i am going down to BK and have a hershey's pie now.

and yes,
today marks the day to determination and happiness.

^____________^

and hershey's pie never fails to make me happy.
just like twix.

i bet only yaw wvee knows this.
hahaha.
right? (:

yesterday night was hell.
dad was so irritating that we pissed each ohter off a great deal.
urgh.
and i'm still not going to talk to him today.

been thinking and nua-ing for the past 2 hours online.
reading, reflecting, thinking, and deciding.

maybe i'm my own part of wishful thinking and
yes. it's time to grow out of it.
time to grow out of everything.
of you.

it's time to grow up.
time to live my own life,
the way it is suppoed to be.

goodbye (:

haven't been bloggin.
nice one really.
cause it shows that i haven't been spendin all my free time away online.

and the thing is, i haven't have any free time.
or rather, i am not supposed to have any.
with all that truckload of owed/undone/new tutorials and
bloody tests that i studied hard for, and yet never pass any single ones.

i shouldn't have any bloody time to waste.

oh well,
school had been horrid.
and it will be horrid until a levels are over.
but maybe, it'll be less horrid if i don't have 4 friggin trainings per week.
no wonder, i have been failing everything.

tell me how to concentrate on ur work when u're so so tired
and u're 90% physically drained.
hell.
and the thing is, the captain doesn't get it.
he doesn't.
and i think, that's because he haven't been failing everything like i do.

or maybe it's my fault that i don't have the capability to balance my time.
or maybe i'm just plain stupid and weak.

and i'm really sick of getting test papers who less than 50% of the total marks.
i don't like the feeling of being a failure.
i don;t like being disappointed.
i don't like the feeing of knowing that i'm not as good as the people in my class.

but yet, i have been experiencin that over and over and over and over again.
and i felt so useless and stupid.

but it's okay.
i got 10 more months to prove myself.

i'm seriously, learning how to take things at my stride. (:
actually, i love myself.
hahaha.
out of point. totally.
but never mind. (:

anyway, this week will be hell again.
got bio spa, chem spa trial, maths test, chem test.
ahhh!
school is driving me insane.
i'm terribly worried for my SPA(s).

anyway, there's training today,
yet i didn't go for it.
not without a reason though. (:
me and my swollen feet.
it itches and swells like maddd.
painful.
but i think it's better than going for training.
so yay, to my insect-bitten feet. (:

okay,
shall do a summary on this week,
not that i can remember what i did.

monday, erm, went for training!
there's only me, leah and fiona, and the j1s becuase the rest are attending talks.

and i can't remember anything about tuesday.

wednesday, went sea training and kana bitten by the insect la.

thurs, got back my chem and bio test papers.
failed both.
how nice.

friday, went sea training!
it was so tiring that i went home, ate dinner, bathed and watched the tv until 10.30 and fell aslp.

sat, i woke up at 9am!

i'm so so happy cause i had more or less about 11 hours of sleep.
goodness me. (:

and good luck to the j1s who will be getting their results. (:
and to benny, who wil be having tests next week.

laters! (:

hahaha.

i'm just happy.

for no rhyme or reason.
oh man,

life is going to be better.
with my own plans in hand. (:

oh, i want to pass my bio test tml. (:

alrighttt.

i got great achievement today.
thanks to huili and zeqi for their motivation.
yay. (:

early morning,
i went for db training.
yeah, as usual, it sucks.
or rather, the weak me, suck.
the training sessions are all extended,
4 times per week instead of three,
even the time per training lengthens.
i mean, it's not that bad.

not bad if i can cope with my studies now,
but apparently, that's what not happening now,
or else, i won't have any needs for remedials, instead of mentoring.
and i won't fail every single test i took and
i get to complete all my tutorials in time.

but sadly, THIS ISN'T WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW.
-sulk-

and i think everything is getting so communist-like.
blame it on gp.
but anyway,
i think mr lim have done a great job teaching such a wonderful student like me.
haha.
i love singapore for democracy!
haha. (:

anyway, after trainnig,
i wanted to bathe, but was too tired to,
so with my sweat-dried body,
i fell asleep on my bed.
haha.

a bit disgusting eh.

and the thing is, i woke up, soaked in sweat.
heh.
the weather is so freaking hot.

so i decided to go swimming and shun bian sun tan.
and that's what i did. (:
the sun is so so so nice. (:
but the swimming complex is packed with kids, who were havin swimmin lessons.
heh.
it's not that good,
but i seriously have nothing against kids.
really.

then i walked a long way to a certain bus stop cause i got wrong direction sense.
but never mind,
then went tampines library,
wanted to chiong my integration,
but failed to complete it,
cause i have to rush home to go out again.

then went to mum's fren's place
ate ate ate like a pig,
thus today's training and swimming session, are all WASTED.
urgh.
me and my stupid appetite.

anyhow,
i somehow landed up online.

so i better leave.
byebye! (:

fuck you, jiamin.
fuck.

what the hell do you think you are trying to do.
goodness me.

maybe what i need to learn is detachment.

heh.

maybe they are right.

what doesn't kills you,
makes you stronger.

alright.

friendster has cocked up.
AGAIN.
urghh.

anyway, v'dae was niceee.
very nice.
i got loadsa stuff from everyone.

i got a cd and earrings from amanda,
erm.. testubes from chuen yang, hui li, hui sin, sam sam and xin xin,
a straw from hui xian,
a flower from xue ping and yaw vwee.
chocs and sweets from jen jen, kah chou, weiliang and gang, and a lot more people!
a grasshopper, xiao don and earrings from eng kuan,
paper rose from liyan,
postcard and pillow from mui hia,
errr.. and many many more lah!
haha, it made me happy. (:

then went bugis to eat with xin, sam and amanda,
wanted to go V8 but long queue ahh.
so we went long john.
(haha. note the huge difference.)
then i think we saw slyvester.
maybe it's him, maybe not.
but i'm sureeee it's him.

then was seiyu for naufal's baby's present.
then we chionged cold storage for yu sheng.

anyway, my rabbit gave birth to 4 baby rabbits! (:
on v'dae summore. (:

then we had yu sheng for breakfast today!
haha. (:
ms chua paid for it! (:

then we're going to singapore river together. (:

thurs, we are going for free movie with mr lim.
he's paying for us. ALL.
he wanted to pay for our class's transportation leh
taxi summore.
heh.

aya, training is mad today.
heh.

and i'm so lousy in maths tt i am the only 2nd person to go for maths REMEDIAL,
while the rest goes for MENTORING..

urgh.
stupid meeeee. :(

i'm so so very disgusted.
met a very very shallow/dense fucking flasher online.
urgh.
shit.
early in the morning summore.

i lost ALL my appetite.

anyway, i gtg.
ciao.

i hate guys.
especially naked ones.

heh. :(

just came back from amanda's house.
talked all the way from woodlands to tanah merah with sam sam.
i missed those guys.
and we ate like pigs at her place.
steamboattttttttt.
yayyy. (:

but it's okay.
i don't have a date for valentines'.
so do they.

so we're meeting up on monday to celebrate together.
again again.

maybe not having a date on monday isn't that bad afterall.

maybee.

am supposed to go run a few rounds just now.
but due to the lack of discipline,
i'm stuck in front of the comm.
so i continued to upload my photos.

hopefully it'll be done today. (:
there's simply too many to be uploaded. heh.
shall do my work too. (:
going to amanda'se house in woodlands, alone. :(
but never mind, i like the long bus journey with 969. (:

i went on friendster,
and found out a lot of stuff. (:
but it wasn't good stuff. heh. :(
but never mind,
it's time to let gooo.

i will try.
sucks.

alright.
i won't be sad..... for long. (:

yeahh.

i'm drained.
heh.

went school today.
there's only three periods of lessons and one long performance.

so 5 minutes before the third lesson (gp) end,
me and amanda scurried out of the school compound.
waited an whole hour for everyone to assemble and the bus to reach.

went back to manjusri.
yay.
saw many many many of my dear teachers.
i miss them.
(to think that i wished, in the past, that they will be sick so that there'll be free periods.)
gui was as crappy as usual.
mrs lim, mrs tan, ms tay, mdm ernie.
blah blah blah. (:
i love 'em.

then we went to bugis.
zan yan and chang yi wanted to watch movies.
but in the end, we didn't.
instead, we got a call from chee san,
he told us that naufal's wife is giving birth right now.
yay!
naufal has been waiting for his baby for ages.
i'm reeally really happy for him. (:

then we went suntec.
amanda bought herself earrings and bought me earrings too.
that was my v'dae present.
yay.
i love herrrr. (:
and amanda bought a new watch from swatch (again.)
i don't know why she so rich ah.
but never mind.
i learnt that materials wanted, are not necessary needed. (:
i shall not envy. haha. (:

then we walked round and round.
until everyone got tired and we all went home.
oh, did i mention that i fell asleep on the train?
i was that freaking tired.

photocopied my ic den chionged outta home again.
i think i saw darren, with his botak army haircut on the mrt.
he didn't see me,
and i was very tired.
so i just basically didn't bothered to say hello.
haha.

saw the people at bengawan.
oh boy, i'm so glad everything is over. (:
but there's still phelgm in my throat,
so i can't sing, nor scream nor, talking in high pitch.
this sucks.
heh.

today was a good day,
cause i bought everything i wanted.
the 'tuesdays with morrie' storybook and shampoo.
haha.

i'm satisfied.
alright.

let's end with something i told eng kuan,

there's somethings that you can't control,
so control the ones you can.

that's what i got from watching mulan tonight. (:

i think cupid is going haywire.

wrong direction!
wrong direction...

i can't steer it.
i can't.

not you.
not you.

nooooooo......

damn. can't be you.

am i not pretty enough?
is my heart too broken?
do i cry too much?
or am i too outspoken?

don't i make you laugh?
or should i try it harder?

am getting a headache.
me and bro gambled dad's 76 bucks away.
heh.
as in we lost his 76 dollars.

sucks.
this implies bad luck.
tsk tsk.

today isn't too bad.
watched nice shows. (:
that 'wo jia you zhi he dong shi' is damnn sweet.

i think i'll marry any guy who did the thing as louis khoo did.
hahaha.
but until, i think.
as in, think only. (:

and louis khoo is soo handsomee! (:
that girl also very atiitude and style. i like! (:

there's the stephen chow and andy lau later.
yay.
12.45am. (:

and oh!
i saw ze qi yesterday.
hahaha. so unexpected, really! (:

then i think i saw andrew.
some very very cute guy from....... (:
hahahaha.
too young for me though.
tsk tsk.
wasted.
was like looking at tt guy while he stared back at me.
i thought he looks familar.
i even turned my back to see him again,
realising that he also turned back to look at me.
hahaha.
amusing.

and i think i'm such an irritating person.
but i can't help myself. (:
i better learn how to curb my irritating-ness.

anyway,
there's some stupid wooha over unknown people tagging other people's tagboards.
i think these taggers are either, bloody bored/free or they're childish.
i mean if you want to tell someone they suck, tell them directly, face-to-face.
or else, just shut up and don't do anything stupid.
it's really really childish and silly.
i mean, what's the point?
it's such a cowardly act.
spoiler sia.

but again,
the new year is simply too happy to get annoyed.


so there. (:

50 facts abt me!!!!!


1.Your name: jiamin
2. Where were your parents born? mum is a singaporean. dad's an indonesian.
3. What is the last thing you downloaded? only one by yellowcard.
4. what's your favourite restaurant? anything that serves crabs with deep fried man tou(s) will do. (:
5. Last time you swam in a pool? last december i think. in the rain.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? zillions of times if huay kuan is considered a school.
7.How many kids do you want? two! (:
8. Type of music you DISLIKE most? techno.
9. Are you registered to vote? no. underaged. heh.
10. Do you have a car? no. not even toy cars.
11. Do you like rollercoasters? oh yes!
12. Ever prank call any1 b4? when i was in primary school i think. haha.
13. Chattin with? yu teng and sanjay online
14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving? both! but skydiving will be superb.
15. Are you shy? to a certain, yeah. but many will beg to differ. many will go, jiamin will shy de meh? haha.
16. Do you think you're popular? i can't be bothered with popularity.
17. What's the size of your bed? standard single bed size.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? not really. the bersatu and bersaru confuses me. really.
19. Bath or Shower? shower. save water. (:
20. Best movie you've seen in the past 4months? haven't had any time to see any movie but i remembered the new police movie by daniel wu. it rocks. (:
21. What's the next movie you want to see? ai do ai do. it looks funny. heh.
22. Chips or popcorn? popcorns. yay.
23. Have you ever broken any1s heart? yes.no. maybe.i don't know.
24. Status? single and available. not looking. haha.
25. Are you a good cook? duh. i like to watch the meat sizzle and bubble in the hot oil.
26. Orange or Apple juice? both. i love fruit juices. (:
27. Who you last went out to dinner with and where did you go to? i was at home, eating reunion dinner with my family. then we went to bugis. heh.
28. Fave drink? fruit juices! or milo. (:
29. Best thing in the world? money. (*smirks* i'm being practical)
30. Have you ever broken a bone? yeah. not my bone though. the chicken's.
31. Have you ever won a trophY? duh. in pri school, i got loads. then it started to decrease as i grow older. heh.
32. What is your favorite board game? monopoly, of course. haha. then they will say i'm jian. =_-
33. Someone in mind? yeah. (:
34. Do you still love your ex? don't have any. grateful for that. (:
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? haha. i normally follow the dress code.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? pills.
38. Who are you going to marry? *nudge* you know! you know! (:
39. Who would you like to meet? *points to the above answer* the same one!
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? yeah. so unlike me.
41. what's your favorite songs right now? breathing - lifehouse.
42. Where would you go for a romantic evening? portugal. haha.
43.How many pairs of shoes do you own? i don't even have time to sleep. where got time to count the number of pair of shoes i have. =_-
44. Last song stuck in your head? only one - yellowcard
45. Any pets? 1 gerbil, red fishes and 2 rabbits. (:
46. Best Tv show rite now? desperate housewives
47. What is one thing you would like to learn to do? learn sign language.
48. What do you do when you are bored? listen to songs.
49. How would you want someone to appreciate you? just tell me that you love me, will do.
50. What is the one thing that you are grateful for today? that everyone i love, is alive. (:

you're my only one..

alrightt.
it's the chinese new year alr.
my long awaited day, have finally arrived.

from today onwards, there will not be anymore eyebags. (:
no reason for it to be there anyway. (:

yesterday was horrid.
i missed seeing my andy lau show.
heh.
mum and dad were so stressed up,
cause we weren't helping out with the spring cleaning.
they started screaming at me and my siblings,
then they proceed to kpkb at each other.

parents. =_-

oh well,
i felt so so happy thesedays.
i wonder what's wrong with me.
never mind.

someday we will know.

and yeah, full force ahead! (:

i love my friends.
as in, really really LOVE them (:

i wonder why.

the emotions.
are constantly rapidly changing.

people around me, are indeed suffering.
pardon me.

it's the hormones.
involuntary.
can't help it.

can't be helped.

but i was pretty happy with myself today and yesterday.
yay.

yesterday, i bought that jollibean bottled soya milk and shared it with yilin.
gave ivy the bottle.
minor stuff, but it made me happy.
goodness, what was i thinking about?

today, i walked an old lady to her bus stop when she took the wrong bus.
and it happened that i alighted at the same bus stop as her.
so.. might as well la.
nicole saw me though.
she thought that old lady was my grandmama.

anyway,
it's time.

time for a new start.

yay. (:

I don't want another pretty face.
I don't want just anyone to hold.
I don't want my love to go to waste.

I want you and your beautiful soul.


you. you. you. you. you.

ah. never mind.

this is what they wrote:

Your score is:
113

Of all the weird test takers:
13% are more weird,5% are just as weird, and 83% are more normal than you!

i'm weird.

yay!

cong broke his promise again.

i felt so loved today!

today was sooo great because:

1. i sat beside jerome in the audi for maths today and he gave me a chewing gum that unblocks my blocked nose! how nice of him to give me that when he knows that my nose wasn't functioning well. (:

2. my xiao ai aka. lover, gave me strepsils today. cause she knows i got sore throat. (:

3. amanda bought me fishermen's fish lozenges to prevent my throat from aching. (:

4. eng kuan gave me his flu medicine in the canteen. (:

5. chem spa wasn't that bad. (:

but the bad thing was,
i was soo sleepy throughout the 8.5 hours working.
urgh.
now, i can't sleep, must draw the chem curve.
yucks.

ciao then. (:

and oh, i'm pregnant.
with xiao xiao ai! (:

today was the college run for year 2005.
ahhuh.

and today i've seen both sheer desperation and determination.
and of course, we have seen it from xue ping and shu hui.

xue ping, it's okay.
you tried your best. (:
we know! (:
we love you. (:

and shu hui,
i'm so darn proud of you.
that poor girl was pushed by some really desperate girls behind her, during the start of the race.
and some, even step on her to get through.
so mean can.
despite the pain, she ran on.
and she succeeded in finishing the race.
oh, we love you too. (:

and hui sin was terribly disappointed that she was the 31th position.
i mean, it's over.
and getting the 31th position is superb already! (:
of course, again, we love you. (:

besides, i felt sorry for that guy.
he was supposedly the first to come in for the 5km race.
but at the last 100m, he collapsed and lose his consciousness.
the horrid thing is that, he woke up, with no ranking at all.
and yeah, he cried.
that's human.

then i realised, i like guys who can cry.
as in, knows when to cry.
i think, crying makes one more humane.

righhttt.

back to organic chemistry for chem spa skill a tmr.

and oh,
i like cheng wei's spirit.
wah... i felt so motivated today.

tsk tsk.

alrights.

just to thank everyone. (:

xiao ai: lover! get well soon if nt nobody take care xiao ai.. tml i buy u sweets..

yc~: jiamin! get well soooonnnnn!! dun tire urself out so much for ur work! take care..

*nicoleee`: SURPRISE?! hahaha i'm sick too so sad rite.. get well soon k? so we can gorge on food during cny! take kare!

sAm: hey! i do care ok! juz tt now den i know u're sick. pls take extra care of yrsef and i wanna c u get well b4 the day of our steamboat!!

wei siong: need any song to heal faster ? hahahah get well soon , cant wait for u to hit zhen yi


yeah.
i love you guys. (: