blahs.
finished ssc(sea sports club) ltc (leadership trainin camp) alr.
reached home and koon for 6 hours.
how good is that?

and i am very proud to say that leah and i were the slackest people in camp.
monday was the most hectic one.
cycled through ubin.
and we followed the wrong clique (powerpuff boys). haha.
fed a lot of mosquitoes.
killed a lot too.
benedict said i am so going to hell for murder. heh.
and my ass hurts.

at night, leah and i were paired to be one of the slackest station masters.
we just sat there. talked cock and bluff juniors,
while trying to make them kinda 'kiss one another' with the biscuit. woots.
and we sat there and ate 4 breakfast bars and 1 roll of digestive biscuits.
wa lau. i am never going to finish up the energy i consumed lah.
fat already lahh.
we went to james' station.
so freaky. that run-down house.
stupid james.

he made them do what he didn't dare to.
made them walk up to the second storey in the house. heh.
the house itself was freaky enough lah.
once you enter the house, u'll find three full length mirrors.
one of them has red stain one.

after that station, they have to walk to old changi hospital.
jeremy and the rest of the people. explored that whole place lah.
ward by ward. :(
wa lau.
i only reached that carpark of the hospital, i am scared alr.
so i head back to camp.
ayah, anyway, the juniors only walked the outside of the hospital.
but if you ask me to walk, i die oso wun.

back at camp,
a group of humnji(s) gathered.
haha. humji(s) like us.

and on our way back, we spotted several transvestites.
not bad lehh.

then that night, i slept very soundly.
from 2.30am all the way to 7am i think. hoho.

so the next day,
got up and got bread!
nutella and tuna spread.

wasn't involved in the beach activites.
so played silly self-entertaining games with ms ho.
then gordon suddenly ask me and leah to be one of the station masters.
and we had to follow morgan and gang.
okay loh.
not too bad lah.

he only made us walk one bus stop length only.
but we got to drink his green tea la.
and since i sweared at him, i shall forgive him.
haha.

and due to his blunder,
we found toilets to release my tummyache.
wa lau.
go thrice leh.
so malu.

stupid cheng wei lah.
i thought he live near there so i sms-ed to ask him where got toilet nearby.
wait for him to reply, i die of pain alr lah.

and it rained.
leah and i were so elated okay.
not until we reached back the camp site and found our bag in our soaked tent which collapsed. heh
ayah.
anyway, we waited at our station for 4 hours, only to find no1. heh.

after that was dinner then campfire.
not bad lah. campfire. haha.

afterwhich, we went to slp,
and asked people to wake us up for debriefing.
apparently, when we wake up it's 7am alr. hahaa.

nasi lemak for breakfast.
then we built sandcastles.
dig until i siao.
sian alr, leah and i went to take care of the belongings.
den it was time to go home.

took bus 9 with kingsley.
ahhaha.

then slept all the way lah.
ayah, i am itching all over.

ayah, training tomorrow.
yeah. (:
jia you. jia you. 12 days. (:

ahh.
gp paper was such a failure.
*shakes head*

but sometimes, good thing does come with the bad.
i did my first pull up today.
woots. (:
been waiting for this day for ages.

and we thought we saw cheng wei at sdba today.
he is so going to HAHAHHAHA, if i were to tell him that.

hard work does pay off, eh? (:

ahh.
very tired.
training was mad today.
did a lot of things.
very very tired. :(

and i found back my motivation.
hahaha.

jiamin is going to study hard during the june holidays, isn't she?

had a mini netball game with my people today during class PE.
and i found out that actually,
things that are good to you, might not be good for others.

for example,
raining.
we just love raining, don't we?
such hot weather, it's little wonder.
but.... everytime it rains,
snails and earthworms have move away from their environment...
all the way to concrete grounds.
so that they won't get drown or something.
cause they are dispersing all around on pathways, ball courts, everywhere.
people who don't even bother looking at the floor, WILL STEP ONTO THEM.

hell.
just imagine a tree crashing onto you.

how does it feels?

i am currently addicted to that mcfly + busted song: build me up, buttercup.
there's a line which goes:

why do you build me up, buttercup, just to let me down.

and i thought i felt that way now too.
ahh.

feeling like shit thesedays.
and i don't know why either.
ayah, who cares.

it's time to seriously move on.
everyone changed.
so did you.
you are no longer the person i can confide to.
no longer the person i idolized.
hell.

i will not screw anything up, at least, not because of you.
not anymore.

i am not o-fucking-kay.
urgh.
good night.

why didn't you reply me. :(

if things doesn't work out,
why do we have to meet in the very very first place.

without you,
there's no heartache. :(

argh.
i am so so so friggin tired. :(

anyways, sorry for not bloggin thesedays.
everyday is a rush.
and with my computer cocking up,
life is really really tough. :(

yawns.

BEACHBOYS!
i know this jap drama have been aired donkey years ago.
its production was in 1997. haha.
jie just got a special edition vcd of it.
so i rewatched the jap drama special serial (for the second consecutive time)
woots.

the actors are soooo cuteeee. (:
and it's really funny lah. (:
i think if i still can get hold of the vcds, i might just spend all my money on it.
hahaha.
if only, it's still on sale.
which is totally impossible.
blah.



ah.
tml marks the end of my 1 star kayaking course.
yay. can't wait.
and i'll miss college day tml.
i wonder if it's good or bad.

sigh..
will get to see letitia tml.

nothing beats meeting a good frisbe partner. (:

i wanna end this like the beachboys letter.
it wrote:
GOD BLESS YOU.
WE ARE THE BEACHBOYS.




swoons. (:

yay.
i just saw my darlings. and we had a filling time.
urgh.
filling as in really really full.

and funny. (:
i miss them (:

anyway, i had a bad dream last night.
and friendster has to cock up. :(
i hope it isn't true.

i still can't forget you. :(
not entirely.

time. more time.

woots.
the weather is mad.
it's freaking hot nowwww.
perspiring like maddd. :(

anyway, first things first.
my number one count of blessing is that i got a hug from liyan today.
cause i was freaking out.when bio tut is over and it's time for the blood donation. heh.

second blessing i got today is that the nurses and doctors are really nice. (:
hahaha.
the doctor even commented on my email add, saying that it is long.
one nurse said that i decorated my particulars very nicely.
another wrapped a yellow band for me after everything.
(even when she already prepared a purple one for me but i insisted on a yellow one.)

third blessing is that i got to save someone's life by donating a packet of blood.
the procedure was fast.
my rate of blood flow is super fast. 5 minutes and everything is done.
(faster than weiliang. YAY.)
i am super proud of myself. (:

fourth blessing is that i didn't cry during the whole thing when i actually wanted to.
heh. it's not that it's painful. but i was freaking outtt.
and yeah, the injections didn't hurt as badly as i thought i would.

fifth blessing is that i got to see that big fat needle pierce into my arm!
the nurse was like telling me i dun have to see when i am scared.
and although i was, i acted as if i wasn't.
so i just stared. hahah.
darren is right.
it's amusing how the fat needle prick into your arm and yet it doesn't hurt.

sixth blessing is that i get free stuff!
stickers, iron tablets, biscuits, drinks. hahah.

seventh blessing is that i am going to stayover at amanda's place tonight.
cause i had to be there early tml for teck's birthday party and i dun think i want to wake up so early.
going later after i finished sleeping.
i think i need sleep badly.
replenish haemoglobin(s)! (:

eighth blessing is that i get to see my darlings tml.
wheee.
i can't express my joy.
it's been ages since i last saw them.

ninth blessing is that this school week is over.
OVER. finally.

BUT WAIT.
here comes the bad ones.

1. i had to miss training today. urgh. it's really not on purpose de.
2. maths n bio test next week. urgh. bother bother.
3. pang sehed hx for training today. :( SORRRY! absence makes the heart grow fonder mah.


oh well, here comes sleep. (:

(x) i have a cell phone.
( ) i am an only child.
(x) i am a shopaholic
(x) i love dangly earrings.
( ) i am doing drugs
( ) i am an alcoholic
(xxx) i love cold weather
(x) i'm obsessed with the computer
(xx) i have shot a gun before.
(xxxxxx) i can't live without music.
(x) i have zero tolerance for ignorant people.
(x) i have ridden on a motorcycle before
( ) i'll be in this town forever.
( ) i've been to 5 other countries.
(x)i get annoyed easily
(x) i eventually want kids
(x) i have neat handwriting
(x) i have more than a few horrible memories
(x) i am addicted to chocolate
(x) i have siblings
( ) my parents are strict
(xx) i love airplane rides
( ) i love taking pictures.
(xxx) i hate people who are fake i really cant tolerate them
(xxxx) i can be mean when i want to be
(x) my parents care about my grades
( ) one of my best friends is a guy
( ) i have way too many purses
( ) i'm obsessed with lip gloss
(x) i am easy to talk to
( ) i cry easily
(x) i hate when people are late
(x) i procrastinate
(x) i love springtime
( ) i have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
(x) i love to sleep.
(xxxxxxx) i wish i were smarter.
( ) i'm afraid of flying.
( ) i HATE drama.
( ) i bite my nails
( ) i have been on a 9 hour car ride
( ) i never fight with my parents
(x) i love the beach
( ) i have never had the chicken pox
( ) i have gone out in public in my pajamas
( ) i can't control my emotions.
( ) i have a best friend
( ) i have moved more than once.
(xxxx) i truly love my friends
( ) i have/had braces
(x) i love to write.
(x) i have never broken a bone
(x) i love my computer
( ) i love guys that play guitar
(x) i'm a happy person
(x) i love to dance
(x) i love to sing.
(x) i love to act crazy and be funny
() i love cleaning my room
(x) i tend to get jealous very easily
( ) i love cute boxers
( ) i love night better than day.
( ) i have been on the phone for over 5 hours at a time.
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) i don't like to study for tests
( ) i have had pneumonia.
(x) i am too forgiving.
(x) i have horrible sense in direction.
(x) i miss elementary school.
( ) i love kisses on my forehead.
(x) i love the color pink.
(x) i love to sew.
( ) my eye color changes
( ) i play on a guys sports team
() i become stressed easily.
(xx) i hate liars.
( ) i like comfy sweatpants
( ) i can play the piano
(x) i love to play in the rain
(x) i love my family.
(x) i hate needles
(x) i am a perfectionist.
( ) i always wanted to learn to play the guitar
(x) i hate the feeling of failure.
(x) i have friends in other countries
(x) i know how to cook
(x) i can speak another language
(x) at times i can be quite selfish.
(x) at times, i still act like a little kid
( ) i have allergies
(x) i love babies
(x) i love to read
(xxxx) i wish i were more motivated for school.
(x) i love getting stuff in the mail.
() i have problems with letting go of old feelings/memories
( ) i hate being alone.
(x) i love friends.
(x) i love summer.
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxx) i love the weekends.
( ) i love black eyeliner.
( ) i can type with one hand.
( ) i wear make-up.
( ) i have never rode on an underground subway.
( ) i go to church.
(x) i sing in the shower.
( ) i have never been camping.
( ) i usually get what i want.
(x) i have been on stage before.
(x) i love roller coasters.
( ) my nails are painted right now.
(x) i have never been skiing or snowboarding.
( ) i have a crush.

what crap.

blahs.
for today i won't rant and whine.
for today only.

because i am in such a foul mood that i decided to make use of what i read from the magazines.
it always teaches people how to count your happiness instead of all the shit that you went through.
yeah. one way is to write down all the good things down.
and then you will realise how fortunate you really are at the end of the process.
okays. let's start.

1. although it's not full score for napfa. at least i got A for 5 items. and one C for sit-and-reach. better than nothing. at least it's a gold.
2. both of my SPAs for over for good. whee. no more practical or tummyaches due to panics anymore.
3. i passed my GP compre surprise test (which was done with the minimum concentration.)
4. amanda bringing breakfast for me everyday so that i won't be hungry (jealous?)
5. bitching with leah and hx. (they can really tickle my funny bone.)
6. asking leah, how her day went , nv fails to amuse me. (not bad, ugly, not bad.)
7. money. at least i got the money to buy that new blackcurent and cranberry peel fresh drink. and grapes.
8. food. i like food. it makes me happy. HAHA.
9. blood donation tml. (i am going to save a life though i am freaking out alr.)
10. music. it prevents boredom. heh.
11. mtv(s). (yay. it beats people who doesn't have scv. haha.)
12. washing the dishes later (i hate this. but then. the plates will be grease-free leh. aya. sacrifice lah)
13. computer with internet. (yay. i can blog!)
14. jennifer and amanda (hahaha. they are damn funny.)
15. leah (hahaha. i still rem the rubbish collecting process we went thru.)
16. the db girls (29 more days. jia you...)
17. my limited vocab. (so that people will have things to laugh at me. wu liao)
18. the ability to breathe. (i am ALIVE. whee.)
19. that 9pm show later (yay. thomas ong. woots)
20. the very fact that tml is friday. (i adore fridays. who doesn't?)
21. i am meeting my darlings on saturday. FOR FOOD. FOOD and more FOOD. (:
22. edward chew asking jen my name and then he said that i am fit. woots.
23. light. the dark freaks me out badly.

hahaha.
okay.
i guess it does help a bit.
dinner time!
yay. FOOD.

byebeyebye.

i loathe guys.
especially those who like to break their fuckin promises.
(which i think almost all did already.)

you people really pissed me off.
it's not as if i owe you anything okay.
i don't.

it's your fuckin birthday presents.
not mine.

hell, why must i go all the way over to give it to you.
and all i got back in return is, that you're not going to meet me,
even when i am just a few minutes walk away.
come on la.
you really think i so free meh?

i dun even owe you any of these in the very first place lah.

moreover, it's not once, not twice.
but a fucking three times since u changed your mind after settling everything with me.

do you people have any fucking idea that every single time i intended to meet you people is when i had sea training?
have you had any fucking idea that i have to carry that paper bag full of your stupid stuff,
up the fucking packed 7am bus with my heavy bag filled with shoes, books, notes and shirts,
carry that stupid paper bag all around in school because it just wun fit into my locker,
then carry it all the way to kallang and then ALL THE WAY BACK HOME.

ALL BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING CHANGED YOUR MIND.
it drove me crazy, you know.
you made me carry it there and there and everywhere,
and then i had to bring it home.

oh.
and those stupid excuses.
it's not convenient cause i changed my mind and take a bus instead of the train.
oh. i got to have dinner at suntec.
oh. i got a party to go to.

fuck lah.
if so, TELL ME LAH.
dun treat me like an idiot can or not.

i am so NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE OF YOU ANYMORE.

i felt fucking unappreciated.
and since i hate being treated for granted.
THAT'S IT.

i shall stop torturing myself.

oh well, it's time to do myself a good deed.

URGH.

chem spa tml.
study jiamin study.
no point kpkbing over indecisive people.

and i guess i can never get full marks for napfa.
stupid sit-and-reach.

today is a freaking bad and tired day.
and i have bio spa tml.
urgh.

enough said.

bye.

i spent 6 hours today coxing and teaching people how to row the boat.
1.5 hours travelling there.
heh.

that's how sunday passed.

but then , bloody hell.
i dropped someone's swatch watch into the bloody river.
it was a freaking accident.
and i got so upset kay. :(

i don't know what to do.
you can't expect me to pay full sum for that watch what.
it was so old and scratched.
urgh.

i feel so bad. bad bad bad bad bad.
WHY ME?

ahhaa.
i went thourgh some of my past entries.
they're tickling me.
haha.

then i realised, i actually wanted to go for volleyball trainings, instead of netball.
haha. so funny.
wasted sia.
till now, i still dun know how to play volleyball.

and i realised amanda never walked away alone, this year.
woots. hahah.

eeerrr.
it's so early now.
considering the fact that i slept pretty late yesterday.
and i actually dreamt of getting insomia.
hahaha.

ha.
it's raining now.
shouldn't be the case what.
i want to cox under the BIG scorching sun later one.
i wan to be sunburnnttttttttt!

so i will be ther at 12 to 6 later.
wheee.
dragonboat, dragoboat and dragonboat. (:

You're a sporty tom boy. That's not a bad thing.
You're friendly, competitive, athletic, and you
love to have fun. You attract a lot of guy
friends and make many girls jealous. Don't pay
attention to them. A lot of boys might think
you are aggressive and might be intimidated.
Don't worry, show them the other side of you
that makes people so attracted to your fun
personality. You also are a profectionist. You
have to be good at everything. But please don't
stress yourself out. You're just fine the way
you are.


What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

aahh.
now, who's jealous?
HAHAHA. (:

what a screwed up race.
blah.
i ran lousily.
i knew i could have run faster.

what a bummer.
urgh.

anyway, we came in second for our race.
but forth overall.
SUCKER!

but then i am still glad we did not fail ourselves. (:
well done girls. (:
at least we break our own best timing by 10 seconds. (:

you people really rock. (:
never mind the bloody medal.
it's the process, isn't it. (:

i am so proud, proud proud to be in 04s04. (:
oh well, challenge us!

You're of the "I hate school"
breed!
You just hate going to school
and can't stand waking up every day just for
school. But no choice, you just force your way
through school and when the time comes, you
leave the country for other, better education
systems. Bah, at least you have the resources
to do so, you rich/smart bugger!!


Which Stereotypical Singaporean Student Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ah.
i feel so sad today.

i accidentally murdered a very tiny and cute ladybug today.
it WAS an accident.
and you know what?

it's the first time i ever saw a ladybird okay.
i really dun mean to kill it.
they ask me to get it off her bag.
so i used to two fingers and shoot it away.

and it died.
just like that.

boo hoo.
it was a pretty little ladybird. :(

i feel so guilty now.
heh. :(

i was going through someone's blog on his friend's death just now.
and yeah, i think that person was related to me somehow.
never you mind.

i don't know why i started recalling that suicide thing which happened one or two years ago.
maybe that guy killed himself, hoping that everyone will remember him as the courageous or whatever boy he is known to them.
maybe he thought that it is best to leave the world like tat.
leave the world as and when he like.
maybe he thought that he would stay forever in their hearts.
maybe he thought he could remain internally in their memory.

but no.
hell no.
life have to go on.
life have to go on, without or without him.

even if it's heartache,
it only lasts for a few months. or years.
for time heals all wounds.
slowly, people moved on.

life resumes.
hectic and stuff.
new relationships formed.
more stuff to be done.
more tasks to be targeted.

whoever who is gone, is gone.
gone.
for good.

say, who will remember you for life, really?
maybe your dad, your mum, your family.
those whom you get to see and interact with daily.
but still, life have to go on for them.
you don't really expect people to wallow in agony till they die, do you?

and i was thinking,
what's the point of killing yourself when you haven't really make a mark in your/other people's life.
you could be a star you know.

i really don't understand why people rather kill themselves when everyone out there is struggling to survive.
you really think, a beggar wants to beg for food/money if he doesn't have to.
you really think that a foetus really wished to be aborted?
and do you think that people prayed and hoped that they get cancer or some other kinda disease.

i really don't understand how these healthy people who wants to die so badly, think.
they got everything other people wanted.
and yet, they don't know how to appreciate.

i guess everyone is blinded by something.
love. jealousy. wealth. unsatisfaction. whatever not.

i don't really know how to put anything i want to say in mind across.
but then, we got only one life. one chance.

live it.

for people who keep saying that they want to die,
fret not,
i am one of you too.
but seriously, i don't mean what i say 99.9% of the time.
hope that's the case for you too.

for the 0.1%, it depends. :P

i am so so so so damn hungry.
urgh. never mind.
and my knee is aching again.
don't know how why.
maybe it is not even the knee lah.
that part just aches. urgh.
especially when i sit down.

maybe i should stop whining.
went to istana instead of training with leah and my class people today.
glad that i went there anyway.
it's really BIG and BEAUTIFUL there. istana,
WOOTS!
plus, i get to sent my last regards to our late ex-president.

though i dun know that he's our ex-preseident until his death,
it still saddens me when i saw .........
and yeah, i regretted whatever crap i said before that trip (haha. and even after the trip :P)
anyway, we took a long time QUEUE-ing up there.
1 hours plus. standing there. heh.

and i guess some people just doesn't know how to keep their comments to themselves lah.
shall not say more. hahaha.
LEAH! WAKE UP YOUR IDEA!

and i didn't have maths remedial today. cause there's nothing much to do.
mdm lim advised me a lot though. (:
i still dun know why some people don't like her.
hahaha.
i think they're already too biased against her, that their mindset wun change.
i understand that though. hahaha.
i am like that too.

actually mr lim also quite nice.
i had GP remedial after maths too. hahaha.
poor amanda was sulking and teary-eyed at tt moment though.
can't help her. did my best by claling leah to replace her already.
anyway, Gp remedial was nice. i asked a lot. hahaha.
freee tuition ma. (:
i realise learnt my grammer stuff well.
thanks to aaron ho who always never fail to scold me whenever i made mistakes during pri sch days. (:
thank God for good teachers. (:
fundamental stuff can be so very important. (:

anyway, i guess jen jen's words are too harsh on amanda today.
but then amanda and i have to agree that she's, no doubt, correct.

she said something like,
sometimes, it doesn't mean that you can do what you feel like doing,
it doesn't mean that if you want to do something, you should get it your way,
that's NOT the way.
you are not only responsible for yourself, but also for the ones who care about you.
grow and think maturely.

ayah. true is true lah.
but seriously, if you want something really bad,
will you care?

hahaha.
not for my case though. :P

i think i am weird. serious mood swings. urgh.
hahaha. jen thinks so too.

ahhh.
like who cares?

ah, jiamin!
grow up.
and please, try not to get sick of things/people easily okay.

damn it.

it's monday again. :(
urgh.
time flies like nobody's business.

even the stupid 'zhong yi zue ai xian' wasn't amusing last night.
waste my one hour. zzz.
but that lin you wei was handsome leh. hahaha. (:

sigh.
i am so tired though i just woke up. :(
and i think i never will be good enough for anything.

so irritating.