weeks ago: i was enjoying my june hols! (: bliss life.
5 months ago: i was gettin used to 1st 3 mths tpjc and my tpjc friends.
5 years ago: i did badly as a student for PSLE. but i excel as a child in terms of the childhood/primary school memories.
I hurt: when i sprained my ankle. and when love/trust is lost
I love: my friends. my family and myself. money. food. sleep. computer. kids! fun! sun! beach!
I hate: black faces. lousy results. failures. exams.
I cry: when upset. frustrated. when everything went wrong.
I fear: the supernatural and things that i can't see and dun wanna see.
I hope: that i will never have to study anymore!
I feel alone: when no1 talks to me and i feeneglected/invisible
I kill: try not to kill anything. but sometimes, crabs are killed for me for dinner. sorry crabbie. =(
I talk: crap. loudly.
I listen: to my friends. but ignore my lecturers. haha
I break: rules.
I see: a monitor!
I smell: colgate white toothpaste!
I taste: minty
I remember: how to do mathematical induction!
I hold: my computer mouse.
I hide: whatever stuff i dun wan anyone to see. eg. nua nua fotos! haha.
I pray: when i'm scared/anxious/nervous/excited or need a miracle.
I walk: along the changi beach with my family just now!
I drive: my friends crazy when i'm hyper or moody.
I read: the newspapers only when cristiano ronaldo is featured.
I burn: whatever i can find during mooncake festival at the playground when i was young.
I breathe: oxygen!
I play: harmonica, a bit of er hu, the tape recorder, the recorder we can learnt during music lesson in primary school, the audio recorder, the dvd recorder and monopoly! 
I miss: my secondary life, my friends, my free-of-pimples complexion.
I touch: everything i touched.. haha
I learn: to forgive and forget. and mathematical induction today.
I feel: sleepy and full. but satisfied
I know: i suck a lot.
I dream: about nua nua (the very last time i ever dreamt.)
I have: a dream. a song to sing.
I want: intelligence.
I fall: during my last netball training. for someone. (:
I wait: very patiently. for you. (: 
I need: sleep. intelligence. money.
I live: happily ever after (how i wish.)

[NOW]
happy or sad: happy.
sleepy or awake: sleepy
hungry or full: in between
dirty or clean: relatively clean though i bathed 14 hours ago.
sick or healthy: healthy with some additional headaches.
 
[WHAT]
you last ate: dad's own brewed herbal chicken
you last drank: dad's own brewed chicken soup.
you wearing now: my dragonboat blue sleeveless tee and tkgs pe shorts.
are you thinking of: whether to have dinner or not.
are you wishing for: haha. money. love. crab. sleep.
do you overuse: money.
do you take for granted: time.
 
[WHO]
do you miss the most: nua nua! (haha.) my secondary school frens n chers! (:
do you love: nua nua (again! haha.) my friends. my family.
do you feel most happy with: my gang people (in mjr and tpjc when they're happy.)
makes you laugh like a maniac: jennifer! haha. (:actually, my laughter is boring and everyone makes me laugh so i look spastic when i laugh.
makes u sleep: all teachers/lecturers/my books (books are human too.).
makes you cry: myself. my family. amanda (when she squeezed my sprained ankle.)
makes you angry: my sister/brother. haha. friends (when they're unhappy.) and bimbos.
enlightens you: God.
ill-treats you: erm. a lot? or none? it's always unintentional ill-treating. and besides i'm supposed to be the torturer, not the victim.
are your good friends: amanda! cong! xin hui, samantha, chun hui, yu ni, chang yi, jennifer, jie yin, li yan, gilajay, etc etc. oh. nua nua! (haha.)
 
[WHEN]
is your birthday: 19 october. *hint hint*
your loved one's birthday: haha. you suck i suck at remembering people's birthday. 17 nov! (amanda's) 22 may! (cong's) 6 july! (gilajay's) other than that, all dun remember. =l 
is your wedding anniversary: hahaha. tell you 15 years more down the road. (:
is the happiest day of your life: everyday is happy when u're with ur loved ones. (:
is the last time you did something for the first time: sat in geylang with benny, louisa and amanda eating durians along the roadside. hahaha. my first time eating there with friends. me and amanda's dream of sittin along the road, having durian, are fulfilled. (: oh, 1st time sitting up in front of everyone to clap for yu ni. and and i completed one of my tutorials in a day! (wow!)
did you last swear: ah. i pointed my middle finger at kheng hong today. it's been 3 days since i ever said f***. (iddit? great improvement leh!) oh. i said 'ta ma de' a million times when doing maths just now. stupid setter. stupid questions.
did you last have a fight: yesterday. sat beside chang yi in the hall. he squeezed my arm again! f! and it is still sore whenever i touched it.
did you last cry: haha. 8 july stupid brother. =_- oh almost cried just now. i just hate doing maths. can u imagine sittin there for 6 hours doing only 10 questions? haha. almost cried when doing it. i just can't bloody solve it! urgh.
 
[HOW]
do you break off with someone: haha. never try before. hopefully wun have to. (:
do you overcome depression: blog! bitch about what's making me depression. run. go to the beach. cry! laugh! find ur friends!
do you live your life: i live life as it is. haha. slack whenver possible. mug only when needed!
do you make friends: look at them then introduce! wait them to introduce themselves! tease people! bribe them by lollipops. (hehe.)
do you pass your time: sleep. beach. sun tan. blogging! chatting on msn.
do you pass your exams: ask me again when i get to even pass one.
do you find yourself: irritating. stupid. moronic. spastic. fat. ugly. bitch. (yay.) 
 
[WHY]
do you normally get angry: i hate it when people give me those moody looks.  or when things dun go in my way when i'm already upset.
do you cry: cause i'm upset? cause i'm frustrated. cause i'm having PMS.
are you who you are: because i rawk. whee. (:

okays. today's a wonderful wonderful day.
rather okay lah.
as in everything went pretty well,
except for the council investiture and nua nua ponning school again.
i can't believe he and si ge signed up for the course. haha.
i bet he bribe si ge to attend the course with him by helping si ge foot the bill. (:
 
investiture was a success.
went to council room, had fotos with jen jen's crush.
amanda's cam is all filled with his face. haha.
imagine jen jen's happiness! (:
 
den ah lek (@!&*!^#&*#!%*& us.
cause we were late for his tutorials.
too much fotos to take lah.
n we didn't expect the investiture to end that earli.
didn't bring anything.
went for bio lecture. boring.
fell asleep. (:
fell asleep during Gp too.
mr lim doesn't seem to mind either.
he just asked me why am i so tired.
i answered then i fell aslp. haha.
apparently no1 woke me up till the lesson is over.
then bio tutuorial... stared into the space.
den school's over! woots.
 
chiong pw in the library.
met louisa and benny at aljunied. hahaha
were late. stupid train. ain't my fault. =P
went for durians.
yum yum. benny paid. good. (:
then went school. louisa had to leave cuz she's nt in sch u.
den watched the parade, listened to yu ni's speech, clapped hard for them, gave out all the fotos.
got my o lvl cert den went to airport.
haha. kennie's funny. (:
then they ate at the viewing mall.
skipped dinner cuz i'm not hungry.
kennie got me a 40 cents mineral water. haha.
den tlaked cocked there.
got policemen. haha. thought they will chase us off.
but they didn't. well, think i gtg.
blog more tomorrow.
got bio SPA.
haven study! ahhh.
god bless me. (:
 
 
 

hullos.
i'm currently chatting with benny and ekkawat online.
benny isn't replying that fast casue he's busy with his wedding plans.
but it's okay, i got ekkawat for company. (:
 
ahh. it's late and i'm god -damn tired.
but i shall blog before i sleep. (:
i'm so dead excited about tomorrow, or rather later.
whees. manjusri here i come! (:
aya, but ekkawat's ponning school. haha. loser. :P
 
we talked about loadsa stuff.
haha. and he reminded me the very first time i drank chicken essence.
i got it from him in school.
cause i got biology exam thta day and he promised to give me one.
and he did. (:
so i drank it.
and man! i really woke me up! dung!
the thing taste so horrible! urgh.
i almost puked! wow! that stuff really works. urgh.
and i did nt too bad for biology. whees. (:
 
and now we're gossiping. hahha.
today was great anyway,
saw nua nua in chem lab.
what else?
ooh. after school, amanda came over to place.
we slept a bit den went to school to rehearse.
then, got to noe jen jen's crush. woots.
he wasn;t that bad after all.
haha.
den jen jen jealous.
say we flirting with him. =_-
went home.
ate, washed dishes, did everything i'm supposed to do except mugging.
 
oh wells, later is going to be good and even better if nua nua nv pon school. (:
i'm gone. (:
*poofs*
 

hey.
i'm feeling a bit weird now.
so green colour is used.
green makes me feel good.
but i don't feel that good now.
i dunoe why.
maybe it's because i didn't get to see nua nua in school today.
he ponned! *(^@!*&#%!%^&
hahaha. (:
crazy me.
 
ahhh. today is a waste of time.
totally.
no nua nua to see = school no meaning
did only 1 chem lab lessons den went to audi for video screening.
then read chicken soup 2 while waiting for 12pm to reach.
talked to chiaw tzee for a while. (:
he's still so nice.
whee. good senior! (:
 
went for sea sports carnival.
okays.
i got a bronze medal for the 12 girls dragonboat.
we're supposed to get silver.
bloody hell. =______-
but it's okay.
bronze will do for me.
i used all my strength during the race.
and i'm glad s11 got silver too. (not some other stupid class.)
 
what else?
oooh. i went back manjusri!
whee. hugged almost all the teachers! (:
mrs tan was flaunting her pretty makay dress to us. haha. (:
den jie yin and li yan told me i popular in school.
not matter where i go, sure got people call me one. haha. (:
but in tpjc, it's a different situation. duneo why. hahha.
i'm outa the comfort zone somehow.
 
well, i'm so into the jojo's song ' leave'.
i have to listen to it before i sleep.
it must have contain some meanings in it.
hmmm! (:
interesting.
 
yay. good news: nua nua will be in school tomorrow. gotta be! (:
 
- not in the good mood to type any further.

get out right now, it's the end of you and me.

well well. (:
shall not choose any colour today. (:
black is the chosen one. (:
 
oh, today was a good day too. (:
except jen jen's heart hurt. haha.
but it's usual anyway. i hope she'll be truly happy one day. :D
well, lessons are borings.
except biology lecture (i almost freaked out).
toh played this name game which picks out name from all the biology classes whenever he wants to ask a question.
and my name/jie yin's name popped during hte game but it went to more people.
so we are saved.
haha.
the thing is amanda got it and she got the answers right so it's alright (:
den for the last question, nua nua got picked.
woots! he's supposed to state three factors leading to cancer lah.
apparently he didn't know how to answer so he asked if he's supposed to say all three or one only?
his voice very teh leh. hahhaa. (:
in the end,he didn't have to answer cause we're running outa time. lucky him.
and when we saw the enlarged computer screen with his name on it.
i was stunned when jen jen and jie yin who were beside me, screamed 'nua nua leh jiamiN!'the whole LT was damn noisy. didn't know he's so popular. haha.
den toh was like asking us to keep quiet.
geez.
 
pe was another slacky one. haha. :D
s.m.lee was sick so han wen missed him very much during pe.
awwww.(:
went for the council meeting as one of the student helpers for investiture.
hahaha. we're supposed to go on stage, wear blazers, clock shoes and stockings. =___-
i chose to be the hidding one. whee. (:
well, i m supposed to do my PW.
later,
now, i'm going for a run.
 
enjoy people! (:
 
note: yesterday,ma's cake costs $16.50. den jie and i brought 16 out only. haha. so suay rite? but luckily, i met hui min! yay. borrowed 50 cents from her. (: she's my saviour for yesterday. pai seh leh hui min, the 1st thing i see u after so many months, was to ask money from u. =( was desperate. =( but u rawk! i miss you still! (: love you loads. (:
 
and i read manada's blog.
which is good. cuz it featured me. hahhaah. (:
 
 

happy birthday mama. (:
seriously, i didn't know it's her birthday today,
till jie woke me up and told me to chip in buy a cake for her.
 
oh wells, i like today.
it rawks.
1st thing 1st, it's the 19th of the month!
and it's... erm.. 3 more months to my birthday. whees! (:
then the second thing is, today nua nua's adventure v hiong.
go anywhere/everywhere oso see him. haha. (:
and they helped me made it obvious that he's zhang nan liao.
so now his name changes to ah chen! haha. :D
i think sooner or later he will come to me and tell me:
'eh siao char bo, so ugly still wanna follow me everytime. go to hell la.'
hahahaha. (:
 
hmmm, todae was fine in school.
jen jen says she loves me even more when she saw my np uniform with my rank on it.
hahaha. she's damn impressed. and i'm damn proud of myself. hahah. :D
oh, den i love maths tutorials now.
i love mrs sze. i'm so bloody glad she's back! woots!
she rawks my grey socks (like amanda!)
and biology lectures are boring
so is maths,cause nua nua and gang pon-ed maths. (so i got nth to do except to tok to jia ying and han wen behind.)
tsk tsk.
 
hmm, after school, waited for jen jen.
den we went for lunch at uncle louis! :D
had disgusting prawn mee and nice choc-ice blended pearl shake.
whee! (:
talked a bit on my wedding plans. hahahah. so fun! (:
den went home, read the yesterday's newspaper and slpt.
woke up by jie when she came over and sleep beside me on my bed.
haha. i actually hugged her cuz i wanted my bolster. =_-
den she woke me up, asked me to change so that she can bring me for a run to the house where there's loadsa rabbits and to eastpoint for cake.
okay, so we ran to the house and i found a new route for my evening run. whees.
shall try it next time. :D
 
ma was surprised to see the cake anyway.
we smuggled it home well. (:
and the cake tastes horrible.
den went online, xing he messaged me! (whee!)
i'm happy happy happy n glad glad glad to hear from him again.
it's been so long since we contacted each other.
i still saved his last sms to me. hahaha.
see? i'm such a good junior. (:
but jie had to interupt den by the time i come back, he's gone!
boo hoo hoo hoo hoo! =(
i wonder when is the next time i'll talk to him again.
i wish him well. :)
 
well, i wasted the whole of today.
i hope tomorrow is still as good as today.
i wish this whole week is smooth running. (:
 
suddenly, i wish i could pray for someone at night everyday. (: *grins*

oh no. this sunday night.
meaning that monday will come and 5 more days of school without rest.
god. :(
 
but it's okay.
i enjoyed today,
bought everything i need today.
that pink pen, refillers, and yea, a photo album.
 
oh well, i spent hours stuffin photos nicely in that album,
it's not really complete.
i lost that very important film. urgh.
but i realised smth different between amanda's album and mine.
hers contain fotos of the same people, chun, yu ni, etc etc.
mine was sizhao and co in front then amanda and gang behind.
 
suddenly i felt so stupid giving up that 2 yrs of close friend relationship with zhao and ru.
i was dumb.
but nothing i do can savage the situation.
it's too late.
i hurt them too much and so did they.
i wish them well. (:
 
i came across cong's class foto. (:
which we exchanged with each other for fun.
he wrote: i've been praying for you.
hahaha. cheesy.
i think only we know what that means that time.
and i hope he is still praying for me every night as he would last time.
cong, when are you going to return me my autograph book. =_-
this've been months! since.... september last year. god! =_-
 
back to mugging. (sigh)

yay.
today was nice.
and now, i'm in a hurry.
benny just sms-ed to tell me that cristiano is featuredin sunday times.
so i'm rushing out right soon.
 
oh, jie yin told me before benny anyway.
intended to ask jie yin to it for me instead.
but then benny had to describe to me.
woah. so i ran outa patience.
gotta grab a copy. (:
 
just came back from kallang.
got dragonboat training with ella's class. 03s04.
my senior batch. whee. (:
all gurls and they're veh nice. (:
was the pacer at first den ella came so i switched places.
now i realised that rowing can be fun.
and times flies when u row.
wasn't really wet so i just went home without bathing.
den went eastpoint.
wasted my dollar on a wrong bangle. =__-
it's unstretchable, so it broke. haha. what a pity. =(
 
well, going to mug after readin that article later.
will sleep at 10. 10.10.
hopefully. (:
 
ciao~!
 
oh, on the entry below:
i conclude that tpjc has bad feng shui. lucky benny got away. heh.
 

okays. (:
today is veh good.
veh veh veh good indeed.
except that nua nua isn't around for me to look at. (sigh.)
 
oh wells, woke up at 8.30am morning.
what short sleep i got.
but it's more than 6 hours.
so i'm satisfied. (:
 
woke up, surfed the net, bathed then went to amanda's house.
mugged a bit.
read through alkene/alkane (again), did a bit of trigo and discuss about plans and shopping lists.
brainstormed what is going to happen on friday.
did everything we could do la.
while mugging, the radio was blasting the top 20/40 songs from power 98 and 98.7.
and i was like screaming/singing with it.
yay. and there was loadsa great songs.
and i ate a lot. i finished the choc coated jelly.(the whole tube.)
i had pizza and twix. yay. i'm growing fat. =(
 
we looked/ went through all hte secondary school pictures we took.
oh well, it reminded me of those days, when we had fun, fear, stress, etc etc.
it reminded me how fat and ugly i am now.
and amanda worsen the situation. haha.
those were the pimple-free days, the 45kg days, the eye-bag free days.
ha. i missed it. =(
 
now, i dun even have to look carefully in the mirror to spot all these.
plus the blemishes and scars and extra pile of blubber and the ugly hair i got,
i look like shit (or maybe i am.)
hahahha. heckish. (:
 
anyway, i dunoe what happened la.
i just fell asleep on amanda's sofa. hahaha.
and i was sleepin rather soundly (that i din even realise her dad came beck home.)
oh well, the forca alarm had to ring. urgh. it woke me up.
 
went home all by myself again.
back was aching for no reason again.
my right finger, right feet still hurt though they're gettin better.
but my left leg started to ache the whole of today.
ahhh. what's wrong with my body..?
it's hurting wayy too much.
plus the constant stomach cramps didn't help a bit..
i must be getting old.
 
went eastpoint then. tried to splurge all the money i had with me.
wanted to get the photo album but didn't have the discount card with me,
so in the end, i got myself a toothpaste and a new tootbrush. hahaa.
i think i'm goin crazy.
when i reached dad, my batt ran flat on me.
so never mind, i went home (:
 
pulled ma and pa outa the house and made them go aljunied to have prawn mee.
both soup and fried hokkien ones.
i tell u the best prawn noodles are in aljunied! yum yum.
near the place sizhao lived. (:
ma was looking at the old beer lady who was wearing rather scantily.
hahaha. the woman had her specs folded and placed in between her boobs and she was wearing those very low cut shirt which was very sexy.
hahah. den ma was like talking about her all the time while i ate.
so funny. (:
den in the car, they started nagging at me, telling me that the way i studied is wrong.
blah blah blah. kinda cute. hahaha. (:
 
went to their friend's house.
stayed in the car till dad asked me to get off.
then the aunite was like, telling/teaching me about studies.
she even gave me a bottle of vitamin supplement, saying that it'll improve my immune system or brain memory. hahaha. took it lah.
they were v nice people, telling me that it's all in the mind.
and they even tried psycho-ing me to do household chores after ma complained. 
 
went home after that.
was rather sleepy.
bathed and blogged.
 
oh well, i'm dead beat by now.
sleep needed very much.
 
well, there's dragonboat training for me tomorrow.
i hope it's good and fun. (prolly won't be anyway.)
and i need to bathe tml in kallang (i dun want to.)
stupid stupid bad timing.
tsk! =_____________-
 
still, i can't wait for friday.

ahhh.
i need sleep. (:
so dizzy now.
but never mind, while i wait for hippo's reply, i shall blog. (:
 
just came beck from The Fullerton Hotel.
whees. (:
it's soo pretty. even the toilet is spacious.
god. (:
 
the food is yummily-delicious. *licks mouth*
the ambience is woah. classy.
i like the front door, those circular glasses which makes up doors lah.
it's automatic, so it keeps spinning,
and u just need to aim for a space den follow the glass in front of you.
something lidat. haha.
(sorry. i'm lousy at describing. :P)
 
anyway, we got 1 pretty white box for wedding gift from the groom n the bride.
there're 2 chocolates inside, white and brown.
it's heavenly! (:
and we smuggled quite a bit outa the ballroom. haha.
(a bit sia suey. but i prefer the box over the chocolates.)
i smuggled a white rose outa that place too.
and i gave it to dad,
cause he can't make it to the wedding.
 
well, i guess that's all.
good nite. (:
 

yay. i'm going fullerton for wedding dinner now. (:
nice reason to put on make-up and have my contact lens.
yay. (:
fullerton summore! (:
here i come! (:
 

woah. (: this is darn cool. i can just choose colours to blog, not more colour codes or anything.
sometimes, blogger just rawk like hell. (:

 
oh. todae wasn't that bad.
in fact, pretty good. (:
okay, the only bad thing is that i met another dilemma.
and that i'm stuck with badminton for SPE for next few more weeks.
which means that i didn't get to play tennis todae and wun get to play it anymore.
sigh. bye bye tennis!
 
but mr chew complimented on me being good in sports.
(though he did said i no standard when i drove the shuttle-cock outa the court and i was tryin to argue that it's not my fault.)
i played with amanda. haha. we wasted lotsa time, trying to teach her how to serve properly.
haha. she did well. *applause* (:
i'm so proud of you. (:
after pe, we just sat in the hall, slackin, then chew came over.
he was like talking to me about dragonboating,
then i went like, eh sir, i quit (read me, not quitted.) dragonboating months ago.
he went like, but u have lotsa strength and blah blah blah, then he asked me to join in the club activities,
though i politely declined cause it'll be weird to like, join in after months of absence.
and plus, i dun really enjoyed rowing that much,
plus, i skipped the LTC (which i still regretted skipping it till now.)

well, but he insisted,  by saying i'll tell them u're still in sea sports,
and that it'll be alright and he dissed netball off, saying that it'll prolly close down soon. hahaha.
(oh. i just saw si ge in one of the fotos in the foto album. he looks dai. haha. but nevertheless, he got a pretty face. (: he's never ugly anyway. but then, i still dislike people from some schools..haha. so canot make it lah.>
 
and now i'm stucked on the crossroad : netball or dragonboat.
dragonboat provides better cca points, more torture, more water,being shameless, more ban mian and less fun.
netball provides: better stamina (after all the runnings), more broken/fractured feet/knuckles/fingers, more water consumption, wastage of my own water supply having needed to wash the 'beeps' for the team once in a while.
 
so, what's for now?
i felt weird joing back dragonboat after saying i have quit and plus, i dun mix well with the gurls there, as in no close connections, stuff lidat, i dunoe why. (but maybe i'll have leah as a company. haha.) but cong + gang and geng yan joined db in their polys, and they were like hoping i was in db too. urgh.
 
i felt stupid, continuing netball too. i, no doubt, improved on my ball skills but i still suck in it. plus, it has no bright future. really. but i got friends there, nice friends. so i'm really stucked. how how how how?
 
i bet people will just advise me to follow my heart.
i'm confused.
everything has its pros and cons.
that little voice which is supposed to be telling me what to do, is no longer there for support.
so tell me, what to do.
 
sighs. well, maybe i shouldn't think that much,
maybe chew will just prolly forget about me. (:
 
been thinking about this for the whole day.
it's unhealthy to think so much and weigh the good and bad.
but.. sighs. in the end, i'm just stucked at the crossroad.
that's horrible.
wastage of time and brain cells.
but being indecisive is me.
 
well, my right arm is still aching.
so are my right middle finger and right feet.
playing badminton made it worse.
haha, chew asked me how to be so violent, he told me to relax when playing.
apparently, i smacked whenever i can, sending the shuttle-cocks outa court, blah blah blah.
and yah, i made amanda knocked into that pile of neatly piled-up chairs, it's weird for her not to see it in the v 1st place.
 
all thinking, no tennis, makes jiamin an unhappy gurl.
plus, dad didn't get up in time for his taiji session,
so i went to school on my own, empty-stomached. =(
remind me to ask him to sleep early on school-days. haha. (:
 
morning is nice. (:
saw nua nua. haha. he looks... the same. =__-
but the better thing is, i saw my frens. (:
did the usual stuff, national anthem, pledg, annoucements.
jen jen kept imitating that digging-for-handkerchief-action and sniffing of the announcer throughout the whole day.
silly gurl. hahaha.
and lady luck was on her today,
she got to sms her already-seven-months-and-sixteen-more-or-less-days crush. (:
and she got his reply also. she was supposed to meet hhim,but in the end, failed. (she looks pretty disapppointed)
but it's pretty funny to watch her transfer his sms replies from her inbox into her folders. hahaha.
she's soooo in love. (: (and i tot she's supposed to love me only.)
 
well, had nice lessons today. except for chem tutorial.
i tot lesson is ending at 10.30. but they had to tell me it's 11.15. urgh.
biology tutorial was damn cool! :D
cause toh was in the impt meeting, he can't have tutorials with us.
whee. so we slacked the whole two tutorials away, when we are supposed to spend the time copying solutions.
(the clever us, photocopied the whole thing.)
 
then went to canteen for lunch.
wanted to eat chicken rice (as usual), but auntie only had char siew rice.
after walking 2 rounds, we settled on char siew.
while buying, nua nua naively thought that there's chicken rice. (like us)
then, jie yin and liyan started giggling, laughing and telling me that it's behind.
i, of course ignored them lah. =_-
den they were like telling me that i'm such a good actoress for pretendin not to care.
and he said: uncle, ji fan jia tan. (uncle, chicken rice plus egg.)
then i realised, his chinese is sama sama as hippo's. hahaha.
just that he's much cuter than hippo. (hahaha. at least to me! :D)
ahhh. (: nua nua got a new name: zhang nan! hahaha. (shan't elaborate.)
but since jieyin's suppossed to be zhang nan's mum and me zhang nan's wife (in the play),
and zhang nan's standin beside me,
jie yin was like whispering: i'm telling zhang nan that u bully me.
the chicken rice auntie was like, wah.u're so fortunate to have her(me) just a daughter-in-law. hahahaha. =)  
that's so crap. (:
 
then, he went away after knowing that there's no chicken rice,
and he pronounced loudly to si ge lah.
he left his racquet and bag on the bench and went away.
i was like telling them that i got a plan, get the racquet and run!
:D
no1 wanted to be my accomplice. so i gave up my idea.
ponned netball today. deliberately. i dun wanna be time or score keeper.
intend to sleep but can't. urgh.
 
jie yin scratched her leg cause of me today.
bet it's goina hurt hurt later when she bathe.
sorry, zhang nan ta ma! (:
 
and i'm rather pissed off by jie.
whats' her fucking problem..?
i dun owe her anything. urgh.
i'm not her fucking maid.
go to nus/ntu hostel and dun go back lah.
stay as long as u can.
life's better without u taking the fan as your own,
taking my discman as yours (u wun even let me urs when u got yours.),
shouting at me (for instance, the uncooked rice.)
wearing my tee(which u said it's ugly when i 1st bought it.),
screaming for me to get your wallet(i'm not a dog.),
slamming that door on me,
etc.
 
urgh.
fuckign irritating.
i'm not a toy nor am i a destressing kit.
i'm your bloody little sister.
and i deserve to be treated as one.
 
i wished i'm the only child. =(

come on,
let your next choice,
be the best choice.

and i choose to be happy. (:

p.s : xiao ai, i'm sorry that i can't find that pants for u. =(
awfully sorry. dun be pissed with me. =(

and hippotamus, enjoy life. (:

aww.
bad news.
got a bruise on my elbow, my right arm muscles are aching, my right feet hurts everytime i walk and my middle finger's joint on my right hand is swollen!
urgh. =(
and tomorrow is SPE, and there's a higher chances of playing tennis.
and i'm not missing tennis! heh!
cause we'll miss tennis next friday (sigh) cause there's be council investiture in the morning.
and after that, we'll have our usual lessons (so we will miss tennis) and and after that, i'll prolly go home sleep and head back to manjusri!
it's their school anniversary! (actually i dun care)
but it gives me the reason to go back, all my honeys/darlings are going back! (:
and my da lao po is going on stage to achieve top pupil award,
tell me how to not be there? (:

hahaha. just saw the stupid tpjc massages benny sent me.
thanks anyway. (:
nice to know that i'm actually remembered. haha. (:

what else?
ooh. it was pouring todae.
nice weather.
saw nua nua again. which is normal.
i tot he din come to school today.
had a veh veh nice day in school.
as in everyone's happy. which is goot! (:

went for lunch during maths tutorial.
actually the teacher oso nv care de lah.,
and i spent 1hr doing only 2 sub-questions of maths.
ahha.
i'm a sucker at maths.
urgh.


hmmm... now i'm getting more crazy about nua nua and his adventure.
wheee. (:
hahaha.
we're staging a play edited and taken out from some tv serial.
hahaha.
i'm nua nua's wife, jie yin's nua nua's mum, li yan's nua nua's siste, amanda - editor, jen jen - director, denise - the audience.

and i lied today.
what a sin.
but i dun wanna be forcedto come school and help out.
look, waste of time and waste of money (90 cents on bus fare!)
but the catch is i might get to see nua nua's parents! ahaha.
but then, i dun really care. =)

todae is really really good.
very crappy.
i hope this continues.
may everyone be happy.

shall go bathe now. (:

well well.

todae's nice. (:
there's nice timetable we got. (:
and the nicest thing is that we had a total of three breaks todae again!
1st was recess, then our break den mdm twu had to leave for chinese oral. yay. (:
okay, so we gossiped a lot todae during chinese.
about our 1st 3 months stuff. (: the friends.. how we got to know each other.
and they were insulting me! heh.
jen jen said that she remembered me since day one, because i was the loudest and noisest one in the class.
jie yin said she got to know me when i was talking to amanda atextreme left and she was sittin at the extreme left, and she actually overheard our conversation. hahaha.
i can't believe it.
am i that loud? (:
*wonders*

what else?
ooooh! i finally went for netball training! (:
whees!
now that i finally find trainings as fun as before.
i love netball! (again!)
actually it's only the running part that sucks. heh.
i ran 15.14mins for 2.4k today.
wich is kinda moderate la.
but considerin that i've been attendin to toilets forever today,
it's rather good.
poor amanda was like struggling to run her last round.
sigh. in the end, she stopped and asked me to run myself.
i felt bad leaving her lidat. =(
i'm a bad friend. =(
and yah, i caught lotsa the balls today.
amanda improved a lot too! (:
and and.. i fell down during the match.
heh. i dunoe what happened la.
i was like trying to get the ball so i jumped, someone banged into me, i fell loh.
but it's alright. (:
no blood (which is sad.)
bu i had a scratched elbow, pain in my right middle finger and my right feet.
the bone in the feet just went 'crackkk' when i caught the ball.
ouch.
and the bone in my finger went 'creaaakk' when i caught amanda's ball.

yay. (:
but it's fun except i got a stitch on my left tummy when i was running. =(
horribleeeee.
but i ran on. haha.

what else?
hmmmm.. pw is going on smoothly. (:
and and and.. i'm happy. (:
well, but i'm going to pon netball on friday. (shh..)
cause it's a waste of my time. urgh.
go be timekeeper and scorekeeper.
might as well go home sleep.

anyway, since i'm happy,
i changed my link to benny's.
well, at least it'll helped him a bit.
but only if the teacher doesn't get her address before i changed it.
oh well. (:
shall go.... do my reading log now.
sigh.

hahaha. (:

sigh.
todae is rather nice.
though i dun look good in the early morning.
they told me i looked moody.
i wasn't!
i'm just quiet and sleepy.
amanda was like trying so very hard to make me happy.
so sorry dearie. (:

in the end, everything is good. and funny.
wheee. (:
sigh.
it rained again.
so i skipped running. (:

well, i shall go and do maths le.
ciao.

my 301th blog entry! (:

i shall keep this really short, cause i want to sleep.
so that i'll look better in school tmr.
not as if i'll be nice to look at.
but.. sigh.. you noe. (:

ha. read jie yin's blog.
okay, she could have and nearly made me teared.
if my eyes squeezed hard just a lil' wee bit,
i could have cried for her.
and sorry for being so stubborn, jie yin.
i'm sorry for being such a bitch.
i'm sorry for not thinking straight.
i'm sorry that u have to be stuck to me for the rest of your life. (:

actually, today was a real bad day.
and it got worse when i realise that mui hia's health is failing.
her thick hair is thinning.
she's looking all pale and tired.
the scalp region where she had a operation, is gettin more visible as the days passes.
it breaks my heart.
it pains me.
and even mr toh advises her to quit school due to the medical checkups and regular chemo she needs and she'll miss a lot on school.
i know i'm not supposed to feel sorry for her, cause i noe she wun want that.
but then, be strong mui hia. (:
i'm proud of you. always proud of you.
be strong.

i'm stil kinda depressed over everything.
school, (now i learnt that i got lotsa bloody tons of stuff to catch up.)
friends (the stupid have been neglecting the feelings' of my dearies.)
home, (ma and pa din chide me for the bad results. ma even said i tried my best. they told me to work hard on my stuff. and brother asked me to quit sch so that i can join poly next yr and he wants to go poly too. haha. that silly boy.)
finance, (i'm damn broke.)
fitness level, (dropping now nownow. heard that i got napfa test tml. god bless.)
time, (it's constantly going on and on and on. come on, i need a breather.)
heart (i think it will get a bloody long time before it gets completely heal.)
mind, (more willpower i suppose?)
sleep! (ahh. i kinda missed that one a lot.)

i'm sorry if i made you cry, amanda. (:
but i guess, all you need is a good hard cry.
and u got it. (:
all thanks to me! (:
and yah, we got our new best friend song!
which i have to listen every single day.
and thank god.
she sms-ed me the whole lyrics when i'm down today.
haha.

'with you all the time' by gareth gates (man! i just dig into his musiq!)

hi, 300th blog.
i'm sorry that this have to be a rather urgh one.

somebody ripped my heart out and leave me here to bleed.

well.
read jie yin's blog and it made me more upset.

why can't the words i said just enter from their left ear and leave from the right?
why can't they understand that i dun mean whatever fucking thing i said?
why can't they know that i just need someone to gurmble, whine and kao bei to?
why do they have such high EQ?
why do they have to take every single fucking word of mine so seriously?

this is stupid.
i MEANT it when i said i'm happy for you.
i dun mean it when i said you peng seh-ed me when you passed.
and you deserved to pass. not me.

this is stupid.
or maybe it's me who is the stupid one.
cause no clever person will fail two of her A subjects when she only have three to take.

maybe i should have bottled everything inside.
maybe i should have cried on the spot and said nothing.
maybe i should have keep everything to myself.

and if u want it,
u got it.
i will shut up on my own accord.
i'm not going to say anything you dun wanna heard next time.

wen: well if ur friend gets angry with u for passing.. den shes not a real friend right. wadever la (taken from tagboard)
whatever.
this is the very last fucking time i going to say this,
i'm not upset with you passing.
if i am, i'll be so pissed with everyone + nua nua + li yan + jen jen + amanda.
and yah, if you think that i'm not a real friend, then i think you're not my real friend either.
i dun think you understand.
i dun need your understanding either.

maybe i should have been born a mute or smth.

what a fucking day.
fuck hell.
fuck off.
bloody shit.
fucking leave me alone.

this is my 299th blog entry in here.

ahh well,
todae just isn't my day.
anyway, good news for all the f***ers out there,
jiamin here, failed her mid yr bio test.
yay.

got 42% anyway.
while nuam nuam got 60%, si ge got 47.5% and nua nua got 50.5%
what shit.
i actually failed.
was so fucking disappointed and disgusted with the marks.
i actually tot i'd pass the test.
geez!

ahh well,what's done is done anyway.
i'm feeling pretty miserable whole day after knowing the results.
so i kinda like dissed everyone in my clique.
i'm sorry.
i just... dunoe how to handle my emotions well.
or aya, just forget it la,
i'm just another bitch or something.
God.

now i noe why jen jen is never happy.
cause she is never contented.
she's never satisfied with what she had.
with all those passes, she's unhappy.
she's unhappy with just a pass in biology, while i failed.
and i have to listen to her whine and grumble endlessly.
i mean, come on la.
you didn't even fare so badly as i do. in all the subjects.

heh.
i'm so fucking upset with myself.
and i know i deserved it well.
it's my fault. not anyone else's.

and seriously, i felt so horrible.
i actually let mr toh down. =(
after the biology lecture, we had bio prac.
initially, we din talk. so unlike before. it's weird.
but later, while i was looking into the microscope,
he came over, pat my head and asked if i did really study for his bio.
i said i did.
and he asked me what happened then.
i told him that i dunoe, i studied and it happened that i fail. that's all.
i was like almost wanting to cry.
i felt so upset with my results.
(and if i know that i'm going to fai it, i wun study tat hard in the v 1st place.)
he went like, as if like sympathetically, evaluate yourself. think what has went wrong.
then he went away.

sigh.
i was like praying to go home during the last period, maths tutorial.
then kheng hong reminded me that i got pw to do after school.
urgh!
then i went to like, argue with the members, trying to postponed the metting till tml, cause i wasn't feeling v well.
urgh. but i stayed in the end.
crapped a lot.
then i went home, leaving jen jen in the library.
i noe i shud have stayed with her till 5.15 for her meeting,
but i really can't.
so i left, feeling v guilty indeed.

then it rained.
GREAT. i wanted to go top up my card.
and luckily i got my umbrella with me.
so i decided to treat myself nice todae after that oh-so-great-disappointment.
went to top up my card, head to ntuc, grabbed whatever i want to eat,
so in the end, i ended up buying 2 cup noodles, sushi and milky bar with choc bits! (:
went. to the bread shop, got myself the ham and potato bun.
went to the bubble tea shop to get the choc ice-blended with loadsa pearls.
ah ha. (:
went home and finished up everyting.
every single one of them for lunch.
though it dun sound a lot, but it had me real full.
and i'm happy.

and yeah, if this goes on, i'm really going to turn into a tree trunk.
but then, i had to make myself happy.
so there, i think i'm insane.

madness!
tell me it's just another nightmare.

-sigh-

life is getting depressing.
but still, i like my life. (:
i love myself even when no1 does.
i dun care how horrible i look or how fat am i.
so i'm not going to let myself down.
.n.e.v.e.r.

i'm losing touch with running.
ha. guess what.
i urually ran 3 rounds everyday and todae, i only completed one.
got a stupid stitch on my right. can't stand it.
then some guy is hoggin the pull-up bars,
so i din do anything. (but at least i lose some water mass.)

read amanda's blog anyway.
i can't help but really,
i feel like slapping her hard on the cheeks.
i dun wan her to be so upset.
and the thing is, she's upset over.. nothing.
she can't live her life like that.
it's torturing, not only for her.
but those who love her.
it's irritating to know that i'm not appreciated by her.
and it's disturbing to know that she doesn't to share her feelings with me.
i'm supposed to be her good friend.
and hello, what's a good friend for?
it's for good support, loads of care and love.
i hate myself for being such a failure.
and yesh, now she have to make me depressed.
urgh.
now i know why i'm so depressed thesedays.
i can't be happy when i've to face people with sad looks and self-pity all the time.
it drives me crazy.
it makes me sad when the person i love is upset.
and i dunoe why.
life doesn't suck, for goodness' sake.
it's the thinking that sucks.
man!
i'm pissed.

i dunoe what happened to her.
i'm supposed to be the bloody sad one.
not her.
she's insane. God!
she doesn't realise how fortunate she is, does she?
she gets to go overseas every year, one cd per month, her room, excellent chinese, etc.
i dunoe what's she thinking about.
madness, i tell you.

but then, i understand that everyone has a story to tell.
she has hers too.
but what can i do when i have no inkling how she feels or.....
-sigh-

and yah, what a GREAT friend she is.
she wants to die. great.
she would rather have my heart broken than to face me everyday.
do i suck that much..? =(
i dun wanna cry for her or anyone around me. (though i did many a times cursed my brother to be dead, but i dun meant it. i love him.)
i just dun wan any of the people around to die.
i dun wan my heart to break.
i dun wan death.
i hate people for committing suicide.

and let me repeat, i hate that.
i pity them.
too much self-pity, i see.
selfish people who only thinks about themselves.
think.
ur mum and dad worked so hard just to make sure u have clothes to wear and food to eat, and when u're 17, u think life is a bore, life is irritating, life is meaningless, you just go ahead and die. wasting all the money and time investing in you from ur parents.
what about your parents? what are they supposed to do? how are they going to survive the bloody heartache you gave them? what's your fucking responsibility. are they going to work till they die just because they dun have a son/daughter to depend on, cause the son/daughter decides to just get themselves killed.

what coward act.
you dun deserve a medal for the courage to kill yourself.
and if you go hell,
mind you, u deserve it.
i know it's mean of me to say that.
but look, others dun get a chance to live.
think about all those miscarriages you read about.
does the foetus want to be born dead?
it haven even seen light before its heartbeat stops.
you think that chicken for your dinner, on your plate, want to be killed?
it has no choice.
but you do.
you fucking do.

i dun understand.
you're healthy, both physically and mentally.
you'r not ill. you're not sick.
you've everything you want, you can breathe without some machine and tubes stucked in your nose.
you can run. you get to eat.
you study. you got friends. you get to love.
you don't get AIDS just because it's hereditary or
any other fucking dieases just because they dun have vaccines for you.
you can think.
but why think on the dark side when you can look on a brighter side.

it's fucking irritating.
why make yourself upset?
no1 bothers.
no1 cares about you being upset or depressed.
so, why bother?
why fucking bother.
fuck.

and why do you have to upset me when u're upset.
it's not my fault.
i'm not responsible for you.
u're responsible for yourself.
i'm always here to love, hug and give you all the support you need.
i can't help you when you dun fucking help yourself.
i'm so irritated. urgh.
madness.

i love you for you.
for who you are, deep inside.
and i dun understand why u can't live for yourself.
you used to be nice and happy all the time.
why nt now.
and if i'm the one who is causing all that unhappiness,
tell me.
i'll get outa your sight.
as long as it makes you happy.

i dun know what you're thinking about.
but i think it's time to wake up.
refresh.
erase.
renew.
and restart.

it hurts me so badly to see you're not the old you.
why can't you be as happy as before.
why can't you get love urself and your dad.
why must you make yourself so unhappy.
why must you hate school so that. (which influences me pretty bad too.)
why can't you live life the way it is.
why must you think so much.
why can't you feel blessed.
why can't you be just happy.

why are you so selfish?

but still, anyway or another,
trust me.
i'll still love you.
i'll pull you through this horrid horrid growing up phase.
because you'r my best friend. (:

please, just be contented and happy.
because our equation goes like this:
amanda happy = jiamin happy = jen jen happy = jie yin happy = li yan happy.
and if one of us is unhappy, there goes the rest.

the bottomline is,
i love you and i'll be there for you.
smile. just smile.

wheee..

i'm definitely enjoying myself at home.
now it makes me wonder why i kept going out every single day during the long break after the o lvls before school starts.
the every-day sentosa beach trips. (:
though i missed that very much.
but it doesn't help when sentosa is soo far away from here.
and with the accumlating workload.
the adding amount of 'i-dunoe-what-that-lecturer-is-talking-about', cause i never took the time to find those schoolwork stuff out. so i'm having trouble with even mugging now.

and, let's say jiamin just simply have a very very short span of concentration.

i hitted on the basics of organic chem.
those naming and drawing stuff.
just started on alkenes.
i actually took like, 4 hours to do that.

and in the process of conquesting organic chem, i finished a cup of milk tea with lotsa condensed milk so it looked white instead of brown (i haven had those for such a long time.) and i also finished a chapter of the chicken book series. (i finished the 'on love' topic. with much of brother's tickling, touching/molesting and bugging. he laid beside me, reading that FHM magazine! stupid pervert.)
and yah, i had goosebumps everytime i read about death in the stories.
like, why must someone or something have to die before someone feel blessed or touched. rather interesting eh?)

i've vowed to run at 7.
and start my usual exercise routine again.
(after all that slacking for 3 full days. i guess it's better to start now than to let my stamina level drop wayy below again.)
and yah, i promised myself to finish bio tutorial and finish readin up that alkene part.
and yah, i'll sleep at 10 tonite. (no more no less.)

i felt so weird now.
i need someone to talk to.
-sigh-

i think i should quit coming online.
someday. (:

today isn't a good day.
firstly, i'm damn tired. (though it's 10.06am already)
secondly, i'm soooooooo hungry.
thirdly, my headache is coming back.
and the last thing of all, is that i think i wun be able to finish my vcds. =(

stupid stupid.
brother's gone out for spider-man.
jie's hogging the tv downstairs which i wan to use to continue the movie. (though the tv here has the vcd player, but i dun think it's going to work.)

oh bother.
so i'm stuck here! (as usual)
i want food.
i want the tveeeee downstairs.
i want more sleeep.

i'm losing touch with people i once cared about.
i dunoe why.
but i felt nothing when talking to them.
no love, no care, no chemistry.
it's like, i really dun bother.
sigh.
this is weird.
i am weird.

think i shall go and read the chicken soup. (:
morning anyway. (:

well well,
i must apologise to... none other than, myself.

haven studied. (:
been sittin around,
experiencing that feeling of being a couch potato.
and hey, seriously, i dun mind being one.
with the added fact that, you dun need to think and write.
just occasionally, walk around to eat some stuff or to change your vcds. (:

alrighty.
shall summarised what i did just now.
for the past hours, i sat on that sofa.
i ate the sea cocunuts (which ma specially cooked for me weeks ago cause i loved those things and i just touched it)
while watching those vcds.
i left 1/2 of 'the recruit' to finish the entire three vcds.

oh. i finished 'the bourne identity' today.
was rather cool.
now i dun mind watching action flicks. haha. (:
oh, let me write about it.
jason bourne is a lean, mean machine (is he? think so) which is worth US$30 millions.
den when he went on a secret mission on board a yacht to kill some black man, he failed cause the man have his kids around him, so jason din wan to kill himin front of them.
so he was the one who kana 2 shots and threw into the sea,
he was later saved by some fishermen la.
he apparently have amnesia (wonder if it's spelled lidat),
so he had trouble findin out who he is,
when all he had is a gun, loads of money, lotsa of different passports and hell lot of people trying to kill him.
he got help from a girl whom later became his girlfren,
in the end, he's freed la. (:
so he's rich, handsome, muscular, with a nice lady.
how nice can life be for people like that.
heh. it's sooo unfair.
(remind me that it's just a movie)

then then,
watched 'the recruit',
which featured al pacino and colin Farrell.
colin farrell is gorgeous.
groovy baby! (but i still prefer nua nua/cristiano. haha)
it's aout a v intelligent hunk(james) who is a recruit in CIA.
he became the NOC, which is the position many wanted la.
he fell in love with this girl in the farm (where the CIA recruits are trained)
and now he has to get even closer to the girl, for his NOC mission.
haven finish watching it.
haha. (:
guess it'll be nice. (:
and even if it's not, i can spent the entire movie time going ga-ga over colin farrell.

and i'm going for dinner with daddy. (:
yay. (:

sorry for being such a terrible blogger.
i do apologise for the lack of range of vocabulary and the sickening obviously wrong grammers here and there.
and yes, the nice singish i got there.

oh well, i'm a singaporean and i shall stay proud as one.
(that is when i dun have enuf money to emigrate to portugal)
but as for english, i'll improve on it when i get hitched with some ang moh guy (or nua nua. with the fact that he only speaks in english).
haha.

hopefully gilajay is having a nice time during the vsnp rod.
with hock, adrian, clement, seng yew, lucas. (that's all the names i can remember. haha. sorry gilajay)
dun cry. (:
friends and team mates last for a lifetime.
they do. (:


till then. (:

p.s Jie is back from sports camp and have been sleeping ever since she got home. and she gave me a box of free contact lens solution and a FHM magazine. which is rather cool cause it features the top 100 sexiest and scantily dressed women on earth. besides, i haven read a FHM magazine before and i think i'll have a rather messy nosebleed after reading it. but then, who wants the copy after me? hahahaha. (: (you stupid perverts!!!)

ahh.
now i can't stop thinking about it.
i think the rest would kill me when they heard about it.

i actually regretted.

regretted agreeing to help jen jen to be the school helpers for the council investiture day.
we will have to go on stage. +________+
cause i was like, feeling v groggy, almost falling asleep.
then jen jen called and asked.
i couldn't reject her. (i'm not good at rejecting)

ahh.
i kept thinking about it and now i regretted.
shouldn't have agreed.
shouldn't.
i dun wanna face the whole school on stage.
and i guess the rest wouldn't want to, also.
how?!?!?!?
i still haven told them.
i dun wanna die young. =_-

sheesh.
what a pig am i.
urgh.

okay.
shall read up on organic chemistry now. (i hope)

i'm sorry jie yin, amanda. (haha.)
since i apologised, i might get away from it. (:

pray hard for me.
-sigh-

hullos! (:

it's a rather beautiful day.
despite that awful mistake i made for the listening compre.
it is the last question.
i coloured the right oval.
but i changed it to the wrong one.
urgh.
it have to happen every single time.
maybe i shouldn't change my answers the very next time.
thinkin too much is baddd.
very bad.
tsk!
(i'm very 'gek' over this.)

hrmm!
as usual took the 9 bus to school.
i reached rather early, at.. 8.0-smthing am.
when we're supposed to meet at 8.30.
oh well. (:
it beats being late anyway.

then then then, went to the canteen to wait for the time to pass.
okay, we saw nua nua. (yay!)
he had two pimples on his forehead (oh dear.)
he was having... breakfast and talking to his friends (which is good!)
then we entered the classroom,
was sitting in front,
the radio is rather noisy with the fact that the music isn't really pleasant to my ears, it was gettin on my nerves.
a stupid musical piece can last for 8 minutes!!!
i think it's the ballet piece.
rather annoying.
tsk tsk.

the rest of the music pieces are good. (:
especially the one before the 'josh groban's u raise me up'.
i liked that a lot. the one before the song.
(i heard it somehere before.)
and the song 'you raise me up' was cool (cause i noe how to sing it. haha)
and and the last song is the "vienna's boys' choir that d cannon song" (which is lovely! and jie used to replay it over and over again)

the listening was rather..simple. (:
as in very simple.
compared to the school's.
but i made a bloody mistake. ****! (shall not swear)
chiong outa school as soon as the exam ends,
cause amanda wanted to avoid some people.
haha.
sheesh.
that made me sweat. =_- horrible!

took the 9 bus home.
(almost missed it cause i was too engrossed in sms-ing. typing in chinese always make me think hard. so i'll tend to space out everything cause i'm concentrating on han yu pin yin)
haha. (:

went home! very happy indeed. (:
washed my feet, drank my water,
laid on my bed and read, read , read.
haha.
and while i was reading, jie yin smsed over telling me that,
nua nua took a cab home.
and apparently he was like waving to soo many cabs, and yet not a single one wants to fetch him.
so he stood that, looking very stupid, tryin to flag a cab.
but in the end, he managed to get one.
haha. (:
that poor guy.
den jie yin was telling me that he's rich,
i went like duh. and told her that if he's not rich, i dunoe who is rich liao.
amusingly, she replied with the fact that the president and the prime ministers are rich. haha. (: that silly girl.
den i asked her where did nua nuago.
she provided me with the extra information that he didn't bring anything to school, but she didn't know where he's going. (aww. that's sad)

and and the coolest thing that happened today was that after 2 long hours,
i finally finished the book! (:
i'm really proud. (: what an achivement.
though i admit that i flipped a few pages, cause i find them boring.
but it was a cool book as in, it's full of innocence.
in a way or another. (:

went to sleep after completing the book,
woke up, realising that i'm soooo hungry!
urgh.
(and till now, i still haben had my lunch and i'm still hungry)
and i can go on and on and on, telling you how hungry i am,
but u know i simply refuse to.
cause i'm a good gurl and as a matter of fact, i'll still be hungry after all that grumbling.
and the hungry me will still go on and on like this if i dun end my blog soon.
okay, i am hungry.
i'm really hungry!
i need food.
it's 3.08pm and i haben eat since 8am... =(
(okay okay,jiamin, stop it.)

ahhh ha. (:
what else?
oh, i read 4 stories of the 5th chicken soup for the soul which i borrowed from the school library.
i dunoe why but i seemed to dig into these chicken soup stuff when everyone is over that phase.
haha. (: insanity.
but yeah, it gives me the sense of hope,
the lumps in my throat,
the sympathy,
the love (i always felt so unloved. by everyone.urgh)
and all sugar and spice that make things nice. (:
and proves that i'm humane.
so i'm a human after all. (:

i promise myself to start hittin the books once i get to fnish my lunch.
and i must finish those vcds by today.
or else, they'll be gone by tomorrow and i'll be damn sad. =(

well, dad's home.
meaning that my kway chap is home.
meaning that i'll see you when i see you. (:

okey dokey.
my speakers are down.
so i can't listen to the songs.
hell. =_-

nevertheless, todae was a very good day.
woke up later den 6.30am.
had breakfast made by daddy. (:
YAY. (:

den dad volunteered to drive me to school. (double yay!)
okay, he took a diferent route which i need to walk further but it was a good route choosen because in front ahead, there's one broken down number 81 bus. (sheesh)

went to school.
moaning and grumbling about the lessons today.
tell me how do u survive a friday with 2 boring chem and 2 sleepy biology tutorials? (sorry lek n toh!)

okay,
den went for PE.
our teacher din come. but it's okay.
we got a real cool teacher! (:
some indian lady who appear on tv for gettin 1st in the sprint race in korea.
she was rather fierce though.
didn't like her very much when she reprimanded li yan for not wearin tpjc pe shorts.
(cause it reminds me that i'm wearing the vs pe shorts.i can't find my tpjc shorts lah and all i cud get is those vs ones.haha.)
the clever me, fold the vs logo up, covering the school crest.
we did some stretching den ran for 3 rounds.
those 3 rounds are slow but nice. (:
pretty systematic as in the paces are steady.
not too fast, not too slow.
i can't sprint for long distances for goodness' sake.
then amanda had tummyache so she went to toilet.
while we did those warm-down stretching, jie yin looked rather pale.
and she cling onto me.
and she felt cold.
i mean, very cold.
who in the hell, ran 1.2k will feel cold.
then she started falling.
as in swaying from side to side.
at first i thought she was going to faint.
was rather worried. sheesh.

later to my surprise, we were asked to go to the tennis court! (:
whee! (:
i was so blessed. (triple yay!)
den i was reminded by that cher in front of all,
that there's no such word as quitted.
ha! fine, i'll remember that (that's when i dislike her)

then she divided us into two groups due to the large mass.
our class sticked together and we din go on court but we practiced our skills at the other side where they have a wall to deflect our balls. (:
den i was wacking the balls very hard.
i mean very, so the balls flew all over the place.
haha.
i had to go out twice to pick the ball which had flew outa the place.
k.h helped me once.
and i lost two balls. (haha. the teacher wil kill me if she knows)

the teacher was praising me for the good forehand and backhand skill.
she actually liked my way of playing tenis.
the backhand skill came naturally to me.
(she didn't teach us that when i was using it.)
and i think i actually played better tennis than netball for now.

tennis rocks like hell.
while lu jun and jacsee have to laugh at me for being so violent.
(i told them in return that it's bo bian for me to use such a large force due to my muscles. man, they laughed like crazy.haha.)
i caught pretty much balls which i hit.
felt pretty satisfied when i managed to hit the balls when everyone is complainin' that they can't catch the balls.
but hell, i made sure i was really exercising today.
i ran and ran like crazy to pick up my ball which have flew away. haha.
at the end of the session, i was really drenched with sweat.
whole pe tee was wet,
and the only parts that were dried had my sports bra shape. ha. =__-

oh and jie yin didn't get to play cuz her legs are hurting bad.
so we were telling her that we upgraded our class.
so we're 3rd class now.
(told them that we used to be in the 4th class which is low class. haha)
while she remains 3.5 class. haha.
just because she didn't get to play tennis.
cause i was telling them that rich people play tennis,
those who can't afford tennis, play badminton and table tennis. =X

den went to change.
and damn, my pe tee stinks. (to me)
i was really wet and sticky. haha.
and mui hia asked if i bathed. =_-
den denise told me that my tee stinks a lot.
haha.
den i started asking everyone around me.
jie yin said she could smell the disgusting sweat when i was like so far way from her. (sheesh)
what they said made me quite self-conscious.
like, no girl sweat till they stink.
haha.
prolly except me. (how!?!?!)

then for chem tutorial.
mr tan (aka lek) happily got us the air con room
wich was (the 4th yay) becuz we're sweating like crazy.
but it became to a point where it was so cold. brrr!
because i was sittin directly in front of the air con and the wind is like blowing into me. =_-
he went thru the mid-yr exam paper.
i only bloody need a mark to pass. (to get my 45 mark)
but sheesh, seriously, i din bothered.
and jie yin actually passed her chem todae! (stupid!pang seh me!)
was rather disappointed that jie yin pang seh-ed me and passed the chem paper and i was the only one who failed in this exam in our clique. no1 accompany me! =(
but i'm happy for jie yin and if she passed, she deserve the credit.
i'm stucked with a fail.
and i wasn't really caring much when all the others were finding marks for me so that i can pass too.
heh.
i suck. =(
or say, i'm born as a failure.
there's no point helping me because i dun really care.
so it's meaningless to help one who is unwilling to help herself.

oh yah, den my back starts to hurt awfully.
i can't bend down.
urgh.
stiff spine i got there.

then, it was bio lecture.
hahaha.
toh din come to school today!
because he was on mc.
(5th yay!)
so we went for lunch! (:
chicken rice (again!)
i understand that people are supposed to feel rather sorry and sad for those who are sick or down with some illness,
but as a typical student, it was HORRAY! (though i like toh v much!)
cause we had three free periods in a day due to his absence.
den i received his sms, telling the class to stay in the library to finish up his tutorial.
i told the class that they're supposed to do that tutorial, anywhere they like. (i meant they can slack now and finish it at home)

then we went to the school library for hours.
from 12.45pm all the way to 3pm.
i borrowed three books. (:
i'm happy.
i love the libraries (not the tpjc one)

went home after that.
read the curious incident of the dog in the night-time story book.
am half-way through now.
den fell asleep. (:
woke up at 8, which was the time i'm supposed to finish up my usual exercise.
i skipped my routine twice (today and yesterday)
but it's okay for today i guess.
i did much running today liao. (:

hmm, ate duck rice for dinner. (brudder bought it, haben tok to him for more den a day liao.)
yah and tada! i finished writin up on todae.

oh yah.
i love tennis.
it rawks.
they told me i prolly love tennis becuz nua nua plays tennis a lot.
hahaha. (:

it's a yay day. (:

YAY!

some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

s l e e p i n g m a k e s m e h a p p y.

sheesh.
just read jie yin's latest entry.

to jie yin:
?!##?$@!$@#%#@^%$^@#$!@#~~!#~$$@$%#@%!!!!!!!!!

i hate these stuff.
i mean they spoil relationships.
they ruin good frienships.
for instance, look at the situation between soon huat and me now.
i never talked to him ever since i heard that stupid rumour.
i'd avoid him like plague, just like he'd do to me.
we used to be nice talking friends.
heh.
stupid.

dun just pair me up with my friends.
i'll go crazy.
bonkers.
i wun even wan to write it out.

besides, amanda won't wan me to have a partner now.
haha.
she says i'll sure abandon her one. (:

hahaha.
and like what amanda said:
nua nua got his choice. so does _ _ _ _ _.
and i dun want to spoil the nice nice frenships. (:
so stop pushing me to him.

i got my choice too! (:
and it's none other than cristiano ronaldo.
satisfied with the answer? (:

i'm on silent mode at home now.
mute. (:

cause this life, is too short to give it just for you. and when u feel so powerless, what're u gonna do?
so say what you want. (:

life is like prime numbers. it's logical but u can never work out its rules, even when u spent all your time thinking about it.

well, todae was a downer.
totally spastic, disgusting, moronic.
when the day didn't start well.

all i wanted and prayed for the moment i woke up for school is to,
finish school fast, go home, eat and sleep.
to me, school is a drag.
for the 10 years of education,
i never hate going to school.
up till now,
what's the hell wrong with me?
jc life is supposed to be superb.
supposedly.
it disgusts me. urgh.

as wrote, the day didn't start well.
but i got 5 bucks frm christie. (:
so i'm 5 bucks richer. heh. (:
it was all well (i guess) till chinese lesson.
when amanda slpt in class.
mdm twu woke her up.
and den she requested to go to the toilet.
so she went alone.
after like 15 mins, she's not back.
so i went over to find her.
heh. she's in the last cubicle.
dunoe doing what lah. =_-
i knocked the door, tried to wake her up (just in case she's slping inside).
den we went back to the toilet.
apparently her eyes are all sore and red.
but my mood is relatively bad this morning.
so i didn't really bothered to ask her anything.
den she started to attend to the toilet every now and then for that 2 periods.
she went like 10 times. =_-
when she's stucked in the toilet (again),
the gang asked me to go find her and know the situation.
they reprimanded me for having such low e.q. =__-
okay, (treated like a dog) i went.
din want to disturb her, so i went to the 2nd last cubicle,
stepped on the toilet seat cover. and looked over the wall barrier to see what she;s doing.
ha, guess what?
she's sleeping.
god! god! god! =_-
what's the *toot* she is trying to do man. =_-
so i talked to her and entered the last cubicle when she opened the door.
squat on the floor and listened.
she said her eyes are freaking hurting.
i dunoe.
but i ought to believe in her, right?
i mean, what can i do?
i'm not in the right mood to cheer someone up.
not when i'm so depressed myself. =_-
haha. okay, i suck.
thanks. (:

and she can't stop crying.
i dunoe what to do la.
i'm a sucker at handling such things.
i can't control people's emotions.
i can't predict how they'll feel every now and then.

went to canteen for brekafast.
chicken rice.
it tasted horribly horrid today.
what's wrong with the food or rather what's wrong with me?

went for chem lecture.
tried hard to listen to whatever thingy she's trying to deliver into that pea brain of mine.
den went for math tutorial.
boring. just simply boring.
had to entertain them by singing and crapping.
they seemed happy.
so do i.
but i'm not.
den was english lecture.
got beck my papers.
expected to fail.
voila, i failed.

i got nothing much to say.
but it's depressing to know i can actually do much better than this.
it's just isn't me.
but i'm happy for jie yin. (:
really.

i scored 44.5 for gp.
45 is the passing mark.
i dun just want to bloody pass.
*shakes head*

went home after school.
ha. din go runnin with them cuz it was pouring.
went home, happily thought tt everything will be fine.
boiled water for that cup noodles.
mid-way of boiling water, brother came home.
when he saw me wantin to eat that, he whined and shouted at me.
saying that that cup noodles belongs to him.
i, of course, chouted back, saying that i'll pay for it.
that spastic him, snatched the cup noodles and ran away while i was cutting up those oranges for orange juice.
in the moment of fury, i threw the knife i was holding on to, at him.
then i started crying. (finally)
haha. so i cried while making my orange juice.
plus, the weather is so fine. rainy and stuff. (:

din bothered to chase after him,
so i screamed for dad hoping that he'll help me.
instead, i got reprimanded.
so i cooked my own noodles.
ate.
he came over.
i pushed him.
and said he is not using the water i boiled.
since he wants to be selfish,
i shall be selfish too.
den i pushed him over, and beat him up.
ha. was angry lah. =_-
very angry.

the nicest thing was that i slapped him real hard on the cheeks.
he whacked me back of course.
but it din hurt.
the fighting stopped when grandmama screamed.
and dad came there, chiding me for being childish and barbaric.
i mean, come on dad, u dun have to rub it in further.
i'm screwed enough.
den i continued eating my noodles while crying again.
it's rather hard to cry and eat at the same time.
but i managed to do it. haha. (:

den during his absence near the cup noodles,
being the nice me,
wanting to apologise,
i poured my orange juice into the uncooked cup noodles,
wanting to share my vitamin C.
plus, i'll be happy if he kana tummyache. (:
in the end, the whole untouched cup noodles, was found in the bin.
ha.
good.
when i dun get wad i want, i make sure he doesn't want wad he wants to.
deserve him right.
how could he be so selfish?!?!?!

now it's my turn.
he's so not going to use the shampoo anyway.
i bought it with my own money.
good. (:
he isn't using it anymore.
i'm not going to talk to him.
i'm not going to teach him english or maths anymore.
i'm not having a brother in my family.
i dun have a brother.
i dun need one anyway.

i had enough for a day.
if u want to diss me off further,
u shall be history. heh.

i'm not crazy
i'm just a little u.n.w.e.l.l

well.
i feel rather unhappy now.

why?
it beats me. (:
but never mind. i'll get over it soon.

my head hurts.

lack of sleep.
lack of money.
lack of time.
lack of everything.

i feel so depressed.
urgh.
i feel like sleeping for the whole day tomorrow rather den goin to school.
i feel like running away from everyone, everything and anything.

okay, shall write on today.

went school v unwillingly.
slpt late and woke up earlier den expected. (stupid brudder)
bathed, took the later bus.
den amanda and jen jen were telling me to be happy.
(i wasn't unhappy. i just plain, damn tired)
saw nua nua in the morning (as usual)
and mui hia came to school today. (whee. thank goodness.)
den after assembly, went for some stupid civics rep meeting
den rushed to chem lab for chem SPA.

okay, the procedure went pretty smooth (i think so)
and i think i did everything right.
but i really suck at the calculations.
i din noe how to answer question one and three.
and there's only 3 questions. (ha.)
blubber!

den went toilet den canteen.
it was only a few minutes before the break ends,
when they found out tt my skirt is stained with potassium managate.
and the thing is the already oxisided potassium managate turned brown,
so it looks as if my period came and i stained my skirt with blood.
haha.
den went for math lecture.
it was all on the mid-yr questions and she told us stupid jokes.
den after the lec, was break,
so we went to the chem lab to ask for some acidified hydrogen peroxide.
den voila, with some dapping and rubbing, it's off.
watched them eat. (heh.)
den went for chinese lessons, only to find out tt mdm twu have to leave for chinese oral.
haha. so there wun be chinese lesson! (:
so i spent tt period, cutting, pasting and telling them about cristiano. (: haha.
insane. (:

oh, denise and mui hia, looking v disgusted indeed, told me that nua nua unzipped his pants in front of them in the canteen.
haha.
he wanted to tuck in his shirt. hahaha.
so funny.
and they were pretty grossed out. :P

den went for pw.
okay, i lied to them.
what a sin. :P
(shall not elaborate)

den recopy some biology notes while waitin for amanda.
den we went for.... the dialogue session in audi.
it's boring.
stupid national education talk: principles of goverance.
but i was like staring into space, enjoying the air con and munching on cornflakes nicole bought.
yummy. (:
the session only become funny when the topic racism pops out.
haha.
that indian, malay, singh guys are so defensive. haha.
so funny.

den headed home, while sms-ing hock.
haha. he's nice still. (:
coooked instant noodles for lunch (poor me)
and i finished my wheat grass+fruits+veg juice. (sigh)

watched a bit of 'the bourne identity' movie.
den my head hurts to ache really bad,
and i had to go to bed.
so i slept.
den my headache stung, so i woke up in time.
(realisin tt my alarm clock is more reliable den benny)
changed and went for my daily routine.
3k, 30 sit-ups and attempt pull up.
okay, nothing new, i failed my attempted pull up.
haha. (:

went popular and get that book i so ever wanted for $21.30.
am so damn proud and happy. (:
whee. (:

went home waited for dinner.
had pork porridge todae.
i'll become a porridger soon if porridge is the only thing on the dinner menu. =_-

bathed, did my pw (finally)
and cut more pics of c.r. haha. (:
well, that's all for today.
i'm so damn tired.

good nite people.
good nite jiamin. (:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.
You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger.
May you never take one single breath for granted.
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed.
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens.
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance.
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance-hope you dance (CHORUS)

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance.
Never settle for the path of least resistance.
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'.
Lovin'might be a mistake but it's worth makin'.
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter.
When you come close to sellin'out, reconsider.
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance.
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

(CHORUS) Including harmony with the following backing vocals...
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always [CHORUS] rolling us along.)

(CHORUS) Including harmony with the following backing vocals)
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, [CHORUS] where those
years
have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens.
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance.
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

(slight pause) Dance
I hope you dance.

I hope you armony with backing vocals.](Time is a wheel in constant motion
always rolling us along.) dance.
I hope you dance.

(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years
have gone.)
I hope you dance-hope you dance. [backing vocals at the same]
[CHORUS]

my background music! (:
nice lyrics eh? (:

i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.

flubber.
i'm so flustered.
i still can't get what i want now.

but what i want is very simple.
all i want is.....

s l e e p.

tons and tons of it.
really. =(

sigh.
more pimples. (hurray. =__-)

brother is snoring like a pig now.
fast and deep asleep.
so tempting.
i wan to just drop onto bed and sleep.
sleep. sleep. sleep.
that's all i really need to be happy.
oh well.
2 more hours to go i think.
hopefully. just two more. (:

got like so many things to do.
pressure. pressure.
one can't do without it eh? (:
got to:
1. write my PW essay.
2. mug on chem SPA tml.
3. understand what's being taught during bio todae.
all these spells B O R I N G!

okay. i got 15 more minutes for blogging.
todae is and was tiring.
went to school.
forgot my school tie (so did nazeem)
but i can't lend the extra tie in my locker to him,
because i need it myself. urgh.
so there, assembly was extremely long and boring today.

i had tummyache during the assembly and i desperately want it to end so tt i can attend to the toilet.
heh. it took me much perservance before i can get to the toilet.
ha. (:
den went for civics.
got back my maths paper after civics,
i actually passed!!
i got like 45/72. so i got a B for maths. (:

after maths, was break,
so amanda, me and jen jen went to find the chinese teacher for smth.
after that, we just sat down there and chatted.
jen jen was feeling very down.
that silly gurl. (:
tsk.

after that, saw ah lek,
den talked to him for a while,
actually the truth was that, we sat there listening to him,
crap about cancer, tumours, etc.
haha.
and i actually tot he hates me. =X
he used to, anyway. heh. (:
hopefully not now, not when i having chem spa tml. =_-

den he was late for our lesson cuz he was too engrossed into the talk.
haha.
den he returned our papers to us.
as usual, i failed.
i'm prepared.
i can't say i'm upset.
cuz i'm mentallly prepared.
but that feeling is ...undescriable.
sigh.
guess it's one round round pasir ris park. =_-

den went for chem lecture,
for the 1st time,
i din go and seek for nua nua.
too busy practising and reading chinese passages to jie yin.
haha.
i suck at reading.
den they went thru the questions.

went chinese den.
mdm twu let us practice the oral.
oh den.. bio lect.
it was a boring one.
i was stoning.
so i had to read about it when i reach home.
urgh.
den was break.
had chicken rice cuz i was rlly hungry and there's nth to eat.

den went for oral.
was freaked out.
wad a bummer.
i stutter, i mumbled, i stumbled, i panicked.
and voila, a1 is gone.
right in front of my eyes.
it's not okay.
but done is done.
sigh.

met amanda, jie yin on the stairs.
mr chew came over and made us all go to the toilet to tuck in our shirts.
den we sabo-ed si-ge.
heh. (:

went library.
finished trigo assignment two. (:
den met gab for the civics rep meeting.
boring boring boring.
but still survived.
we're supposed to march. haha.
dear old npcc days shall be revived! (:

and oh. i got to know someone from jing zhong's civic.
he was sittin beside me den.
so i borrowed his newspapers to check out whether there's cristiano in it,
so that i can get it later.
it happened that the papers got featured one pic of him.
and i dun wanna waste 70 cents on a newspaper picture. =_-
so i asked him if he could give me tt page.
den he asked to see the other side of the page and later said i could get it.
overjoyed or smth, i told him i like him.
hahaha.
den we have to change seats, so i left.
but he look weird after i said that though.
hahaha.
and benny says i freak people out.
hell right. (:

den went bball court to find k.h and weiliang with gab to go home together.
in the end, i was made to play a bball match.
the thing was i'm the only gurl,
i was wearin school U and i'm a v lousy bball player.
i dunoe the rules etc etc.
but i managed to throw in 2 shoots through the hoop.
i'm proud. (:

i threatened to go home.
they kept insisting on the last goal.
last goal after last goal.
20 mins past, i'm still there.
after tt very last goal,i pulled weiliang home with me.
ha, that's when they all left. (:
waited for them at the side gate.
watched them do their pull-ups.
den off home.

went home,
saw my hp.
6 messages.
haha. (:
changed and run.
22mins for 3k. sounds pretty bad.
ah well.
did my routine 30 sit-ups and
yet again failed my attempted pull-up.
urgh.
one day. one day. i'll succeed. (:

went home and had dinner.
fish porridge!
never knew fish porridge can taste so nice.
ha, that's the end for todae.

shall go mug for chem spa tml.
sigh.
wish me luck.

this entire week is sick. =__-

reminder to self, amanda and all:

50 thing you ought to be happy for:

1. you're born as a human. not a dog. not a cow. not a chicken.
2. great friends. (like me! whee.)
3. no heartaches. (at least for now.)
4. no forever goodbyes or farewells. (if you love him. let him go.)
5. water. (just on the tap and voila. others dun get to even have a tap. =_-)
6. air (to breathe).
7. light. (remember how freaked out you were days ago when there's a blackout)
8. sun. (without sun, there's no life)
9. peace. (no bombs in singapore eh? =D)
10. food. (durians! seaweeds! twix!)
11. paper (good for mind-mapping)
12. moon. (to reflect on the waters.)
13. roof above your head
14. bed to sleep in.
15. music (to sing and vent your frustrations on)
16. computer (to type and read n jiamin's blog)
17. grass (green is grass. grass is green.)
18. parents (just love 'em.)
19. hair (imagine urself bald!)
20. dandruff-free (save ur money on head-n-shoulders)
21. eyes to see the wonders of the world.
22. ears to hear the pleasant voice of jiamin.
23. nose with nostrils to breathe.
24. imperfections. that's what makes you special.
25. feelings. u can feel. (:
26. fingers. (so that u can blog)
27. toes. (so that u can try ur latest nail polish)
28. mouth. (and those sexy lips of yours.)
29. pimples (implying maturity)
30. life. (others dun even get a chance to live)
31. me (not all people who wants to noe jiamin, gets to noe jiamin.haha.)
32. lungs to breathe (again)
33. eyebrows (so that u can pluck them as and when u want to.)
34. footwear. (try walking barefooted all of ur life.)
35. skin. (black/white/yellow. love 'em)
36. scars for rememberance.
37. tv ( to catch euro 2004!)
38. legs to run.
39. brain to keep those sweet memories.
40. heart to love.
41. nails (so that u can chew them when u're nervous)
42. air-con (that's heaven)
43. elevators (u think u wan to climb 20 storeys everyday just to get home?)
44. pencils/pens (to scribble your tots)
45. handphone (to sms as and when u're darn bored.)
46. changi airport. (some dun get to see an aeroplane for the whole of their life)
47. textbooks (so that u wun fail your major exams)
48. money ( to spend)
49. radio (so tt u can listen to music as u run)
50. knowledge of knowing that u're being loved by me. (whee)

four more hours before sleep.
i've yet to learn my volumetric analysis,
practise my chinese,
and finish the vcds.

i won't be able to finish it all,
but oh well, i'll try.
have to like go running later.
3 rounds everyday.
meaning i'll cover 2.4k daily.

i'll have to attempt a pull-up daily,
till i can do it.

i'll have to do 15 sit-ups.
and the sit-ups aren't what is norm.
it's slated 45 degrees up high.
if my legs lose the grip on the bar,
i think i'll be missing quite a lot of lessons for school.
ha. (:

i dun really know what i dunoe about volumetric analysis.
at least i got the formulas by heart now. (:
oh well,
the newspaper featured cristiano on the verge of breaking down.
it shows that he's human.
and to err is human.
just leave him alone, for goodness' sake.

oh, i saw the book i want to buy in popular!
i'm going to get my hands on it very soon.
as long as i get my wallet beck from amanda. (:

oh yah, i went popular just now.
read the euro 2004 book which costs a whooping $20.95,
when it's so skinny and stuff. blah.
but the colours and pictures are totally gorgeous.
yummy.

den i saw the book i've been seraching high and low in the libraries.
the reader digest's compiled book with the title: the greatest mysteries of the 20th century.
i borrowed it before,
was really fascinated by the mysteries.
and i had to return it before completin it.
so there.
searched high and low in the libraries,
and found it in popular.
and it only costs: $10.90.
heh.
i'm nt buying that,
partly cuz that book freaks me out.
it's scary.
i hate ghostly stuff. eeks!

i remmebered reading smth about portugal, the holy land of fatimah.
in the newspapers days ago.
and and i recalled reading them before somewhere.
and ta da! it's from the reader digest book.
let me tell you what i read just now about this:

it happened in the field of some village in portugal in may 13 1917.
three children, lucia (10 yrs old) and her cousins (jacinta and i-forgot-hisname) saw a beautiful lady, with a halo.
that lady claimed that she's the Lady of Rosary (or smth).
and asked them to meet her at the 6 months later same time that day.
the three kids went off and soon almost the whole village peopel got to know it.
and the thing is, most of them doubt the kids.
so on 17 october 1917, all of the villagers gathered at the place where the kids met the Lady.
the Lady did appeared but apparently only the kids saw them.
and the Lady told them three secrets.
lucia's two cousins died later due to the influenza disease.
lucia later became a nun and wrote down the three secrets.
it was said that the first secret is the description about hell,
the 2nd was a warning for the up-coming world war II.
the 3rd one, is never revealed. but it was written that a reverend happened to read that 3rd secret and he almost fainted.

it's rather creepy.
in my own sense. ha. (:
little wonder why ricardo (the portugal team goalkeeper) said that if portugal win the euro cup, he'll walk all the way from lisboa (or rather lisbon) to the Land of Fatimah to thank God.

and i felt rather disturbed and upset when i read amanda's latest entry.
it makes me feel as if i failed my duty to be a good fren.
it makes me feel so useless.
i'm sorry that she have to escape from reality everyday.
i'm sorry that she is unhappy all the time.
i'm sorry that she have to pretend to be happy.
i'm sorry that she have such a lousy fren like me.

i'm sorry amanda.
please forgive me. =(

more pictures:



the match between holland and portugal



the smiling him. (:


woots! (:


i still like this picture. that poor baby.

it's more than a game.
it's the sweat.
it's the tears.
it's the passion. the love.
it's the glory. the honour.
it's the pride.
it's the teamwork. the spirit.
it's the luck. the miracle.

sigh.
*shakes head*
i hope it was a dream.
tell me, it is a dream.
tell me, portugal win.
tell me, it did not happened.
tell me, cristiano did not cry.

*shakes head*
utterly disappointed with yesterday's match.
greeks won by luck.
not by anything good/powerful/nice.
it was pure shit luck.
pardon me,
but i really need to say: fuck.


looking very dejected after his missed goal.

i was screaming alone, downstairs.
watching them play the last 30mins.
anticipating that very goal that will save portugal from losing.
but that goal, never came.
n e v e r.
all that came is tears, sweat, and disappointment for portugal team.

sigh.
cristiano cried immediately after the whistle is being blown.
den his team-mates started crying.
after a while, he received his silver medal with his red eyes.
not crying, but still red.
after receiving that medal which supposedly belongs to the greeks,
he broke down again.
that poor guy.
screwed up actually more than twice,
prolly due to anxiety and panick.
that poor guy.
he must have take this defeat very hard.


on the verge of crying.

but still, portugal must be very proud.
i want to go there! ^___________________^

i'm sorry for all who lost their money betting on portugal.
i'm sorry that it has to turn out this way.

i bet tml's strait's time will publish his crying moment tml.
sure get the newspapers today.
well, got like a lot of things to do todae.

1. return jie's library book.
2. buy some stuff.
3. learn my volumetric analysis for chem spa.
4. practise for oral tml.
6. finish my 3 vcds.
7. sleep before 10.
8. pray hard for this week.
9. catch up with sleep.
10. exercise like crazy.

i still, love cristiano ronaldo.
shut up if you got nth nice to say about him.

urgh.
i'm so ill-fated.
i can't even get what i want.
that's S-A-D.

after gilajay told me that today's THE NEWSPAPER featured cristiano.
he told me at 10.15pm.
thanks arh. =______________________-
i ran out.
note that i ran. i didn't walk.
to find that it's sold out.
urgh.

when i want strait's times, only the newspaper is left.
when i want the newspaper, only strait's times is left.
urgh.
what a turnoff. =___________-

ran to cheers the 24 hr shop to buy.
it's sold out too.
instead of the 70cents newspaper smiling back at me,
i saw kingsley instead.
yes, i saw him AGAIN.
twice in a day.
what a luck! =________-
den i hit him to say hello.
and he asked me if i were stalking him for the whole day.
ha, i tot he was the stalker! =P

went home pretty disppointed.
was sweating like crazy.
blahh. =(
on-ed the com and played it till now.

oh. i kinda got locked out by brother.
ha, cause i slapped him for being such an irritant.
so irritating can.
with some hyperactive kid following you around and talking crap to you.
plus, his voice isn't that soft.
okay, he hit me back.
what an idiot. =__-

portugal is going to kick ass today.
oh did i tellyou that i pasted all the cristiano's pictures i got into that beloved book of mine. (:
i'm so proud of myself.
and and.... i think i'm going crazy.
too crazy.
heh.

reminder to self:
wake cong up at 2.30am.

good nite. (:

bahh. (:

woke up at 11.42am.
hehe. (:
am so proud.
finished up brudder's breakfast.
and after that, he woke up and came screaming after me.
"*&%@!#! you ate my breakfast!!!"
hahaha. cutish. (:

sat down on couch.
had my eyes glued to the tv.
was watching 'searching for jay chou' that chinese movie.
that movie is...... boring. haha. (:
luckily i dun have to pay 6.50 for it.
heh. (:

was watching 'minority report' for the 2nd time, in my life.
(1st was with my dearest dear 4E people, in biology lab when i was in sec 4 and mr naufal wanted us to watch this. sigh. those were the days.)
was watching 1/2 way den jie came pleading me to go out with her.
didn't want to lah, but i did in the end.
she wanted to get a swimsuit for her sports camp tml.
headed to eastpoint.
found that there's not much variety.
den went tampines mall.
walked around, looking at stuff
and was stuck in the changing room with jie,
while she change makes me.... sleepy. hahaha. (:
saw denise though, when i was leaving.
on my way home, saw kingsley.
to my surprise, my jie oso recognise kingsley.
apparently she used to see him when she went school last year.
she even remembered him as the marist guy.
haha. the funniest thing was she told me,
kingsley used to look horrenous, but his looks are improving. haha.
oh crap. (:

went home, bathed,
munched on a big chunk of honeycomb which jie brought home frm perth.
note that it's honeycomb only, no chocolate.
so it's damn sweeeet(:

and and and i realise something.
i'm gettin fat.
oh no. =(
so i do really need to run later.
urgh.
i hate running,
but i just love the sweat.
how idiotic.

oh, do catch portugal vs greece match tonite at 2.45am.
i'm so going to prove tt adrian wrong.
cristiano isn't a fag!
heh. (:

oh, i gotta finish up my movies.
'the bourne identity' and more.
shall blog again later.
till then. (:

oh!
it's jerry's birthday.
my-used-to-be-loggie-head!
whee...
that silly boy is still watching WWE at seventeen!
god. haha.
just sent him tt song. (:

well well, just don't feel like sleeping.
talking to benny and jie yin now.
heh. jie yin's busy deletin files from her com,
while benny's engrossed in blogging.
i'm so darn bored.
just finished doing their templates for them.
proud. (:

oooh. i just remembered what to blog.
my dreams. i just had dreams last nite.
note that tey're dreams. not one. but two.
whee.

i dreamt of nua nua at 1st.
ahha. damn crap.
actually, i din dream of him but his vs blouse and bag.
kinda weird. =P
but then, i pity him.
awww.
according to my sources from tt ugly gilajay and adrian.
sigh. he was and still is ostracised.
that poor thing.

den i dreamt about dad.
i wonder how is he now.
bet he din know mom's killing me here. =(

ahh. think i better get going soon.
it's late!
i shall start muggin on chem tomorrow.
yah, i will. i hope.

everyone made me so happy today.
especially... you know. (:

ciao~!

why try so hard to fit in when you're born to stand out?

bahh.
-i'm in the excited state-
going through hybridisation soon.
my free electrons in my valance shell are jumping up another level.
*ain't tell you what happened* (:

okay.
today was a pretty good day.
except that the good is on the excellent side.
(:

woke up pretty late today.
cause i slpt at 3.30am.
after trying out templates
and watching 'what a girl wants'
and some korean film 'crazy first love'
both are nice. crappy and sappy. (:

bahh.
took my time to change, den i realised tt i'm running outa time.
ran outa home with my very empty tummy. =(
good thing that kind and nice amanda,
got me sandwiches immediately i smsed her.
yay.
she rocks my grey socks. (:
yeah, how many times do i need to tell u, i love her?

headed to vj.
with amanda. (:
smsed hock. (ahh. it's been a long time.)
and i din expect him to reply.
but he did. (:
see? the second best thing.
and the 'holy' him blessed me for my chinese oral on tues.
yay. i trust him for my chinese.
he's my guardian angel for chinese.
ever since.... last year o lvl chinese. (:
what morale booster. (:

okay, den went dancing and singing with the other 2 vs people.
the dance sucks pretty much.
haha.
but tt 2 vj gurls say i can sing.
yay. the 3rd good thing tt happened.
haha.
(but i bet they're lying. heh. my singing sucks. dai jing always ask me to shut up when i sing.)

den went beach with amanda and jie yin.
whee.
walked a bit and sat on tt bench,
apparently the break-waters are inaccessible due to the high tide.
chatted on hell loads of stuff.
(no. we din gossip.)
den amanda started pairing me up with everyone she knows when i started crapping on nua nua.
chang yi.. blah blah blah. haha.
weird.
i dun understand why nua nua is so detestable.
that poor guy.
bless his poor soul.
but it was a fruitful chat.
i felt a lot better.
i mean a lot. (:
thanks guys.
i mean at least, i got my ambition and dream after that.

shall keep my stupid ambition a secret
and and my dream is to.......
get to portugal before i'm 25. (:
cool? not really. but hell. (:

den when it's about to rain,
me and amanda went to bugis.
amanda wants to get a new bag.
in the end, we ended up empty handed.
haha. and being squashed. yahh. cool? (:

den went to that hawker to eat.
had kway chap and sugar cane juice. (i love sugar cane!)
i bought the sugar cane juice whle she waited at the table.
i took a long time.
many sugar cane stalls are closed. =___-
went the furtherest stall.
knocked into a korean guy behind me.
he apologised.
after buying my drinks, i wanted to go off.
but i din, cuz i found out tt that korean guy dunoe chinese.
haha, so i helped him. he said thanks. woah. (:
4th good thing! (:

arhh.. went home after that.
bus 12. waited very long for it.
i sent amanda up the wrong bus.
she wanted to take 960, but she took 980 when i told her tt that bus is 960.
damn. i took the 8 as 6.
and she went yishun instead of woodlands.
that's the only bad thing tt happened.
i'm so so so so sorry for that.
heh. *puts up an innocent face*

den the bus was crowded.
but i got a seat. yay.
the 5th best thing.

slpt on the bus.
was so tired.
replayed tt peggy su's songs so many times,
that i actually can sing it out now. haha. (:

headed home, realising tt my wallet and bag is with amanda.
(cuz she volunteered to help me wash them after i helped her wash her school choes though i din wash it but it's washed. well.)
so my key is with her.
ma and jie went to our neighbour's wedding.
di went arcade.
luckily grandmama is near the door.
6th good thing. (:

went toilet after a bad tummyache.
7th good thing,
cuase it implies that i've a good digestive system. (:

bathed, went online.
talked to gilajay and his beloved adrian.
haben talked to adrian since ages ago.
so it's the 8th good thing.

talked to daoyong.
whom i haben seen for 5 whole years.
he asked me to watch spiderman with him tml.
haha. turned him down. (:
cuz i respect kennie and zhen wen. hahaha.(:
so it's the 9th good thing.

and i went to the beach and got what i want.
i heard the waves.
i smelt the sea.
it's the 10th best thing.

tell me.
how can one be not happy after all these? (:

when cristiano was a baby:



when cristiano was a child:



cristiano now:


cristiano doing his thing:


ahah. i think i'm crazy.
too crazy.
over him. (:

why do we need death,
when life is dead.

heh.
i feel like going for a dip and sun tanning.
borrowed the computer once again, using amanda's ID.
heh.
the stupid computer assigned is cocked
and we wasted 20 mins waitin for the cocked-up librarian,
and in the end, gave up waiting.
(and she still haben come. bet she've forgetten.urgh)
we decided to just choose a computer oursleves.
chose yet another cocked-up one.
so i switched to this.
the computer i used yesterday.
with a loud keyboard as in it screams really loud when i type.
bahh.
but then , i like it lah.
(compared to the one at home) =________-
that starbhub maxonline service is totally crap.
they said they'll call me back and ah ha, they din.
thanks =_-

bored.bored.bored.
i dun wanna go home but there's nowhere to go oso.
no company.
no money.
no nothing.
heh.

bother bother bother.
why do i have to think so much when i have half pea brain.
stupid me.

ha.
woke up damn late todae.
woke up at the time i'm supposed to leave home.
i woke up 7.01am.
haha.
jie woke me up.
she went like, 'Jiamin. it's 7 liao!'
u bet i jumped up.
den i was wrecking my brains, wondering wad time is the gate closing.
haha. 7.30 duh.
den i got 6 mins to change and refresh and head to sch.
stupid traffic jam.
i thought i'm going to be soo late.
ha, the gate din close and i had a bunch of really great frens waiting there for me.
i love them. (:

i dun really want to think so much about everything.
-shakes head-
but i can't.
the things just pour in like river.
more and more and more.
my head is drowned.
it's heavy.
i'm dying..

ta da! (taken frm gilajay)
haha.
i'm back. (:
yah. time check: 9.09am.

had to leave the com by 9.25.
heh, suddenly i happen to visit the tpjc library so much.
stupid internet explorer.
stupid me.
i think i'm a very lousy computer user.
it's always me when all kinds of computer fault comes out.
horrible. =_____-

blahh.
just had chinese listening exam.
was pretty tough.
haha. the options had the same meanings.
so there.
okay, i admittted that i kinda copied the 1st answer,
cuz i din noe how to answer,
till i saw everyone sittin around me having tt answer.
what a sin.

supposedly to be watchin spiderman 2 todae.
with kenny, zhen wen and amanda.
the thing is.. i dun really go into action flicks.
unless there's like someone i totally dig in, acting in it.
or else, count me out.
besides, i'm bankrupted.
ahh. i still want to get tt book.
hell. =_-
why is my life so miserable?

sheesh.
jie got me a light blue espirit handbag.
haha.
can see that i wun have much use for it.
but i loved it and will still love it,
for it's smth from my jie.
and i hardly get anythin from her.
haha. =P *hint hint*

oh.
cristiano is cute.
he got a yellow card after he scored the 1st goal in the 26th min.
haha.
cause he striped.
blahh. but i guess it's just eyecandy to the audiences
and i have to miss both the telecast and the replay on that!
i'm so damned.
urgh.

i'm going to get the strait's time later.
i'm interested in the sports' section.
whee.
i mean.. portugal leh! *giggles*

i hope portugal wins the euro cup.
heh.
not greece.
not anything. (:
but portugal.

i'm suddenly a soccer fan.
yay.
at least i know what's offside. *grins*

erm...
i'm going home to slp after this.
and learn my mole concept.
i suck in mole.
prolly becuz i dun have much on my body.
*pouts*

have to go to vj tml.
sigh.
i'm pretty damned next tuesday.
chem spa (yucks!) and chinese oral (double yuck.)

okay. and i realised that hippotamus's english is powderful.
as in yah.. explosive powder u noe?
and all i need now is a good sleep.
no disturbance (yay. bro's in sch).
no light (curtains down)
no sound (maybe music)
no nothing but nice and deep sleep.

oh.
talked to some dear friend yesterday who is depressed over.. i-dunoe-what.
i hope u're fine.
i'm sorry that i can't help you or be there be you.
i'm sorry that i can do all these, because u left me when i needed you the most.
and that hurts like (i-shall-not-swear)
i'm sorry but i do hope tt u're fine.


the bottomline is,
for the 1 min u're angry with smth, u missed 60 seconds of happiness.

bahh.
haha.
ended my exams!
yay! (:

in the library now. (:
haha. (:
finished my stupid biology exam.
whee.
haben blog for like ages.
cause my stupid com kana some stupid virus
and all i can see msn messenger.
so there.

haha.
so hungry.
later meeting jia ying and benny
together with jie ying and amanda to tampines mall.
for harry potter.
and and and...
hehe.
all i need is popcorns. (:

oh.
watched the portugal and holland match.
haha.
portugal won again!
luckily i din bet with alan.
ahha.
lucky me. (:

stupid gilajay.
said he will sms me the score in the morning.
ha, but he din.
luckily i saw the match myself. (:
and yes, i saw cristiano ronaldo.
yay! (:
he scored the first goal. (:
and and and... he was topless at the end of the match.
whee. (:
haha, the streat's newspaper's picture of him, looks pretty horrid
cause he looks fat. haha.
but just now when he striped, wow!
look at the hot bod. with the abs.
geez. (: ahha. i'm crazy. (:

-tummy growling-
bahh.
i missed blogging.
haha.

denise is sitting beside me.
i like her during the exams
because she sits right in front of me! (:
and i never check my sittin position,
so she's my landmark.
whee. so nice right? (:
den she so dai one.
tsk! =D

ahhh.. wad else?
hmmmmmmmmm.....errr... er...
oh!
mui hia! missed her.
wondered how she is now.
prolly going to see her after the movies.
that poor gurl.
heh.

and and v v v v v happy announcement!
i found my orange nalgene bottle!
whee. i love tpjc
cuz the aunties all v nice one!
they help people to keep their lost items in the lost and found section!
so nice rite? (:

and and and... jie is coming home tonite from perth.
hmm. hope i got smth nice from her. hehe. :P

and and!!! daddy went taiwan todae.
bahh! i ate the breakfast he made for me.
hehe. nice! (:

oohh... portugal must win the euro cup,
cuz cristiano is in it. hehe. (:

and and and the exciting thing is!!!!
i saw NUA NUA! whee.
ahha. he's sitting on 1st row 4th table.
he soo cuttee!! hehe.
i wan to pinch his cheeks!
he v smart.
i like him.
and his money.
haha
and his tofu body.

ooh. just now bio exam,
was chionging like siao,
turned my head and saW one guy sleeping??!?!?!?!
he's sleeping?!?!? while i'm like going crazy over bio.
he damn qiang. i bet he dunoe how to do!

aya, i gtg liao.
going to be damn late! (:
haha, ciao!